"This is it," said Shizune. The school nurse had stopped before an old tapestry depicting a shrine maiden and a raccoon sleeping on the steps of a temple.
"Wha?" asked the shrine maiden as she stretched as consulted a pocket watch. "Oh goodness. It's been decades again."
"Sorry, Pocky. New student sorted into Kitsune House," said Shizune.
"Right," said the shrine maiden in the tapestry. "Okay. Wake up, Rocky."
"It's just one kid, handle it yerself," complained the raccoon. "I could use another nap. Wake me in thirty years or so."
The shrine maiden grabbed an ear and hauled the raccoon to its feet. There was much fussing, some insults, and the scene was only stopped when Shizune gave a piercing whistle.
"Oh right," said Pocky. She and the raccoon stepped off to the side.
Shizune waited for a moment before she just picked the boy up and threw him at the tapestry.
After the ripples in the tapestry had ceased, Pocky shook her head sadly. "That is not a very promising beginning."
Naruto fell from the ceiling, bounced off the sofa, landed on a carpet, and windmilled his arms briefly to keep from falling over. "Hah. Nailed it."
"Nailed what?" asked a voice nearby.
"Huh?!" asked Naruto, looking around. A large white-haired man waved one hand briefly from where he was lying in front of the television.
"I'm the proctor for Kitsune House. It's a retirement position basically." The old man yawned noisily. "So we got someone actually sorted into Kitsune. Don't disturb me in my studies and do your homework and your own studies."
"Oh, uhm, I'm-" began Naruto.
"Did I ask?" Another noisy yawn. "Did they explain about House Points?"
"No," admitted Naruto.
"Figures. Sarutobi's been trying to delegate and nobody else wants to step forward. Name's Jiraiya, by the way. Look, the whole House Point thing is an old attempt to get the Houses to compete against each other. It's just a big crock though. Yippee-ta-doo. You get to decorate the grand hall in the House colors and a couple of other worthless perks. Seiryu usually doesn't bother - they just want the highest grade-point-average and don't care about the sports or other angles. Genbu generally drops out. Byakko and Suzuku though - they take the whole House Point system way too damn seriously."
"There are wizard sports?" asked Naruto.
"Yeah. Most of 'em make damn little sense though," said Jiraiya. "None of them are gonna matter once you graduate. And the rules - sweet Merlin. You'll end up wondering what kind of funny herbs were involved when they came up with that crap."
"I dunno, some of the non-wizardy sports can be like that," said Naruto.
"Your room is at the end of the hall to the right." Jiraiya stopped to scratch his butt briefly before continuing. "Don't try and get the magic mirror to do your homework. Memorize your class schedule. No teleporting or flying indoors. Try not to get your instructors snarked off at you. Watch out for enchanted beasts - doesn't mean that some won't be friendly if you're willing to be friendly - but some will fake it in order to hurt you more later on."
"Is it worth it?" asked Naruto. He startled a little when he realized that the old man had rolled over a bit in order to actually look at him for the first time since he'd arrived.
"In some cases - yes, definitely," said Jiraiya.
"ARGH!" said Naruto, feet sliding as he landed in the classroom and looked wildly around. "Nobody told me the stairs changed! Nobody told me that gravity was reversed in Hall A! Nobody told me that... the teacher isn't here?"
The various students all glanced at Naruto then back to their papers as they copied down notes from the blackboard.
"Oh, thank kami, I was afraid the teacher'd do something completely unnatural to me if I was late for the first day of class," said Naruto as he looked for an empty seat.
"Well, Mister Uzumaki," began a voice.
"EEP!"
Suzume paused before she adjusted her glasses. "If you weren't alone in Kitsune House I'd suggest turning you into a map so you could find your way here sooner."
Naruto was about to protest that the proctor was there, but then realized he might end up getting turned into a map - so decided not to correct the teacher at this point.
"Five points from Kitsune House," said the teacher. "Take your seat, Mister Uzumaki."
"Mister Uzumaki. Is there a reason your cauldron is melting?"
"Uhm, the flame's too hot?"
