This was going to take some patience.
Patience wasn't going to be easy in this body.
But for a prize like Ranma, it'd be worth it.
Nabiki had been observing Ranma for some time. She had a good idea where several pitfalls were located. Nabiki adroitly drew Ranma out, getting him to talk about himself. Ranma trusted Nabiki now. They were partners, right? Ranma might have been too trusting, but he was starved for real friends.
That's the thing about lonely people. When you give them an interested listener, they often keep talking and don't recognize when they are revealing too much. And Nabiki carefully steered things so that she learned what she needed to.
No wonder that Ranma was afraid of marriage. His parents had really saddled him with a lot of misconceptions. Being violent Akane's fiancé had only reinforced the problems.
Last year, Nabiki had been required to attend a ‘Family Living’ class. The teacher’s textbook understanding of how people behave in families had actually impressed Nabiki. She’d learned a great deal, and it had helped her profit margins. But the teacher hadn’t managed to use that fancy psychology stuff to save his job as the community conspired to throw him out for teaching their kids stuff that countered the ‘common-sense’ that prevailed in the families of Furinkan high school. Nabiki explained to Ranma what marriage really was, setting him straight. "Ranma, there are a few that see marriage as no more than the way to produce an heir for the family fortune or skills. But marriage can be so much more than that. Marriage is a partnership, where the goal is to help each other be happy. The partners are best friends, and trust each other. They provide for each other’s various needs. Good spouses have to learn to think less selfishly and more about the needs of their partner as well."
"Spouses treat each other with respect and trust. Unfaithfulness, meaning having sexual relations with someone else, is just about the ultimate betrayal. It usually breaks up a marriage from the moment of discovery. And it almost always gets discovered very soon. Your mother has some silly ideas about how manly having sex with more than one lady is. Forget it, she's dead wrong. Fidelity is where it’s at."
"Neither spouse has any right to be violent with the other one. Violence is very hard to forgive, and breaks up marriages quickly. Insults are also very damaging, and should be carefully avoided. Usually an accidental insult can be sincerely apologized. But, it still shouldn’t happen often. Disagreements need to be kept civil, so that some compromise can be reached. If spouses are unhappy at each other, they both suffer. Forgiving each other and trying to be more sensitive to each other's needs is usually the answer."
"But married people can be truly happy. They have a best friend and constant companion to share their life with and help them to deal with the difficulties life throws in their way."
“My father was crushed when mother died. While he should have recovered and gotten on with life after a reasonable grieving period, you know he was happy to be married to my mother.”
******
Nabiki had listened to him! It'd been so great to talk to someone who really listened. Nabiki had heard every word and asked intelligent questions to try to understand what he was saying better. When Ukyo was 'listening' to him, she was in her own dreamland, and she wouldn't have reacted if he told her that Godzilla just walked down the street in front of her place.
And Nabiki had really helped him understand what marriage could be like. It sounded great! A true partner through thick and thin! If only he could develop such a partnership with one of his many fiancées! But that seemed pretty unlikely. Ukyo might be his best bet there, but he was pretty skeptical about how that would work.
In some ways, getting a better picture of what a happy marriage could be was depressing. It sounded like something he'd never be able to have. And it hardly solved the vicious circle of vicious women trying to claim him as their trophy mate.
(Posted Fri, 14 Feb 2003 18:41)
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