[Episode 27387] [Episode 27387]"OUCH!!!!"
Ranma clutched his poor victimized posterior, whirling around to face the diminutive redhead standing behind him. "What was that for?!" he yelled, glaring angrily at the partially-filled syringe held in her hands.
"I needed another sample," she shrugged, shooting him a condescending grin. Ranma was about to retort when the the smile changed, and became really malicious. "Wanna be my guinea pig?"
Cringing involuntarily, Ranma quickly shuffled back. Whoever this little girl in the lab coat was, she was putting him on edge like no one ever had before. She reminded him of a Dr. Tofu gone horribly wrong.
"Er...no thanks," Ranma quickly replied, flinching at her disappointed frown, "um...what did you need the...er...sample, for?" he ventured, not really sure he wanted to know. "You're a very interesting young man, Ranma," she replied, her smile suddenly becoming bright and perky, "tell me, how long have you been able to shapeshift?"
"Wha...who...?" Ranma stammered, taken aback, "how...how did you know?! Who are you?!"
The girl just smirked a decidedly Nabiki-ish smirk.
"I know a great deal about you, Ranma. Not that it was all that difficult to find out. A middling task, really. Far too easy for-"
"Here we go," Sasami interrupted, letting out a resigned sigh.
"...THE GREATEST SCIENTIFIC GENIUS IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!" the redhead proclaimed, striking a pose.
Ranma sweatdropped then glanced around, searching for the expected lightning bolt.
"But you can call me Washuu-chan," she added, dropping out of her pose and smiling cutely.
"Er...right..." Ranma answered slowly, "um...listen, Washuu-"
"I said Washuu-chan!" the redhead snapped indignantly, promptly stomping on his foot.
"Ow! Hey, knock it off! Fine, okay, fine, I'm sorry. I'll call you Washuu-chan," Ranma apologized, hopping up and down and nursing his injured foot. "Good!" Washuu stated primly, a faint smile hovering around her lips. Ranma stared at her disbelievingly for a second before resuming a more normal stance, half expecting her to threaten him and call him a delinquent.
"Is something the matter, Washuu?" asked a young man, coming up to one side of the glaring martial artist and the mad-scientist-in-training. "Tenchi!" Sasami squealed delightedly, running over and glomping him in a manner that looked suspiciously Amazonian in nature. Ranma raised one eyebrow. Well, he had seen Shampoo over there earlier, so maybe she was giving out lessons?
"Hi," the young man spoke warmly, turning to address Ranma, "i'm Tenchi Masaki. You must be Ranma Saotome, it's nice to finally meet you in person. You didn't really look all that good floating there in Washuu's lab, you know."
Ranma gave Tenchi the once over before relaxing the stance he had adopted, hesitantly shaking the proferred hand. "Um...likewise," Ranma replied, shooting a glance at Washuu who promptly turned away and started whistling innocently. Unfortunately, it was at this point that one of the forces of nature that constantly ruled Ranma's life decided to intervene.
"AIREN!" "RANCHAN!"
*GLOMP!*
Ranma urked loudly, staggering back under the weight of two overly-affectionate fiancees, body moving fluidly as he shifted into high Akane-alert. Sharp eyes scanned the horizon, searching for any flash of movement that might give away her position beforehand. Ears twitched erratically, straining to detect the inevitable cry that would herald her imminent arrival. His stance was loose and fluid, his mind sharp, ready to act and react with but a moment's notice. No, she wouldn't get him this time. Let Akane's mallet come...he was ready for it.
"RANMA!!!!"
*WHAM!*
He never knew what hit him.
"Ugh..." Ranma groaned, returning to consciousness for the second time that day. Blinking his eyes and peering upwards, he watched as the blurry figure in front of him slowly resolved into the smiling face of Kasumi.
"Oh my! Auntie, I think he's awake!" Kasumi called, her melodious voice tinkling. It took him a moment to realize that he was lying flat on his back on the middle of the beach, a large circular crater spread out around him. Wincing slightly and pulling himself into a sitting position, he looked up just in time to see another figure crossing over to kneel down beside him.
"Are you feeling alright, Ranma?" Nodoka asked gently, her gentle smile mimicking Kasumi's own.
"Yeah, I guess," Ranma muttered, rubbing his head, "where's Akane?"
"Washuu-chan is having a talk with her," Nodoka replied, gesturing over to where a rather shamefaced Akane was being chewed out by Washuu, Ukyo, and Shampoo. "I must confess, dear, I didn't realize that you and Akane had that kind of relationship."
"Um..." Ranma floundered, searching for a response.
"I want you to know, dear, that I don't consider it unmanly of you to experiment, but in the future you two really should try to restrict that sort of thing to the bedroom. It's unseemly to bring it out into public dear, and there's the innocent minds of young children to consider, after all," Nodoka reprimanded, glancing meaningfully at Sasami.
