"What?" asked Naruto. "Can't I have a FUN team? Or a balanced one. At least one that has a sense of humor?"
"Fun and humor are not requirements for the job of ninja, Naruto," Iruka reminded him.
"Can we have someone who is less of a loser on my team?" asked Sakura.
Sasuke made a face.
"I... I'll trade with Sakura," said Hinata from her desk.
"No. No substitutions, exchanges, or refunds," stated Iruka. "Team Eight. Jonin Kurenai Yuhi. Hinata Hyuga, Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame."
"Hey, Hinata, forget those losers. Our team is gonna leave 'em in the dust!" declared Kiba.
"Team Nine. Jonin Aoba Yamashiro. Tobio. Reina. Largo."
"Is this boy-girl-boy thing necessary?" asked Tobio. "Isn't it complicating a life or death situation? As a career as a ninja IS involved in such?"
"Diverse team background to handle diverse needs in a changing world," said Iruka. "Or some other garbage along those lines. Team Ten. Jonin Asuma Sarutobi. Shikamaru Nara, Ino Yamanaka, and Choji Akimichi."
"As predicted, how troublesome," said Shikamaru.
"Good luck, some of you need it more than others," said Iruka.
"Uhm, Hokage-sama?"
"Naruto, you calling me by my title means you are really in trouble, or something's really wrong."
"How much of what I can really do should I show my team? I mean, I AM a genin if I pass this test tomorrow," noted Naruto.
"Ah, that's the trick then," noted the Hokage. "You have to judge such things on your own. No matter what happens tomorrow, none of your team is very likely to be in any physical danger."
Naruto slumped a little as he worked it through. "If we fail, we won't be a team. So I have to keep hiding everything and can't cut loose. Damn it."
Kakashi Hatake had given the speech, watched things play out, and was a little surprised at how much Naruto acted the idiot.
Oh, it was in the ANBU files. As a frequent Captain among that elite - he had access to special encoded files and he HAD taken a moment to go over those. Mainly because the Hokage had dropped a reference to such in their last meeting.
Sakura Haruno: had the "Exactly What It Says On The Tin" notation. Which basically meant that she had no underneath to look underneath, other than a possible second personality. Not that this was anything too special - many accomplished ninja developed a "combat persona" and a "civilian persona" in order to deal with the particular stresses of their lifestyle.
Sasuke Uchiha: Had more red flags than a cross-country relay race. If there had been a clan head to inform, Sasuke would have been brought up as someone who needed some counseling and psychological treatment. One note indicated he was like a buried pile of explosive tags - something could set him off down the road that would make things VERY messy.
Naruto Uzumaki: Wore an idiot mask. Wasn't an idiot. Had people who dismissed him as being an idiot and likely to get himself killed, but otherwise might actually be stirred to do something nasty to the boy. Kakashi had seen several names listed. He was going to have to stop going to that one pastry shop as a result. Was also apparently more than ready to become a full genin and stop hiding everything about the "real him" behind that act of his. A note in his file indicated that the stress of the dual life might cause him to break out of that role in a violent fashion at some point.
This last was a particular concern when the person in question was the jinchuriki of the Kyubi.
The persona wasn't perfect though. If, like himself, the ninja was actively looking for the slips in character they were there to be found. Not entirely unexpected in a twelve year old.
Kakashi watched and listened as Naruto attempted to get Team 7 to function as a unit.
Not that he was having much success. Sakura wanted to help Sasuke, Sasuke wanted to do everything himself, and Naruto still felt he had to be the idiot that had a crush on Sakura and despised Sasuke.
Ah, here was something.
"We don't have a chance against a jonin without teamwork and surprise and a helluva lot of luck," stated Naruto. "I'm awesome, but I'm not THAT awesome. So we got to work together and play to our strengths."
"Naruto, you're an idiot, and you don't HAVE any strengths," retorted Sakura.