"No, Mister Uzumaki. Your cauldron is made of plastic. Why is your cauldron made of plastic?"
"Uhm, that spiky-haired guy with the eyepatch and mask bought it," pointed out Naruto.
"Kakashi Hatake? Hmph. He was probably reading one of those books again. Never mind, Mister Uzumaki. Just get that out of the room before it stinks up the classroom even worse."
"Chakra is a mix of physical and spiritual energies, the ability to make use of it is what makes a wizard - a wizard," said their teacher, the man with a scar across his face lectured them. "Those without much chakra are 'muggles' or 'mundanes' or 'norms' depending on where you come from. Some non-wizard people have a minor amount of chakra, but can't mix enough to do spells. What do we call such people?"
"Weak," offered Kiba.
"Talents, sensei," said Sakura.
"Correct, Sakura," said Iruka Umino. "Psychics, or Talents, or something along those lines. Usually they've got one or two ways to manifest those abilities - like seeing ghosts or feeling spiritual presences. Anyone else?"
"Most enchanted beasts, magical creatures, and familiars," said Kiba. "Hello? Obvious!"
"Okay, and how do wizards USE that chakra?" asked Iruka. "Since all of this is so obvious to you, Mister Inuzuka?"
"Natural talent," shot back Kiba.
"Pity you don't have any," shot back Ino.
"More than you," replied Kiba to Ino.
"I was actually looking for a more detailed answer," cut in Iruka. "Naruto?"
"Uhm, pass?" tried Naruto.
"Anyone else?" asked Iruka.
"Wizards use words and hand-seals, often a focus as well, to shape their chakra into patterns that produce a specific result," said Sakura. "These are called 'spells' - there are other methods of using chakra but this is the primary difference between a wizard and other magic-wielders."
"Better," said Iruka, nodding at the student. "Now, spells fall into several categories."
"Welcome, welcome," said a large man. "Here we study creatures of all sorts. Does anyone know the difference between an Enchanted Beast, a Monster, and Magical Species?"
"Enchanted Beasts are like Akamaru here," answered Kiba. "Magic has affected their line for lotsa generations, so when Akamaru gets older - he'll be able to speak and he'll get bigger than regular dogs and he'll live about twenty to thirty years longer than a regular dog."
"Arf," added Akamaru.
"Wow, that's awesome," commented Naruto, immediately earning him a few points from both Kiba and Akamaru.
"Lame," stage-muttered Sasuke.
"Right," said the large teacher. "Well, my name is Daikoku Funeno. Here we study the lore of creatures benign and malign. Some are deadly, some are dangerous, and some are of great use to the wizarding world."
"When will we study Veela?" asked one of Sasuke's followers, pointedly looking at one particular girl.
"That's a fourth year subject," Daikoku informed Kasumi. "Now, eyes front. This week we're going with an easy subject. Hippogriffs!"
"Flight?" asked Naruto at lunch, passing a platter of potato pieces to his neighbor.
"You can't be a proper flying sorcerer if you can't fly," said Kiba. "However, it's a bit tricky. Not everyone does it. Some people get motion-sick easy, some people got a problem with heights. My clan usually sticks close to the ground anyway so I didn't even bother with all that swooping about and banging into stuff."
"Hmmm," began Naruto, thinking while reaching for his drink. He began spluttering a moment later.
"Yeah, that was pretty much MY reaction to 'pumpkin juice' the first time I tried it," admitted Kiba.
"That is the most revolting thing I've ever tasted," stated Naruto. He paused in consideration before continuing. "Second most thing. No. Wait. Third. Yes, definitely the third most revolting thing I've ever tasted."
"I don't think I want to know," said Kiba.
"'Pumpkin Juice' is one of those imported foods," said Sakura, a little down the aisle. "It's good for restoring chakra."
"That's just ad-hype," said Shikamaru.
"'Ad-Hype'?" asked Sakura.
Shikamaru leaned back and mumbled something about how it was all too much effort to explain.
"So you're signed up for flying lessons?" asked Hinata.
"Yeah?" asked Naruto. "Why?"
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(Posted Thu, 11 Jun 2015 16:37)
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