Taking a deep breath, the heir of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts couldn’t deny it. This might not have been ayu, but damn it! No one could prepare salmon like Kasumi could. She could take the oily fish, and use a combination of seasons and charring to make it perfect for final grilling. And she gave him a HUGE piece too! This sucker had to be, maybe three lbs.!
Using his chopsticks, Ranma broke off a piece of the pinkish-fish and brought it to his lips. The tender flesh practically melted his his mouth; a tremble going up his spine. “Mmm-mmm-MMM!” he practically moaned happily around a mouthful of salmon before swallowing. The male youth turned his attention to the eldest Tendo, grinning widely. “Delicious as always, Kasumi!” he said, praising the woman for her culinary skills.
Smiling, the brunette homemaker who was practically the matriarch of the Tendo home bowed her head in thanks for the gratitude her family’s houseguest gave her. It always felt nice to be appreciated; Kami knew she would’ve enjoyed some gratitude from the rest when she served dinner. “I’m glad you like it, Ranma. I’m just sorry it’s not the ayu you were looking forward to.” After all, if he was this thankful for salmon, would she have been able to get him to do some of the stuff in her magazines if she’d managed to get him some ayu?
And no, not the magazines on the kitchen table of “Better Homes and Gardens” either. The ones she picked up while out at market and hid under her bed for those long, cold, lonely nights.
“Aww, that’s okay Kasumi,” Ranma told the woman, waving her off with his chopsticks. He looked over to the purple-furred feline woman and smiled. He reached his free hand over to the demonic entity, scratching her behind her ear. “I found something better.”
“NERU!” the creature that was a mixture of Youma shadow and Daimon remnant agreed, purring happily as she pressed her head up against his hand.
“And here is some for you too,” Kasumi added, holding out a second plate for the demonic cat creature.
“...Neko?” the dark hybrid asked, leaning her head forward and sniffing the plate in curiosity.
Ranma paused in eating the mana from Heaven that was Kasumi’s cooking—not to be confused with the odd concoction that Akane would make when she wanted to prove herself, and thus would create something that Hell would fear of taking over—to gauge his pet’s reaction. “You know, I’m not even sure she can eat solid foods.”
“Oh?” asked Kasumi. “Are you sure she can’t eat something I could make?”
Tapping his lips with his chopsticks for a moment, the martial artist considered the cook’s question. “I think she feeds off life-energy,” Ranma replied. At least, that seemed to be what was the basic knowledge of Juuban monsters; passed down to him from his friends/fanboys of the Sailor Senshi. And after hearing them spend two class periods debating the measurements of said girls, he decided they had to be informed of the strange rules governing the madness of Juuban District.
They didn’t hand out handy guides like they did in Nerima, something about their publisher burning down... or exploding... or maybe it was absorbed by some giant red ball of death...
Although she was happy for her guest that he seemed to have a handle of the situation, the eldest Tendo daughter couldn’t help but notice something. Although she felt it wasn’t her place to tell him how he should handle his new status as a pet-owner, Kasumi felt that she should bring this to his attention. “Oh, Ranma... your pet is leeching off of your meal.”
Nodding his head, Ranma lifted another bite of salmon to his mouth, popping it in. He didn’t even chew before swallowing so he could quickly answer, “Yeah, I know.” He stuffed another bite of his salmon into his mouth and swallowed. “Like I said before, Nekonneru needs energy, so she’s feeding from me as I eat.”
The Acting Tendo Matriarch shook her head. “No, not that,” Kasumi said as she motioned to the catgirl of infernal origins. “I mean she’s actually eating your salmon.”
Ranma blinked his eyes once, twice. “...Huh?” turning his head, the raven-haired youth caught sight of Nekonneru working the other side of his salmon, using her claws to break off bits before bringing it to her mouth—noticeably, her own plate was already empty. “Well, I’ll be damned...” he said with a chuckle as she seemed to enjoy eating. “Looks like I’ll have to start beating up Pops for his portions.” Hey, not like the panda couldn’t use a diet. And diets only worked if you had help sticking to them—yes, he was certain his old man would thank him for the help he didn’t ask for but sure as hell needed.