Naruto hung his briefly, his shoulders shook for a moment, and then finally grunted out a "fine then" as if it had hurt him. "Fuuinjutsu."
"What about it, none of us know any-" began Sakura.
Naruto took off one of his belt pouches and then reached in. It looked really odd with it being a four inch long pouch and him sinking his arm past the elbow in it.
"-fuuinjutsu?" finished Sakura. "How?"
"Yeah, and none of us know any jonin-level techniques. Except the multiple shadow clone technique," grumbled Naruto, "which is a kinjutsu because unless you've got the chakra reserves of an Uzumaki its going to kill you from chakra exhaustion."
"What?" asked Sakura. "It's just clones, idiot."
Naruto decided right then and there that he wouldn't pull off the mask entirely, but part of what he was revealing would be that he wouldn't be flirting with Sakura. Yeah, she was cute and smart - but he had met other girls who didn't dismiss everything he did and insult him constantly.
"Uzumaki bloodline," said Naruto, pulling a large flanged mace out of his belt pouch. "High stamina, huge chakra reserves, nasty temper, and we're DAMN good at fuuinjutsu."
"But-" began Sakura, pausing. One of the pillars of her world was that Naruto was a useless and annoying idiot.
Naruto put the mace back in, then pulled out three spools of ninja wire, a pack of kunai, a package marked "Danger - Explosives", and a notebook. "Okay, if someone has a better plan, speak up. Otherwise, let's try this-"
So, Naruto has decided to show that he can do shadow clones and fuuinjutsu, but is keeping everything else hidden. Might be hope for him. Kakashi nodded as the three began whispering out their plan to bring him down.
It wouldn't work of course. They didn't have anything which could beat him but that wasn't the point was it?
"So how do we pass this?" asked Kiba.
"She's a genjutsu expert," said Hinata. "She has three up every time we've seen her."
"My kikai insects are not fooled by genjutsu," said Shino.
"No, they are not," agreed Hinata. "They are, however, repulsed by a scent that she's applied. You can direct them past that, if you are able to get past the genjutsu she's using yourself."
"THREE?" asked Kiba. "You can layer genjutsu?"
"To some limited extent," said Hinata. "Major genjutsu are too complicated, but small ones can be linked. My Byakugan can see through genjutsu, but I cannot move fast enough to catch up with her when I try to attack."
"So what are the three she is using?" asked Shino.
"Can't tell, not completely," said Hinata. "My Byakugan shows the chakra constructs and allows me to break their effect on me, but I can only guess as to the effects unless I allow them to affect me. As a guess based on your reactions: displacement, disguise, and a disruptive one. Kiba and Akamaru seem more confused when they get close to her position."
"Well, point her out and I'll take her down next time," promised Kiba.
"No, Kiba-san," said Hinata. "She's a genjutsu expert. If you go directly up against her, she can convince you that you're a six year old civilian girl and that Akamaru's your pet cat."
"What?" asked Kiba.
"Not only is she familiar with psychology, she's friends with Anko Mitarashi," said Hinata, shrugging slightly. "When I found out she was our jonin, I researched. And Anko Mitarashi is known for being a sadist who enjoys breaking people. I'm not sure how much influence Mitarashi-san has on Yuhi-sensei, but what I found made fascinating if terrifying reading."
"She can't be THAT bad," said Kiba.
"Your mother finds Mitarashi to be someone to actively avoid," said Hinata. "SHE referred to Mitarashi as a 'sadistic loon' in the notes of a mission report."
"Okay," admitted Kiba. "THAT is bad. Still, our sensei only associates with this 'Mitarashi' gal. Doesn't mean she's picked up bad habits. Come on - convince me I'm a civilian girl?"
"I wouldn't do that to a genin-candidate," said a faintly amused voice. "I did that to a missing-nin trying to infiltrate the village though. How did you find that out?"
