Actually now that she was paying attention, it was rather obvious what was wrong. “Jiraiya,” Tsunade asked faintly, “why is Naruto taller than me?”
The genin had turned away, his entire body noticeably shaking as he made a valiant effort at controlling himself. Hearing the slug princess acknowledge their new difference in stature was too much though, and he dissolved into loud hilarity.
Shizune meekly opened the room's closet, revealing a full length mirror and Tsunade looked at it with mounting dread. Strange red eyes blinked back at her as she stared at a tiny stranger.
There were no word more fitting. Tiny legs, tiny arms, tiny torso, just plain tiny. The head was a like a marble set atop a stubby neck, blond hair framing a face where familiar traits were deadened by a puffiness that wouldn't have been amiss on a baby but had no place on the grown woman she was. Or at least should be, because that girl couldn't be older than 6.
“The old lady turned into a midget!” Naruto exclaimed between two peals of laughter. “Oh man, this is priceless!”
Jinchuriki have usually great regenerative capacity, the downsized Sannin mused.
Nobody had ever claimed that Tsunade was cool-headed even under the best of circumstances. This was far from the best of circumstances and thus she was launching herself at Naruto on tiny feet in the blink of an eye, intent on dealing a very liberal amount of pain.
The thoroughly distracted genin nearly missed the small bundle of pure rage that came at him but sobered in time to settle his hand on her forehead, keeping her at bay as her ams flailed about in an attempt to claw out his eyes.
Even angry the small girl looked cute and harmless, like a puppy trying to munch its owner's hand before it had grown teeth, and Naruto's face strained under the assault of another bout of mad laughter when he reminded himself that he was talking about the big bad Hokage-to-be. Clearly Jiraiya were thinking the same thing, because he snickered and tried to hide it behind an awkward cough.
That was last bit of mockery Tsunade's dignity could endure and her restraint snapped. If the brat found what was happening to her funny, then surely shoving his fist up his nose every time he tried to take a step would be a riot! She thrust two fingers at the nerve bundle just below the wrist and pumped lightning chakra in it.
There was a white flash, intense heat and the sound of tearing flesh. Tsunade was thrown back on the bed, stunned.
“Naruto-kun!” “Brat!”
Naruto was twitching on the ground, his face a mask of pain as electricity arced over his body. The charred end of his jacket's sleeve revealed a burned stump that leaked blood profusely. Bits of flesh mixed were strewn across the room in a gory fashion. The slug princess felt her blood run cold.
“What the hell, Tsunade?” Jiraiya yelled.
“I didn't mean to,” she replied defensively.” I misjudged the amount of chakra.”
“You haven't fumbled your control since you've hit puberty!”
“Are you blind? I'm not even a teen anymore!”
“Jiraiya-sama! Tsunade-sama! Look!”
Under Shizune's bewildered gaze, the pieces of flesh and bones crawled back to Naruto, attaching themselves to the stump which had returned to a healthy color despite that Naruto himself was still going through seizures. Like a gory puzzle the pieces of arm shuffled together until they fit and new flesh and bone grew from the stump to replace what was still missing. Soon, Naruto's arm was whole again.
The room was utterly silent as the genin stood up and moaned painfully. “ Way too go overboard, granny. Learn to take a joke.”
“...”
“Aw, look at this! That was my favorite jacket!” He whined pitifully, swinging the bare arm wildly.
“...”
Shizune clapped loudly once. “W-well, I sure am hungry after last night! Is anybody interested in a late breakfast?”
*********
“... So what you're saying is that I moulted.”
The four ninjas were sitting down around a table in the corner of the restaurant, sharing a meal of rice and grilled fish. The few other costumers were wise enough to give them space.
Jiraiya had filled her in about the end of the fight and asked her what had she had done to Naruto. He'd been disappointed that she knew nothing, but not nearly as much as she. The discussion had then switched to the previous night's events.
“More like melted,” Naruto said quickly around a mouthful of rice. “You were boiling in the bed! We had to open the window to see anything and there was this brown sludge getting all over the blankets. Shizune put a needle in your arm to inject you with water and spent all night wiping you with a damp cloth and changing the beddings. I had to spend the night getting fresh blankets in and taking the filthy one down to the laundry room. The cleaning ladies must hate you now because there were a ton of them by the end. I don't think they'll ever be white again, they were gross and smelled like sh-”
Jiraiya shoved a fish in the babbling genin's mouth, lest his foot got in there. “Anyway, your body got into a state of hyperactivity last night. New cells birthed at the cost of thrice their number, a large quantity of proteins, sugar and fat burnt to feed the process. You ran a very high fever and we had to constantly cool you down. You current condition is the result.”