Nekonneru missed all of this, discovering what few creations like her experienced: Kasumi’s cooking. Sure, she would gain no nourishment from it—just being near her beloved Light General Master was enough to sate her. But the sheer tastes, textures, the overwhelming joyful sensations it delivered to her pallet more than made up for it! Like a human with junk food, even though it was not going to help her body, she found herself addicted to this new experience.
*Clink*!
Blinking, the infernal catgirl looked down to see her Master’s plate was now empty—his mouth suspiciously full as he chewed. Unsure of what to do, she tried to mimic what she had seen other humans do in a similar situation—namely the gender whose chest she mimicked.
“Oh, she knows tricks!” Kasumi clapped happily, watching the hybrid pick up the plate, look at her, and give the saddest begging face possible, something that seemed almost wrong, coming from the pet.
Swallowing fiercely, the Saotome male nodded his head. “Er... yeah... I guess so...” Ranma replied with a chuckle. Darn. Where was his old man when he needed to beat him up for his share of dinner? It wouldn’t be like lunch when Akane gave away his portion of the ayu to her damned neo-pig. After all, Ranma worked for HIS food—and as stated earlier, the old man could use to lose some weight!
Shaking her head at the naivety of the male teen’s response, Kasumi was about to tell the lovely new house-pet that she could have some more when she caught sight of something else. Those beautiful red eyes, which had been giving her such a needy pleading look, were suddenly becoming strained as she squinted. “Ranma! I think something’s wrong with your pet!” she said with warning.
At the eldest Tendo daughter’s shout, Ranma’s eyes widened with worry. As a caring pet owner, his pet’s health was important to him! “Nekonneru! What’s wrong girl!?” he practically shrieked out as he turned the infernal catgirl to face him, checking her over for whatever could be wrong.
*Gurgle!*
Nekonneru’s eyes bulged out. They may have been naturally red, but they were taking on darker crimson streaks from sudden stress. And then it happened, the thing all pet owners of something more than a goldfish dreaded.
“HUWAA~AAAAAARF!!” the purple pussycat puked into Ranma’s lap.
The human paled for a moment as he felt a mass of... something... start to pile up all over his crotch and thighs. “Augh! Bad Nekonneru, BAD! Not all over my lap!” Ranma chided his pet in a stern voice, even as he was rubbing her back to help her work through the pain and get it all out. Apparently Youma just couldn’t eat food after all. Well, he supposed that would happen if you lived all your life on an energy diet and then just suddenly introduced solid foods.
From her place over on the side, a smirk started to grace the middle Tendo daughter’s features. That would serve the punk for ignoring her ‘suggestions’ and the fact that he continued to owe her more and more on his tab. “Well, looks like you will have to clean up after your pet after all Sao... to... me...” she trailed off as the purple-furred Youma/Daimon mix lifted herself up, revealing just what it was she had regurgitated all over Ranma’s lap. “...Did your monster just puke up diamonds?”
Blinking his eyes once, twice, the pigtailed martial artist looked down. Yep. Although they were scratched and chunk-like in the shape—not to mention WARM—they were indeed gemstones. “Yeah... PURPLE diamonds.”
Ranma let out a sigh of relief he didn’t realize he was holding. It was solid... and dry... which meant he might avoid the ‘extra’ bath today. Not that he had anything against taking baths—just that when he took one, if he stayed over three minutes, someone always walked in.
“GAH!”
Of course, that relief was replaced with strong fear as the middle Tendo nearly threw herself down on him as she tried to quickly gather the gemstones in his lap.
“MYNE!” she cried out, almost mimicking a certain Lantern who didn’t exist in this universe.
“Now, Nabiki; Ranma said he would be responsible and take care of his pet,” Kasumi chided. “And that means cleaning up her messes.” Although, Kasumi didn’t really know if the proper response was to smack the catgirl on the nose with a rolled up paper and rub her nose in it.
The latter might be painful with rocks.
“Oh, no-no! That’s fine, Kasumi! Perfectly fine!” the middle Tendo daughter of Soun told her older sister as she was already fishing a hand within her pocket for a jeweler’s eyeglass she kept on her person as she grabbed a handful of purple gemstones from Ranma’s lap—smirking at his cry of fear as she purposely rubbed against his crotch.
Finding the needed case, she flipped it open with her right thumb as she placed it down on the table. She then picked up the eye-piece, bringing it to the right side of face. She closed her left eye as she lifted her left hand up, studying the gemstones.