Ranma just sat there and wondered what the heck his mother was going on about.
"Of course, if you and Akane choose to engage in kinky sex, then you have my full support, dear," she nodded, smiled benevolently.
"Oh my!"
Ranma was seriously considering returning to unconsciousness.
"So, this is your house?" Ranma asked, turning to address Tenchi. It was several hours later and the two of them were sitting around the low table in the Masaki family's dining room, gathering to share a meal at Tenchi's request.
"Yeah," Tenchi replied, gesturing to the sparsely-furnished surroundings that made up the Masaki family dining room, "I know it's not much, but at least it keeps the rain out." Ranma nodded absentmindedly, glancing around with wide eyes. Tenchi was wrong. It was much. For a person who had spent the better part of their childhood homeless and destitute, a warm home was an infinitely desirable thing, luxurious in its simple existance. Of course, the Tendo home did a good job of filling that particular void in Ranma's life, but this place...
It was big. The sheer size of the place was nothing less than astounding. It certainly hadn't looked this big from the outside. Taking in the well-maintained tatami mats and the ornate wall-hangings, Ranma was even tempted to call it opulent. Even more surprising was the atmosphere of the place; it held all the same warmth and cheer that Ranma had always come to expect from the Tendo household. Before now, he hadn't even really realized that a house of this size could feel like a home, but considering that the bulk of his experience laid with the Kuno Mansion and the palaces of various hostile princes, his disbelief was probably well-founded.
Fortunately, the spacious surroundings were being put to good use at the moment as various friends, family members, fiancees, and acquaintances milled around, trying to make themselves comfortable. Near the table, Ryoko and Ayeka were jostling for a spot on the couch while a green-haired girl and a disturbingly familiar blonde stared at a nearby TV, the latter with a frighteningly vacant expression adorning her face. Off to one side, Genma-Panda could be seen sitting on the stairs and glaring at Nabiki, who was counting off a stack of yen in with a smug expression on her face. To another side, an open sliding shoji door revealed a contented-looking Soun and Katsuhito, who had apparently retreated to the genka for a smoke. Loud crashes and bangs coming from the kitchen suggested that Nodoka, Kasumi, Sasami, Cologne, and the various fiancees were in there working on dinner.
Akane included.
Preferring not to think about the wretched life-form that would inevitably be spawned this time, Ranma returned his attention back to Tenchi, blinking slightly as he realized that the young man had apparently turned into a short redhead.
"Something wrong?" Washuu asked, raising one eyebrow.
Ranma flinched slightly before bringing himself under control, eyes straying over to where Tenchi was now caught in a tug-of-war between Ryoko and Ayeka. With Tenchi as the rope. Ranma winced sympathetically. He could relate.
Kami, could he relate.
"Um, what's goin' on here?" Ranma asked tentatively, glancing back to Washuu.
"Did you want the meaning of life, or something more specific?" Washuu smiled impishly.
Ranma cleared his throat, covering his faux pas. Not that Ranma knew that he had made a faux pas. Or even what a faux pas was, for that matter. "Um...I guess I'm just wondering what's going on. I mean, I know I got knocked out by something, and I know ya spent three months taking care of me an' all, but...what exactly is going on here? How'd I get here? Why's there two moons...? I'm pretty sure I would have remembered if someone had added a second one."
"Ah," Washuu said, her trademark smirk rematerializing, "so....what you're saying is that you want a wonderful, amazingly-precise, and easy-to-understand explanation offered by me, the one and only great Washuu, is that it?"
Ranma sweatdropped. "Um...yeah."
"Oh, okay then," Washuu chuckled, hand flicking out and whipping out her transdimensional computer. "Well," Washuu began, not noticing Nabiki's pupils changing into yen signs in the background, "it's really quite simple. An inconveniently place paradox caused the pathways of the universes temporal currents to begin to collapse. However an unidentified force," Washuu frowned at this, "apparently intervened at the temporal nexus and redirected the current away from its external terminus, guiding it back into itself and generated a temporal feedback. The temporal terminus, seperated from the current, acted as a gravity well and pulled the current back around itself, tying the current into an infinitely repeating loop. This, naturally, resulted in the expected transdimensional dissolution, forcing the dimensional components to merge with the mainstream, resulting in a perfect ring existing outside of temporal specifications. I believe that you were near the epicentre of all this when it was happening, and the feedback from the current redirection caused you to fall into a coma. Everything else is just the result of the dimensional amalgamation," Washuu paused and took a deep breath, "...so, do you understand now?"
Crickets chirped.
"Um....not really," Ranma whispered fearfully. He didn't know what she had just said, but it sounded bad.
