"What is important enough that you scheduled this a week ago, and now come with the top three members of your clan?" asked Ay. "I have just come from the front."
"You have faced the Yellow Flash," said the clan head.
"I wasn't aware you had access to such intel," stated Ay.
"The Kumoyotogi clan has long had a summoning contract," stated the clan head.
"Yes," said Ay, beginning to lose patience. "I know of your summoning contract with the ducks. They are not very useful for combat."
"A week ago they came into some information from the sloths and put it together with information spied out from the toads," said the clan head of the Kumoyotogi. "The Yellow Flash will have a son."
"So?" asked Ay. "He is a formidable fighter. Going after an unborn child might give us a momentary advantage, but it is unlikely to weaken his village." That was the bottom line after all - either weakening another village or strengthening his own or both.
"There is a prophesy from the toads, and from what the sloth prophet has written - it is the son that will be of special interest," said the clan head.
"Bah, prophesy," said Onoki. "Prophesy isn't worth the price of the parchment it is printed on. Mystical mumbo-jumbo. And it's always in vague terms."
"The son of the Yellow Flash will save the world from becoming the slaves of a master technique from a Sharingan-wielder currently believed dead," said the old man. He paused before adding more. "The moles are supreme spies and information gatherers."
Onoki blinked.
"Child's going to have some learning disabilities and be attention starved. Look for his birth happening in the midst of a major disaster hitting Konohagakure." The older man checked his notes. "Giant monster rampage, instigated by the enemy mentioned earlier. Oh, and watch out for a flower pot on your way out."
"Idiot!" said Onoki, throwing open the patio door. "Like I said. Mystical nonsense to fool the gullible."
"That's what the moles told me," said the old man.
Onoki stepped up to the railing, looking out over the village. "I don't even see a flower-"
CRASH!
The old man slowly got up and hobbled over to where the village leader was laying sprawled out over the patio, shattered clay surrounding him. A single clod of dirt with a large flower remained poised atop his head. "Tsuchikage?"
"Don't say one word more," mumbled Onoki.
Minato Namikaze blinked and turned to Kushina. "You-"
"Are pregnant," finished Kushina Uzumaki. "I told you two days ago."
"And these letters arrived today," said Minato.
"Addressed to the Fourth Hokage," said Kushina, flipping one onto the desk. "The Yellow Flash." Another envelope landed atop the first. "Minato Namikaze." A third landed atop the other two but slid off.
"They've been checked?" asked Minato.
"For poison, fuuinjutsu, and chemical explosives."
"Ah," said Minato, sliding the first one out and looking it over. Then re-reading it. Finally he looked up at his wife, looking confused. "Are you sure there's not a genjutsu or something?"
"Yes, I'm sure. No, there isn't," said Kushina.
Minato seized on a possible explanation. "Maybe Sarutobi knows something about this?"
"This has never happened that I've ever heard about," admitted the Third Hokage to the Fourth. "The date these were written was BEFORE you found out about the pregnancy?"
"The one from Demon Country I can understand," said Kushina, holding one of the letters up. "The priestess there is said to have great spiritual powers. She might have foreseen something. This was written over a month ago too."
"Postal service in and out of some countries is slower than others," noted Hiruzen Sarutobi.
"That doesn't explain half of this," stated Minato.
"Any ideas at all?" asked Kushina. "The idea of engaging a couple to ensure peace between countries? It's not unheard of, of course. Lady Mito was engaged to further cement relations between the Uzumaki and Senju clans after all."
"They're going to be disappointed if the child is a girl," noted the Third Hokage.
"Well, we can't accept ALL of them," said Kushina.
"I wasn't going to accept ANY of them," said Minato. "Can we just pretend that there was some courier mishap and they were all lost?"
"Mail for you Hokage-sama!" declared a chunin, bringing in a box full of letters.
"Hyuga Clan?" asked Kushina, pulling one out of the stack. "What is this?!"
"Here's one from the Uchiha Clan," said Minato, twitching slightly. He'd butted heads with Fugaku Uchiha a few times. Mikoto would support anything her husband did, in public. In private - Mikoto Uchiha was the sort who probably raised hell over things she disagreed with.
"Great," said Kushina. "If she IS a girl, Mikoto is expecting a boy."
"Why is that 'great'?" asked Minato.
"Because it's fair that way," answered Kushina.
"How is that 'fair'?" asked Minato, a bit overwhelmed by the mound of letters now decorating his desk.
"Minato, there are things you will have to argue with your wife about. There are things you are better off dropping." The Third Hokage sounded amused. "This is the latter of the two choices."
"Where's Jiraiya?" asked Minato. "I need some sort of formal letter which politely declines these arrangements without causing offense to these groups."
"You don't want to outright deny these, you want to phrase it in such a way that it can be taken as something other than a straight denial," said Jiraiya. "Something to leave ways for either party to back out later."
"And that you could write several novels on the possible ways this can become an utter clusterdump is besides the point," said Minato.
"Well, yes. When the child is in the teenage years? Great Pumpkin - this could become an entire SERIES of novels," said Jiraiya. "Though I have high hopes for my 'Gutsy Ninja' novel. I really put my heart into that one."
"Be sure to get me a copy," said Minato. "Can you come up with a letter that does that?"
"So you heard about it because of the Hyuga Clan responding and THEY apparently noticed all the mail and someone was curious enough to see what all the fuss was about?" asked Kushina Uzumaki.
"Couriers from other countries arriving at odd hours, so yes," said Mikoto Uchiha. "We ARE the bulk of the Konoha Military Police - so when something is going on that is causing people to scurry about - we were interested."
"Not only spies from other countries but spies from our own village," said Kushina. She shook her head. "I still don't see why everyone is so interested in a child that hasn't even been born yet."
"THAT part I'm not sure of myself," admitted Mikoto.
"I wonder how many of those writing these things are doing so simply because someone else is doing it," mused Kushina. "Thinking that so-and-so must know something and therefore they have to get their own bid in."
"Sort of like the auctions in Tangaku where you get into a bidding war and end up with an overpriced clock that looks like a hula dancer?" asked Mikoto. "Don't look at me like that. Fugaku brought one home after a mission. It happens."
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(Posted Fri, 23 Jan 2015 03:55)
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