"I'm a Hyuga," said Hinata, reaching out to slap at the empty air. "Now Shino!"
Kikai insects flooded the area until there was a brief flash and they suddenly lost interest.
"Not bad," said Kurenai Yuhi as she solidified into view on a nearby tree. "I didn't expect you to be able to turn on your Byakugan without hand-signs."
"It is more difficult, but not impossible," said Hinata. "So, do we pass?"
Kakashi Hatake was appropriately horrified.
"Come on, hurry up! I'm applying direct pressure," yelled Naruto, clutching Sakura's bloody stump. "Come on, Sakura! You can make it!"
"Hnn," indicated Sasuke, glaring at their jonin. "If only she hadn't-"
Kakashi had half-expected something like this to happen. It was bound to happen sooner or later after all. Kid rushing forward with lit explosive tag trips on rock. Boom.
Then the moment passed and he started noticing a few details. So instead of rushing in and trying to save the girl's life he did something unexpected.
He began clapping. "Oh. That was very nice. Very well done. If I'd actually been half-asleep or something that might have fooled me."
"What? You're going to let her die?" asked Naruto, looking shocked.
"No, but this is actually a half-way clever idea," said Kakashi. "How did you rig the explosion to not actually injure her?"
"Well, I-" began Naruto.
Kunai shot past Kakashi, nearly invisible ninja wire unreeling behind them so that he was at the center of a web.
"Oh?" said Kakashi, unconcerned. A two-stage trap? Use the one as the distraction to lay the other and then if 'Plan A' fails switch to 'Plan B'? Not bad for fresh out of the Academy, but they're almost completely out of time.
tinkle!
Kakashi blinked, seeing an empty spot at his belt and Sakura with two bells. Except he could still feel the weight at his belt and the obvious genjutsu was kind of obvious. Put a big checkmark on the records saying that Naruto's genjutsu skills being sloppy as hell. Oh well, time to fail them. Some promise there though, they DID manage to coordinate somewhat.
As Naruto and Sasuke (he'd figured out who had been responsible for the kunai and wire trick and that the Sasuke he'd seen had been one of Naruto's shadow clones) had cooperated and might have actually caught a chunin with that - they had lunches. Sakura, on the other hand, had been the least active and was tied to a post.
Naruto offering some of his meal could have just been the crush reported in the Academy records. Sasuke giving in a moment later and offering some of his own couldn't be dismissed so easily.
Ah well, there goes those high paying S-class and A-class missions for awhile at least.
"All right! A mission! Our first mission as a team!" enthused Naruto. "Is it going to be suitably awesome and an indication of the expectations of the village for our future?"
Sakura and Sasuke glanced at Naruto, both a bit puzzled by him phrasing things like that. Well, that and his tone had been completely flat and without enthusiasm.
"You've done work with filing before, so you know what a D-Rank Mission is like," noted Kakashi aloud.
Naruto nodded. "Well, at least it pays the bills."
"That it does," said Kakashi. "Today's mission is part of the Keep Konoha Clean campaign. Trash pickup along the river."
"Uhm, that's a typical D-Rank mission?" asked Sakura, glancing at Naruto who seemed to know more about this than she did. He was keeping her completely off-balance with things like this. "Like D-Rank techniques are the least powerful ninjutsu?"
"Yeah," answered Naruto, leaning against a wall and looking bored. "And D-Ranks have the least danger and the least pay. They're referred to as 'scutwork' by some. They're supposed to help teach teamwork and how to coordinate efforts, at least according to the official stuff."
"They're also things needed done locally, and can be useful for training," added Kakashi.
"Trash pickup," said Naruto thoughtfully. "Hmmm. How can we make this interesting?"
"Why do I have a feeling this is going to blow up somehow?" asked Sakura.
"Because you've noticed how much Naruto likes explosions?" responded Sasuke, thinking the whole thing troublesome.
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(Posted Tue, 29 Oct 2013 04:20)
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