"Read?" asked Dumbledore. "What exactly are you reading?"
"I was having a nice chat with that Jiraiya fellow yesterday before the ceremony, I mentioned how boring it tends to be when I'm just thrown into a cupboard for months at a time. He tossed a couple of books into me that he'd written. Nice fellow."
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "He wrote books? Well now. I might have to take a look myself at those later. I'll leave the cupboard open a crack so you've some light."
"Greetings," said Jiraiya, sitting down at the edge of his desk and observing the class. "Welcome to 'Defense Against The Dark Arts 101' - I am Jiraiya, called by some 'The Gallant'. Any questions before we begin?"
"Yes, actually, all the paperwork we had showed a Professor Quirrell as being the teacher?" said a student.
"Oh? Herumionei Guranjure is it?" asked Jiraiya after checking a seating arrangement. Handy thing that, as soon as a student sat down - their name popped up on the paper. He'd have to find out what kind of fuuinjutsu was involved. So much to investigate!
"Hermione Granger sir," corrected the girl amongst giggles and snorts from some of her classmates.
"Still a few bugs in the translation effect," noted Jiraiya. "Well, Professor Quirrell suffered from a little run-in with the Dark Arts that he really needed better Defenses against. He's now dealing with the consequences of that and most likely will not return to teaching here."
"Oh," said Hermione.
"It's the DADA-curse," muttered one of the other students. Jiraiya glanced at the seating arrangement and noted it was the "Neville Longbottom" that he'd heard Snape mutter something uncomplimentary about.
"Actually," said Jiraiya aloud, "it's a quite understandable danger. As the course is about defending against hostile magic, you're pretty much a target of first choice FOR hostile magic. They'd want you out of the way before going after the easier targets."
"That. That actually makes sense," muttered another student that Jiraiya didn't bother to look up.
"So, don't throw away your books, we'll get to them in time," instructed Jiraiya. "Now, open question. What is the best defense against a powerful jutsu or spell being used against you?"
"Protego!" said Hermione.
"Finite Incantatem?" asked Neville.
"Stupefy," said Draco Malfoy.
"Good answers, but not the one I was looking for," said Jiraiya. "The best defense is not being where the attack is going. Avoidance should be your first instinct. Avoid the attack, giving yourself time to ascertain what the situation is, then plan what countermeasure to take. If you can completely avoid combat - great. Sometimes you can't though."
"Excuse me, Professor," said the one the seating sheet identified as Draco Malfoy. "What exactly are YOUR credentials in knowing about Dark Arts?"
"You challenging me?" asked Jiraiya, apparently cleaning one ear with a pinky.
"I heard you don't even have a wand," noted Draco, standing up and trying to assess this teacher.
"That so?" said Jiraiya, who then vanished.
"What?" asked Draco, who then squeaked like a little girly mouse when a hand came down on his shoulder from behind him.
"You lose," said Jiraiya. "In a real fight, magical or otherwise, this would be over. If your first move is to pull out and brandish your wand, that's the amount of time your opponent has to finish you off before you can ready a defense. If that enemy is using a wand - it is already out. If it's an innate ability - like an acromantula's speed and poison bite, then it may already be too late for you to respond. At which point I hope one of your friends has an anti-poison charm. Understood?"
"Yes sir," managed Draco.
"I didn't even see him move!" said one of the students.
"Understand that in my homeland I've survived a war of what you'd call wizards," said Jiraiya, moving back to the desk. "A war without front lines, without rules of combat. A war where anyone or anything could be an enemy under a disguise or camouflage. Your ally today could be your enemy tomorrow, though the reverse could also be true. I saw many promising 'wizards' and 'witches' die, their family lines dying out with them. I've seen the carrion crows coming down to feed on fields sown with human corpses and watered with blood."
There were a few shudders and a couple of the kunoichi, Jiraiya mentally corrected himself to 'witches', looked a bit pale. Good. If there were the equivalent of missing-nin and rogues they'd be more likely to survive with a bit of caution.
"How many?" asked Neville Longbottom, looking a bit pale himself.
"In the last war, the Third Shinobi World War, I myself only killed about two hundred enemy combatants," said Jiraiya. "My team-mate at the time killed over three times that. It's almost two generations later and the numbers of active personnel is still less than half what it used to be."
"'Shinobi'? Then you're with that kid who walks on ceilings?" asked a redhead. Ah, the seating chart said he was a "Ron Weasley" then.
"He's my apprentice," said Jiraiya. "I knew his parents. Both of whom died the day he was born."
"The war?" asked Ron, swallowing nervously as this brought the whole mass-dying-off thing home.
"Not quite," said Jiraiya. "Though possibly related. Naruto is admittedly a loudmouthed, overconfident, sometimes completely exasperating student. Takes after his mother like that. I expect him to be extremely powerful eventually. Like his mother and father."
"If they were so powerful, and they knew your teachings, how come they still died?" That was that Draco Malfoy kid. Give him points for not still being intimidated at least.
"Because, Draco Malfoy," said Jiraiya, meeting the young boy's gaze. "People die. Everyone does at some point. There are enemies that will wait until you are at your weakest, when you are overwhelmed by other concerns - and they will move with overwhelming force to strike you down. THAT is the environment that both I and Naruto come from. Any more questions about why I think I'm qualified to teach you about surviving?"
Draco seemed a bit subdued, seeing something in those eyes regarding him.
"So, Naruto Uzumaki lost his parents to someone using Dark Arts," muttered the person the seating chart had labelled as "Harry Potter" - oh THAT kid. "Was he marked by the event as well?"
"Yes, you could definitely say that," agreed Jiraiya softly. "He carries his own burden from that day, and it's a heavy one that only he can bear. And it was his resolve to protect others, to protect his 'precious people' - that got me to agree to take him as an apprentice. Now, I think it's time we went over the most basic defensive measures. Try to be aware of your environment at all times. If you needed to take shelter right now, an enemy throwing fireballs at you for example, what would you do?"
Naruto noticed the redhead watching him. "So, you know something about 'ninja'?"
"Just what I've seen in some anime series," said Susan Bones.
"Ah-Ni-Mei?" asked Naruto.
"Ah, it's a Japanese artform that gets exported like sushi and ramen," said Susan. "Not all wizards attend non-magical schools but I did prior to coming here. There was a club a friend of mine was in. Her mother was into it too. Cosplayer even, if you can believe it."
"Uhm, right," said Naruto, clearly lost in the terms that didn't translate.
"I saw the Ninja Scroll movie, a bit messy for my tastes," said Susan. "But I'm told not all their series are nearly so bad."
"I think I'd like to see that," said Naruto, figuring the movie probably dealt with fuuinjutsu.
"Can't do it here, no muggle technology works at Hogwarts, part of the defensive spells they've got going," said Susan. "I've been wondering how they keep from showing up on satellites though. I expect it'll be a problem in a few years."
"So where could I see this annie-stuff?" asked Naruto, more curious now that it was apparently forbidden.
"Well, Hogsmeade might be safe, that's nearby and when we have a holiday we can go down there," said Susan. "If not there, you'd have to wait for the end of school year-"
Naruto straightened up as the teacher arrived. It was that one guy from earlier.
"Uzumaki," said Professor Snape. "Know that your being a transfer student from very far abroad will not grant you any special treatment. Try to keep up."
"Right," said Naruto.
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(Posted Thu, 10 Oct 2013 17:11)
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