Shizune continued. “At first I thought that it was the Souzou Sasei going berserk, but that third eye on your forehead invalidated that theory. More importantly the new cells weren't just replacement of the old one, they were a brand new specimen that didn't match your biology at all. I was afraid your body would reject them so I put a stasis seal on you to slow down your vital functions, but I still don't know how your survived the ordeal.” She shook her head. “You lost two third of your mass! Your body should have broke down in something akin to a generalized cancer, but it kept functioning even as your organs were shrinking down! And all I could do was make sure you were hydrated and didn't suffocate on your waste.” The medic took a shuddering breath and gulped down some water herself.
Tsunade casually ate her food while she replied to her agitated disciple. “The only true factor in the evaluation of a treatment is the condition of its patient. Maybe you didn't do much, maybe you saved my life, what matters is whether your patient is in good health. Am I fine, Shizune?”
Shizune squirmed in her seat, a terrified rookie facing her legendary master once again. “Your vitals are sound. You answered my questions with no trouble so my preliminary diagnosis of your mental health is positive as well. But even beyond your age you're so different I can't say anything for sure.”
Tsunade nodded. “What you described sounds far more thorough and traumatic that everything I've read about awakening bloodline limits, but that process is over isn't it?” Shizune agreed. “ So right now, after having examined me, have you detected any illness or caught any suspicious symptom?”
The medic shook her head vigorously. “No, there's nothing that seems endangering. You're the healthiest five years old I've ever met, ninjas included. But-”
“-I've changed,” Tsunade cut her off, acting as solemnly as her child's body allowed. “I've mostly kept the same morphology, but i've mutated on a level more fundamental than a mere awakened bloodline. I've noticed as well, Shizune.”
The small Sannin set down her bowl. Putting a chopstick straight up on the table, she raised a single finger. “This goes farther than my body.” She poked down the chopstick's top and it was pulverized on contact, a hole drilled straight through the table by the leftover energy.“My chakra has also changed.”
“Awesome!” Naruto cheered. Jiraiya gave away nothing, but this was probably the answer to his most pressing worry.
Tsunade continued addressing her disciple. “At this point it's natural to assume that my mind may have also been affected. But all that doesn't matter,” she said with a lazy shrug.
“Whatever that change was, it wasn't an illness, an injury or an attack from an enemy ninja, it wasn't your job to treat it. Your job was to make sure I came out of it in good health. So I'm going to ask you once again. Am I fine, Shizune?”
A resigned smile grew on the other woman's face. “Yes, you are fine Tsunade-sama.”
Tsunade's smile didn't have any restraint. “Good girl."
"Now go get me some sake.”
“No.” Shizune replied instantly, all sunny. “Your body can't handle large amount of alcohol and you don't know when to stop.”
Jiraiya laughed. “The girl got your number, princess. Take heart, your next drink is just fifteen years away.”
Tsunade growled. “We'll see about that later. I have a couple of questions for you, Jiraiya.”
“Shoot.”
“One, why didn't you tell me the brat could regrow limbs? I could have used that information when we fought Orochimaru.”
“I can what?” Naruto asked smartly.
“He couldn't before. Whatever you did changed him as much as you, and I'm just as in the dark as you are."
“I suspected as much,” she admitted. Her tone was vastly more threatening as she asked her other question. “Two, I heard what Naruto and Shizune did last night but you were conspicuously absent. What did you do?”
“Ah Princess,” the perverted Sage chuckled, grinning in way worthy of his title. “I did my duty as a witness. Because there are things that must never be forgotten.”
“Watching.” His eyes fogged.
“Touching.” His hand rose to chest level, fingers spread wide. They moved as though following the outline of something large and round.
“Experiencing fully.” His fingers participated actively now, moving with care but energy, firmly massaging the air as if handling something heavy but soft and pliable.
“And committing every single delectable details to memory.” The Hermit's tongue licked his lips in delight.
Tsunade flipped the table at her old teammate.
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(Posted Fri, 03 Aug 2012 00:18)
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