“Hmmm...” the Yen Vampire mumbled as she studied the jewels intently. “Varying shades of purple... lush hue. Six-sided prism ending in a six-sided prism pattern; that makes it a Class 32 rhombohedral... moh value is at least a seven... friction streaks from the vomiting are solid white... streaks are readily apparent as overall texture of the gems is a true translucent within a glossy luster...”
She smiled. Yep. This Youma/Daimon just puked top-grade Amethyst gemstones. Putting her jeweler’s eyeglass back in its case and closing the lid, the woman pocketed both it along with the handful of gemstones she’d been holding. “Congratulations, Ranma!” Nabiki practically cooed. “With this mess your pet has made, you’ve made enough to almost cover the repairs from earlier today! Isn’t that something?” she asked quite cheerily... which for once, wasn’t faked.
“...Yeah,” Ranma grumbled, adjusting his pants from the manhandling as he considered things.
On one hand, his awesome new pet was showing a way to help him erase his financial debts.
On the downside, he would have to watch to make sure Nabiki didn’t try to feed his pet, just to get her to vomit. Not only might that be something that done continuously, could harm his pet, but he knew damned well Nabiki wouldn’t count anything towards his debt. She would claim to have done all the work herself.
Besides, he knew she was undercutting him on what the gems were worth—she was Nabiki after all. He’d have to spend the day tomorrow looking for an outsider to give him a fair price for the jewels. Sadly, his Old Man never taught him to fence high-end merchandise like that!
Just another failure of his to teach me stuff I need to know, he thought sadly.
“...Nekonneru?” the Youma/Daimon pedigree finally queried, looking up at her master with a nervous stare. She didn’t mean to vomit all over him, really! Apparently the black hole that made of the hollow center of her being that allowed the Daimon portion of her to crystalize pure hearts could do such to more than JUST hearts...
Looking at the pitiful expression on his pet’s face, the pigtailed martial artist merely inhaled deeply before letting out a slow sigh. “Ohhh... it’s okay, Neko-chan...” he told the purple-furred catgirl as he reached out with his right hand again, using his fingers to scratch affectionately along her scalp within the mess of black hair. “You didn’t mean to. And apparently, it’s a helpful trait...”
“VERY HELPFUL!” Nabiki chimed in gleefully as she got on her hands and knees, checking along the floor for any smaller gems or even gem-dust she might have missed. “In fact, you may want to consider a variety of foods! Who knows? It may change the color!” she commanded helpfully suggested.
Watching Nabiki crawl around on the floor, Ranma raised an eyebrow. Slowly, he inquired, “So... I take it you no longer have a problem with me keeping Nekonneru?”
“...Problem? Me?” the woman cooed as she continued to check about the floor, pressing the side of her head to the wood floorboards as she looked under the table, scrutinizing the surface. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”
Eyes narrowed, Ranma held back his aura—not wanting to startle his pet, who was purring from his scratching—as he told her, “You were telling me to get rid of her earlier.”
“LIES!” the woman shouted from her space beneath the dining table, either not noticing or merely ignoring the jock’s icy tone. “LIES AND SLANDER!”
“See,” Kasumi stated with a happy tone. “I just knew my sister would warm up to a pet. She always loved Mr. Tiddles.”
“...I may regret this,” Ranma stated, petting the now purring hybrid of Dark Kingdom of Evil Pharaoh 90 magics. “But who or what, pray-tell, was Mr. Tiddles?”
“Oh, it was before you came to stay with us, Ranma-kun,” Kasumi replied. “A long time ago, Father took us up to the mountains for a camping trip. And while there, I was befriended by this beautiful song bird. He even followed us home...” she sighed. “But then one day,” she continued sadly. “He had to leave and go back to his family.”
A twitch spasmed erratically in the martial artist’s left eye. “... Let me guess,” Ranma groused. “Nabiki saw him leave.”
The eldest Tendo blinked her eyes at that response. “Why, yes; however did you know?”
Growling, Ranma placed a protective arm around his pet.
Hearing the growl, the middle Tendo pulled her head out from underneath the table. Nabiki stared at the pigtailed martial artist who had his left arm all over the creature from the Juuban district. “Ranma... do you think me so shallow, so heartless, so brain-dead as to kill the goose who laid the golden egg?” Her eyes narrowing as he began to open his mouth, she quickly added, “Rhetorical question! One word and it’s added to your debt!”
