“It was still dark when the two remaining members of team 4 arrived on training ground 13 to wait for their potential slaughter”
“I am aware that you probably hear this many times, from other people. But I still feel the need to say that this is your stupidest idea so far”
Mazui smiled as if that was a compliment “And that’s exactly why it can’t fail, nobody could possibly expect that we would try to pull something so stupid” he rubbed his hands together “My plan is so retarded its pure genius!”
“I would find the situation more palatable were we not risking possible dismemberment” was the dry retort.
“Faints and misdirection” Mazui reminded him “Without Kandzume there is no way we can pass going by the book, we might as well go for it in a less traditional way. We talked about this yesterday. This kind of stuff is what separates the common ninja from the genius. Just make sure you do your part”
“It is not my part that worries me old chum”
“Then what?” asked a rough voice directly behind them.
“AAAHH” Both of them screamed and turned around, hugging each other.
“Kages on a trike! How the hell did you get there!?”
The Jounin’s sole answer was to point to the forehead protector tied around his massive bicep.
“Where’s twitchy? I don’t want to explain this twice”
“What? He’s right there Basshu-sensei” Tekiya looked surprised that the Jounin couldn’t see him.
The Jounin turned to were he was pointed at and saw...
“That’s a can of corn” he deadpanned as he examined said object. ah, Del Monte.
“There is no need to be rude Basshu-sensei” Tekiya started his pitch “You just caught him on a bad day yesterday. As you can see, right now he has a steely determination that keeps the inner softness you saw yesterday freshly locked away”
The massive Jounin bravely resisted the urge to groan out loud. The kid was probably in the woods, setting up traps, he figured he wasn’t a direct confrontation kind of guy.
Instead of pursuing the issue he chose to ask something else. “Why are you blonde?”
“uh?”
“Why are you a blonde? Yesterday your hair was brown. Why is it blond now?”
Tekiya looked confused “I have not the slightest idea of what you are referring to”
“Doesn’t matter, I’ll find out later” To the Genins delight he started the instructions. “Your test will be a capture mission. You have ta capture and pin me down by any means yer twisted little minds can come up with. You have til noon, if you can’t complete the mission you fail, if you are crippled or killed you fail. Begin when you’re ready”
Contrary to what he figured instead of scampering off, the kimono clad Genin, Tekiya, actually took a step forward.
“Basshu Akado, you are under citizens’ arrest under suspicion of conspiracy”
That actually gave him pause “what?”
“Yesterday you were heard planning the murder of a Konohagakure shinovi, any leaf operative that returns from an undercover assignment whose duration exceeds the two years mark is to be watched carefully and brought in to questioning immediately when exhibiting suspicious behavior according to rule four-eight-six, in the Konoha ninja operations manual. Failure to comply when presented with this summons will result in the immediate branding of said shinovi as missing Nin followed by imprisonment and execution”
The Jounin scratched his crotch “Cute” he deadpanned. “But rule four-eight-six, is to never eat burritos before a stake out, and when you try to pull something like that off you better have the muscle to do it. Got it?”
Tekiya shrugged “It was worth the shot”
Basshu turned to Mazui who had been silent during the exchange “What about you. Any bright ideas?”
Instead of answering, the other Genin flickered slightly, a sign of a clone running out of steam.
“uh?”
“Got you!” Mazui grabbed him on a sleeper hold from behind “Surrender Basshu-sensei. I have you firmly in my grasp!” well… maybe sleeper hold was not an apt description, since Mazui just, sort off hung uselessly from the back of his neck.
“Is he serious?” he asked Tekiya, who shrugged again “At this point I don’t think it matters. Just go with it”
The massive Jounin hung his head for a moment, before reaching back and idly plucking Mazui, who still was trying to choke him. He held him face to face.
“Take this seriously or you will die” He admonished him sternly.
The response was immediate and spoken with haste “What are you talking about Basshu?”
Bashu frowned and spiked him like a football. Mazui hit the ground, hard, before exploding in a big cloud of smoke. When it dispersed, both Genin were gone, they even took the can of corn with them. Only the log Mazui traded places with, and pieces of a few smoke bombs remained. Basshu’s frown lessened “clever” he muttered.
In a forested area of the training ground Tekiya and Mazui were trying to come up with a plan
“I still can’t believe this asinine plan of yours is working so far” Said Tekiya, sounding incredulous.
“The switch or the tagging?” Mazui asked.
“Both. But now are we going to, as they say, –topple the mountain–?”
“Give me a minute. I’m still psyched we got this far”
Flashback
“We’ll simply find a substitute”
“Are you serious? You think I can convince someone to ditch his team?” Tekiya sounded a little flattered
“Of course not!” Mazui waved him off “I have the perfect replacement right here!”
Tekiya started massaging the bridge of his nose “I hope you’re aware that you are holding a can of creamed corn in your hands. What are you even doing carrying around a can of corn?”
“I brought it to make fun of Kandzume. Now I’ll have to use it to replace him. Life is funny like that sometimes” he nodded sagely.
“That’s not funny, it’s deranged. Ninja are supposed to be a little bit nuts, there’s no denying that, but this is the kind approach that gets you sent to psychological evaluation”
“I’m opened to suggestions” He sounded sincere “Listen, without Kandzume we’re screwed. We most likely wont get too far and will get stopped once they figure out we switched Kandzume with a can of vegetables. Our only hope to pass the test is to score enough points on our own before they discover us.”
That gave Tekiya pause, usually Mazui was full of misplaced confidence that his moronic plans would work. Like the time he tried to sneak in to the Aburame compound by covering himself with bug repellent, just because someone told him that they had a giant vault full of sunglasses.
“So it’s a feint” the idea appealed to him, and as much as he loathed admitting it, Mazui was right, as distant as it was, it was their only chance.
He sighed “What do you need me to do?”
Mazui’s smile was huge “I’m glad you asked. Come, there is much we must do if we’re gonna to pull this off”
End flashback
Bashuu casually strolled thru the forest, merrily whistling a drinking song from Kumo, it wouldn’t do for the kids to simply not find him.
He briefly considered simply ditching them, but he had been out of the village for a long time and was curious about how well they trained graduates at the academy. He’d heard rumors that after the Uchiha massacre they decided to lower the academy’s standards in order to fill the gap left by the loss of a mayor clan. But rumors were just that, rumors, he intended to find out for himself.
He heard rustling from the bushes nearby and prepared himself.
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(Posted Fri, 17 Aug 2012 01:31)
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