Washuu rolled her eyes. Honestly! What were these Earth schools teaching these kids nowadays! Of course, it might just be Mihoshi's influence. The ditzy blonde radiated idiocy to such a degree that it often times seemed to affect those around her. Washuu wasn't even quite sure that her own IQ hadn't dropped a few points since entering the room.
"Fine," she sighed, pulling up another view screen on her dimensional computer, this one showing a long green line extending out of a large black ball, "I'll try to explain this in simplistic terms. Prior to three months ago, time flowed in one direction...forward. It had a definite beginning and a definite end. The small green line your seeing represents the timestream taken as a whole, the temporal current, and large black ball represents its end; the terminus." Ranma nodded slowly, understanding without quite realizing why. "Now," Washuu continued, zooming in on the green line, "you'll see that the timestream here is actually made up of a multitude of different flows," Ranma nodded, his eyes widening slightly. The line, upon being magnified, had indeed been revealed to be composed of a multitude of finer green lines, their number far too great to possibly count.
"There are precisely 88,547 different threads represented here," Washuu continued, ignoring Ranma's sudden sweatdrop, "all arrayed around a central thread. This thread represented the origin, the timestream from which all the others split off from and merge into. This thread can also be considered as the 'home' dimension if you want. Naturally, this means that all the other non-central threads represent alternate dimensions, away and apart from the home dimension. Understand?" Ranma paused for a moment, then nodded.
Washuu cleared her throat, then paused for effect. "Now, each and every person in this room, was, as of three months ago, part of this central thread. Of course, being the 'central' thread, the influence of the other threads occasionally bled through into ours from time to time. Some of the people in our own dimension inevitably became aware of the events occuring in other, nearby dimensions. As such, the representation of such events inevitably found their way into society, expressed by way of a medium. Now, do you know what that medium is?"
Ranma shook his head.
"Manga."
Ranma facefaulted.
"Wait a minute!" Ranma grumbled, picking himself up off the ground, "Are you trying ta tell me that everything that happened in manga actually happened?!"
Washuu frowned slightly, "Well, not everything, but a lot of it did actually occur in alternate dimensions, yes."
Ranma shuddered, his mind flashing back to that ecchi Magic Knight Rayearth doujinshi Hiroshi and Daisuke had brought to school that one time. He still didn't know why that one in particular had bothered him so much.
"Anyway," Washuu continued, turning back to her viewscreen, "as I was saying, all of these dimensions existed concurrently but apart from each other," she said drawing Ranma's attention back to the diagram. "You'll also notice that all these threads end at a common point, the terminus...or at least they did until three months ago."
Ranma turned to address Washuu, not liking the feeling of dread that was suddenly welling up inside him. Wherever all this was going, it didn't sound too good. "Three months ago, a paradox, that's an inconsistency in the timestream, caused all these timestreams to start to collapse," Washuu struck a button on her console, causing the green line in the diagram to start shaking violently, its length receding into the big black ball at the end. "Here you can see the timestream collapsing into the terminus," Washuu continued, indicating the diagram, "of course, this would have led to the annihilation of everything that ever existed, in any dimension..."
Ranma tensed.
"...but something intervened."
Ranma relaxed.
"Prior to the finalization of the collapse, an unknown force," Washuu frowned again, "managed to disconnect the temporal current from the terminus and feed it back into itself, as you can see here," Washuu said, pressing another button. Ranma watched with wide eyes as the green line broke away from the black ball and curled in on itself, its end looping back to its beginning and fusing seamlessly. The newly formed hoop then seemed to pull for a second before settling into place around the black orb, encircling its mass like some sort of cosmic donut.
Off to one side, Genma-Panda had a brief fantasy about eating a cosmic donut.
"This event," Washuu continued, ignoring the drooling panda, "is known as a Time Crash."
Ranma whistled. It seemed oddly appropriate.
"Since the temporal current effectively looped back on itself, the past is now connected to the future and the future is connected to the past. As such, neither no longer has any meaning. Whatever beginning there was to time has been subsumed, and its end has been taken out of the equation. Hence, without a definite beginning or end, time cannot flow, and thus, the very definition of time no longer has any meaning."
Ranma winced. His head hurt.
"It means that nothing is predetermined anymore," Washuu summarized, noticing Ranma's pained expression, "only the Present exists now."
Ranma nodded. That made a little more sense.
"Unfortunately, that also means that we really can't predict anything," Washuu shrugged, "and besides, the side effects of the Time Crash are really the nasty part anyway."
"How so?" Ranma asked, the feeling of dread returning.
"Well," Washuu drawled, zooming in on the now circular timestream again, "why don't you take a look at this picture now and tell me what's different than what you saw before."
Ranma stared at the picture intently for a few minutes before it hit him. Before there had been exactly 88,547 distinct lines gathered around a central line.
Now there was just the central line.
"All the other...er...time....whatevers are gone?" Ranma ventured.