Shutting his trap shut, Ranma continued to glare at Nabiki as he held his Youma/Daimon protectively, moving her to sit on his lap, his other arm coming up to hold onto her as well.
Closing her eyes, Nekonneru purred at the possessive affection her master had for her. Truly, this Light General finding her was the best thing that could have happened in her life. True, dislodging the ‘leftovers’ from the physical food hadn’t been all that comfortable, but even that seemed to be a good thing to these people. Truly, her place was secure...
“WHAT THE HELL!?”
And thus, a cloud of darkness descended upon her world, the monster turned pet opened her eyes again, spotting a girl with short bluish-black hair, holding a black... treat? “Neko?” she inquired curiously.
“Hey, Akane!” Ranma waved happily—making sure to keep a sense of where Nabiki was in case she tried to send his great pet to the same place she probably sent Mr. Tiddles. “I got me a pet! And she’s way more awesome than Bacon-Bits!”
Glaring at the direction of his fiancé, Akane snarled as her anger merely rose. “So, you’re keeping a hussy as a pet!?” she snapped.
“Oh, she isn’t a hussy,” Kasumi mindfully corrected. “She’s a creature Ranma rescued from a ruined school building in Juuban district of the Minato Ward.”
It was then middle Tendo crawled out from underneath the dining set. “A pet who barfs up precious stones when she eats real food,” Nabiki added helpfully, standing up from under the table... which showed just how angry Akane was, as such didn’t even add fuel to the fire from giving the appearance that something inappropriate may have been happening under the table.
“...Yeah... right!” the youngest Tendo huffed irritably. “It’s just another fiancée you perverted jerk!” she snarled as she glared at the chauvinistic pigtailed bastard, causing P-Chan to squeal in pain within her arms as her grasp tightened.
A flash gleamed across her older sister’s eyes. “AKANE!” Nabiki snapped. “Destroy that Monster-of-the-Week, and I’m calling in your debt this instant!!”
Surprisingly, THAT had the desired effect. Immediately, the aura of crimson sputtered out around the girl as she looked at her older sister with a sense of dread. “...You wouldn’t...”
“Try me,” was Nabiki’s curt reply. She hadn’t been kidding when she said she wouldn’t kill this golden goose, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to let anyone else do it either if the ability to do so was within her power. Who did these people think she was, Genma Saotome? “You touch one hair on the Youma’s head and I’m calling in every single Yen right here and now.”
Her knees trembling, the youngest Tendo looked on at Nabiki with a look of sheer horror. “But... but,” Akane sputtered.
“No buts!” Nabiki stated firmly. “I love you, Little Sister, but Ranma-baby’s pet pukes up precious gems... and I love that more!” She turned about and left the dining room for a moment. “In fact,” she continued, opening up the fridge. “She looks a little thin... better get her some more food!”
The eldest Tendo blinked her eyes once, twice. “You really think so?” Kasumi asked, observing the pet. “What is the appropriate weight for her, anyway? I mean, her coat seems healthy, but we don’t want to have health problems later on.”
“Oh, that’s all right! No need for it!” Ranma insisted. “Just look at how she smiles! How she’s affectionate!” his eyes narrowed as he glared at the direction of the kitchen. “And besides, she vomits jewels when she has real food! Warm jewels! And that is just a kami-awful sensation!” he shouted, actively trying to suppress a shudder.
Ignoring Ranma’s rant, the middle Tendo daughter just closed the fridge door with a bump of her hips. “I don’t see how that’s a problem. The warmth is just the sign of a fresh minting! And mama loves the feel of freshly minted precious gemstones!” Returning to the room with a plate loaded with sausages, she told them, “After all, diamonds are a girl’s best friend! And by association, that means Nekonneru is ours!”
“...I thought you said she puked up amethysts...” he said slowly.
“And I’m hoping white meat means diamonds...” Nabiki stated as she held out a foot-long bratwurst to Nekonneru. “Come on! Come on, Nekonneru-chan!” the woman cooed. “Come and eat Nabiki’s sausage! Sausage all for you!”
