In for a penny, in for a pound. "Sounds good to me." Akane grinned, she'd call this bimbo's bluff!
"You is serious," pressed Shampoo. "Be honest now."
"Yeah," said Akane, calling the Amazon's bluff. Though the new intensity was a little concerning. "Dating you BOTH sounds lots of fun! What's the matter? Chicken?"
"No. Shampoo turn to cat, not chicken." Shampoo regarded Akane and then smiled. "Shampoo be back very soon. Akane go be with family. Bie bie!"
"What a weirdo," said Akane after watching Shampoo seem to relax and then go bouncing off. Still, she'd obviously won this little confrontation.
They (the "they" in this case being Ranma, Kasumi, Akane, Nabiki, Soun, and Genma) had just settled down to a meal when it became obvious that...
"What do you mean you didn't fix anything, Kasumi?" Nabiki wondered if this was a cruel joke being played on her. Though she was quieter and more polite, not to mention more of a constant grazer than a sprint inhaler, she enjoyed eating to an extent rivaling the two Saotomes.
"I received a call from the Cat Cafe, apparently they're bringing over a celebratory feast for some reason," said Kasumi with a happy little smile.
"Celebratory feast..." mused Soun briefly. "SAOTOME!" He raged at his old friend.
"RANMA!" Genma raged at the redheaded girl.
"I don't know nothing!" Ranma protested.
"Oh ho ho ho, there you all are," Cologne said, somehow pogosticking into the backyard with a full cart. Moving extremely fast, she began unloading bowls and platters and pitchers - all filled to near overflowing.
"What the heck is this," said Ranma, though she was a little less polite.
"Here you go, son-in-law," Cologne said, handing Ranma a pill. "No hard feelings?"
"What's this?" Ranma said with a scowl.
"Why, that's the cure for the Full Body Cat Tongue. Please forgive me, I thought you meant to jilt Shampoo, destroy her personal honor and standing with the tribe, scoff our tribal laws, and otherwise be a nuisance. Who could have guessed that Miss Tendo here would be so progressive?"
"Huh?!" This was almost universal, only the Amazons and Kasumi abstaining.
Ranma took the pill, splashed himself with hot water, and was even further confused when it worked as advertised. "Akane, did you say something to Shampoo?"
Akane frowned. They were taking this joke a little far.
"Oh, just moment please," said Shampoo. She grabbed Akane and gave a passionate kiss that practically caused Akane to swoon right there from pressure.
"That was not the Kiss of Death," noted Ranma, beginning to go into shock.
"Well done, great granddaughter," proclaimed Cologne. "Now that Akane has been inducted into the Amazon tribe along with Ranma, there's no reason at all for us to be at odds."
"Huh?" Akane said, her mind currently putting up a big sign that read [Tilt].
"Once Akane proclaimed that she wouldn't mind having Shampoo as a co-wife, well," Cologne chuckled. "It changed the entire situation, you see. Please be gentle with my great granddaughter. She really does prefer men and so may be a little reticient to sharing Akane's bed."
Shampoo nodded, but held Akane's hand as was proper. "Akane have much spirit. Will now have to train her to bring her up to standards. She be much much much better martial artist when Shampoo and Great-Grandmama be done!"
Some staring, this time directed at Akane.
"Wow, sis, I didn't know you had it in you," said Nabiki admiringly. That sort of generosity? Well, she'd always suspected about Akane hating boys meaning certain other things.
"I might have said something like that," said Akane, desperately trying to remember the exact wording she'd used.
"I just love win-win scenarios," said Cologne. "Shampoo gets her love, Akane gets her love, the two get an understanding co-wife, you get your way with this 'unite the two schools' thing you were blathering on about, Shampoo doesn't have to face death or permanent exile to redeem her honor. Everyone's happy."
Ranma blinked, something of that penetrating the shock. "Did you say 'death'?"
"Well of course, son-in-law," said a slightly exasperated Cologne. "Failing the tribe and diminishing her family honor once caused her to be punished at Jusenkyo, what do you think a second such failure would entail?"
There was dead silence at the table for a moment.
"This is very good," commented Kasumi as she tried a noodle dish. "Is this shrimp?"
"Yes it is," agreed Cologne, beaming happily at everyone.
"Why not mention this before?" Nabiki asked, making sure her own plate was full and well protected from Genma's dancing chopstick manuever.
"Because you were all outside the tribe," mentioned Cologne. "Now with Akane inducted into the tribe, we can speak more freely. Eat up, the noodles are getting cold."
"b-b-but," said Akane.
(Posted Sun, 02 Feb 2003 22:11)
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