The arbiter, Freya she'd been introduced as, listened while swirling around some amber liquid in her glass. It was only when both of the hagglers had finished that she spoke. "To conclude then. Jiraiya of the Sannin will distribute two scrolls from Bastet of the Egyptian pantheon, one being a cat-summoning contract and the other being the 'feline enhancement jutsu' to up to two kunoichi. One of whom will be a member of an established clan."
"Agreed," said Jiraiya.
"Agreed," said Bastet, handing over two scrolls.
Jiraiya made the scrolls vanish up one sleeve.
"Further," said Freya. "The device known as a Jinki will remain in Jiraiya's care but will receive the modification known as the Catgirl Surprise should anyone try to use it for the purpose of eradicating a species."
"Oh yes, agreed," said Bastet.
"Frankly, any change of a setting from 'genocide' to something less tragic meets my approval," said Jiraiya. "Hopefully it won't be necessary - but agreed."
"You and catgirls," complained Mystra.
"I like catgirls, they're bouncy fun," said Bastet.
"I also don't object to bouncy fun," admitted Jiraiya.
"And, if you'll recall, I added elves to the potential results parameters just in the spirit of inclusiveness," said Bastet, holding up a sphere of something gold and swirling and touching it to the Jinki that Jiraiya held up.
"My turn?" asked Eilistraee.
"Do I need to do this?" asked Naruto.
"Do you have any skill at bargaining, making deals with foreign dignitaries, developing contracts?" asked Jiraiya. "Diplomacy?"
"Uhm, no," said Naruto. Yeah, he'd dealt with foreign princesses and such, but not so much writing stuff out.
"Then no," said Jiraiya.
"Perhaps I could take over?" asked Nina.
"I admit, I don't have much experience with this bargaining either," admitted Eilistraee.
"Oh, I'll handle it then," said Bastet brightly.
"I suppose," said the drow goddess, looking into her glass. "Maybe I should specify something stronger."
"Thash right," said Eilistraee. "Chu go, go go, gogogo." KER-THUNK!
"You know, for a warrior goddess, she's a lightweight," said Bastet, looking at where the drow goddess currently passed out at the table.
"Huh?" asked Naruto, who'd tuned out everything from sheer boredom with the proceedings. "Did you two stop arguing finally?"
"Right, I think I got a good deal," said Nina happily.
"Right," said Bastet. "You get four mystic swordmaidens in addition to your three Sekirei. Two will be dark elves from her mother's side, two light elves from her father's side of the elven species."
"I what?" asked Naruto.
"After the initial marriages and the progeny," continued Bastet, "they'll eventually have a sizable enough genetic pool to intermarry again and basically have a bloodline clan."
"What?" squeaked Naruto.
"Something wrong?" asked Nina.
"No, actually," said Jiraiya. "I think you did pretty good."
"WHAT?!" squeaked Naruto.
"Which everyone involved would have to agree on," added Jiraiya. "Which seems pretty unlikely to be Naruto only."
"WHAT?!" squeaked Naruto.
"Yeah, I kinda thought you looked zoned out for most of that," said Jiraiya.
"B-b-but?!" tried Naruto.
"You have to forgive him," said Jiraiya. "He's at the age where hormones haven't really kicked in. He's had a crush on one girl, but otherwise he acts as if he's still at the 'girls are icky' stage."
"I DO NOT!" declared Naruto.
"Why he hasn't even practiced with his Sekirei, letting them have their Noritos," said Jiraiya.
"I WHAT?!" asked Naruto.
"Kissing, Ashikabi-sama," gently said Nina, hoping their Ashikabi wouldn't have a heart attack. "We Sekirei say our Noritos after being kissed to unleash powerful abilities."
"Oh?" asked Naruto.
"Girls don't have cooties, you know," supplied Jiraiya.
"I know that!" declared Naruto, glaring at his sensei. "Just because I don't act all pervy with anyone, doesn't mean I'm a kid!"
"But you are a kid," said Jiraiya. "Fourteen."
"Why are you acting all calm and thoughtful anyway?" asked Naruto, noting that Jiraiya's voice had been VERY calm no matter what was going on.
"The answer to that involves adult activities you are very clearly not ready for," said Jiraiya.
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(Posted Sat, 20 Apr 2013 15:58)
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