The eldest Tendo gasped at what her younger sister was doing. “Oh my! Nabiki,” Kasumi spoke up in an almost chiding voice. “Those are the special summer sausages I was saving for tonight! She can have some but not all of it! What will we eat?”
“Whatever we want!” Nabiki chimed, holding up one of the sausages to the sniffing nose of the catgirl. “Maybe pork.”
“BWEE!”
“But the food budget is already stretched thin,” Kasumi fretted. “Besides, the sausages are made of pork.”
“BWEE!”
The middle Tendo daughter snorted. “As far as we know,” Nabiki muttered with a shake of her head. “Anyway, let’s just see how she likes one.” After all, the golden goose could spit out something worthless. For the purpose of greed, Nabiki decided to experiment later—preferably when Ranma was distracted—and see what food produced what gems.
Twitching irritably, the youngest daughter of Soun couldn’t take it anymore. Despite her fear of being billed, she had to make this known. “Girls!” Akane called out. “Stop saying the p-word! You know how that upset’s P-Chan!”
Nabiki just kept on smiling. “Yeah, yeah! Speaking of which...” she turned from Nekonneru to stare at the little black porker. “What have YOU done for us lately?”
“...Bwee?” the little black neo-piglet squeaked.
Glaring, the middle Tendo pointed an accusatory finger at the little creature/Jusenkyo-cursed victim. “You heard me! Coming and going as you please, eating whatever you want, never contributing anything... probably leaving pig poop underneath the house! Oh yes, if it wasn’t for the fact that you eat LESS than Genma, I’d say you were worse than the panda!”
“BWEE!?”
“NABIKI!!” Akane screamed in horror, unable to believe that her sister would be so rude and inconsiderate of her beloved P-Chan.
Shrugging her shoulders in indifference, the most mercenary of the women replied, “Sorry, Sis. Got a new favorite...” she turned her attention back to Nekonneru. “Now come on my purple pretty... enjoy some summer sausage...” she cooed as she moved one of the oblong treats back and forth in the catgirl’s mouth, trying to get her to take a bite—moving it back and forth, back and forth, again and again.
“BWEE!”
*SPURT*!
“P-CHAN!!” the Heir of the Tendo Training Hall screamed as her pet’s nose erupted in an immense nosebleed... all over her white blouse.
“Not to mention medical and dry cleaning bills,” Nabiki continued, as Nekonneru started to nibble on the sausage.
Blinking her eyes, Kasumi turned towards her youngest sister. “Come to think of it, maybe you should take poor P-Chan to a vet. That can’t be normal... and he tends to wander around a lot. Who knows what diseases he’s acting as the vector for!”
Ranma just kept his mouth shut. As much as he wanted to bait the porker and hopefully reveal Ryoga’s issue, he was a responsible pet owner now, and had to make sure Nabiki didn’t kill Nekonneru for greed... or sell her... or swindle her from him... Maybe I should just forbid her from hanging out with Nabiki, just to be safe.
“There is nothing wrong with P-Chan!” Akane replied in an annoyed tone. “He just gets nervous when people mention the p-word around him. He’s afraid we might try and eat him!”
“Speaking of which...” Nabiki said slowly, eyes narrowing as she herself started to put two-and-two together. “How DOES he understand the ‘p-word’ anyway?”
“Well, pigs are VERY smart!” the younger sister replied in a huff, holding her pet tighter and practically smothering him against her bloodied blouse-covered chest. “I read it in a book somewhere: pigs are supposed to be smarter than dogs and cats, you know!”
Rolling her eyes, brunette with a pageboy-haircut snorted. “Oh please, GENMA is smarter than a dog or cat...” was Nabiki’s rather curt retort as she continued to hold the sausage within Nekonneru’s mouth, allowing the monster to tentatively feast on the meat. “And I wouldn’t call him intelligent.”
Frowning, Ranma felt he should say something concerning his old man... yet he couldn’t really bring himself to argue with Nabiki’s logic. And he knew from personal experience that he certainly wasn’t smarter than Shampoo and she WAS a c-c-c-Furry Thing often thanks to her own Jusenkyo curse!
For her part, Nekonneru was wondering what the heck was flavoring this thing in her mouth and if she should take a big bite, nibble, suck, or blow.
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(Posted Fri, 03 May 2013 22:33)
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