"Correct!" Washuu exclaimed, little cans of confetti exploding behind her, "When the Time Crash occured, the dimensions merged into one stream. Our past merged with all the possible futures, and our future merged with all our possible pasts. This reality, right now, exits on that lone thread, along with all the myriad inhabitants and events that defined all those other worlds."
Ranma's eyes bugged out, his gaze turning to level on the two moons shining brightly just outside the window.
Washuu paused for a second before continuing. When she finally did, her entire demeanor had changed. Where before it had given the impression of a rather manic crackpocket, it now bore the aire of very somber and serious young woman.
"Of course, a single reality is far too small to house so much mass," Washuu began solemnly, "so naturally, not everything made it across." She paused for a minute before continuing "a great many people, places, and things were annihilated when the dimensions collapsed."
"So many nouns...." Ranma murmured, disbelievingly.
Washuu nodded, "Of course, many of the dimensions' more prominent people and events succeeded in surviving the ensuing whiteout," Washuu frowned for a moment, "so did most of the luckier less-prominent ones. They're the ones who exist in this reality now."
Ranma paused for a moment before articulating in the most eloquent of terms:
"&@%%@!"
Washuu made a tut-tut gesture and gently removed the black censor bar from Ranma's mouth.
"So...." Ranma breathed, taking a deep shuddering breath, "...you're saying that most of everything that EVER existed was wiped out by this...Time Crash, and now all the loonies that were in those other dimensions are here now?!"
Washuu nodded, grimly.
"Great..." Ranma exhaled, "...just great...I had enough problems with idiots from one dimension coming after me, now I'm going to have to deal with idiots from ALL of them?!"
Washuu shrugged.
"Ugh," Ranma summarized.
"I doubt if everyone out there is going to be out for your blood," Washuu said, smirking, "the good came in with the bad, so to speak."
"Define good," Ranma grumped.
"Excuse me, Washuu-chan?" Kasumi interrupted (gasp!) from the doorway leading to the kitchen, "May I ask a question?" The living room had grown quiet since Washuu began her explanation, and many of the house's less-visible inhabitants had been driven to seek out the source of the sudden tranquility. Since many of the residents had, up until now, been provided with only an incomplete version of events at best, most of them had stayed to listen. Of course, even with the truth revealed, the degrees of comprehension were widely varied.
As were the attention spans.
*ZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!*
"Mihoshi! Stop snoring!" Kiyone muttered, whapping the Not-So-Galactic Police Officer on the back of the head.
The blonde immediately woke up and started crying.
"WAAAAHHH!! Kiyone!! Stop being mean to me!!!!
Mihoshi's wailing, of course, inevitably carried out onto the genka where it was promptly joined by Soun's.
"Ahem," Washuu broke in loudly, interrupting the self-pity session and turning to face Kasumi. "Yes, Ms. Tendo?"
"Um..." Kasumi faltered, wringing her apron nervously, "I didn't really understand much of what you just said, but if all of these other...dimensions?...merged like you were saying, then I was just wondering...shouldn't your computer have disappeared as well? I thought I heard Tenchi-kun say something about it existing in an alternate dimension?"
Washuu paused and shot Kasumi an appraising look, a surprised eyebrow slowly beginning its return trip back down her forehead. "Perhaps you understand more than you think, Ms. Tendo." Washuu replied, unconsciously lapsing into her professorial tone of voice and inadvertantly aging twelve years. "But Tenchi gave you an over-simplification. It exists in a subspace, a pocket dimension that exists outside of time, seperate from the timestream. In fact," she added, a thoughtful expression crossing her face, "you might want to think as this entire universe as being a pocketspace. The mechanics are very similar."
Kasumi nodded demurely, her lips twitching up into a satisfied smile.
"Say," Washuu drawled, giving Kasumi another appraising look, "would you like to help me out in my lab sometime, Ms. Tendo? I could use an assistent. My last one didn't really work out." Washuu frowned. The prospect of Kagato coming back from the dead didn't really appeal to her.
"Oh my!" Kasumi exclaimed, eyes widening and glancing around for guidance. She sweatdropped as she saw noticed Genma and Nabiki nodding their heads and mouthing the word "Yes!" at her. Yen-filled pupils were apparently a transmittable disease.
"Um, Washuu-chan," Kasumi hesitated, "can I...think about it?" she ventured.
Washuu shrugged, but nodded.
"Thank you, Washuu-chan," Kasumi exhaled, visibly relieved, "I wasn't sure I was ready to give up my position as the greatest housewife in the universe!"
And with that she left the room.
"Er...there's some other stuff you need to know," Washuu muttered, stumbling badly as she tried to recover from her facefault.
"And that is?" Nabiki responded.
"Well....it's..."
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(Posted Mon, 10 Feb 2003 05:46)
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