Artemis opened his eyes and saw that he was in a big soft and fluffy bed. A bed he wasn't familiar with so that excluded the possibility he was in a senshi's bedroom. The last thing he remembered was that Minako had taken him with her for a trip in town. This flying saucer appeared in the sky and landed then...
He took his head in his hands and moaned. He had a killer headache, courtesy of the weird weapon used to stun him, no doubt. He tried to remember what the aliens looked like but his mind drew a blank. First he had to... Wait a minute ! Hands !?!
He lifted the bed sheets to check. Yep, he was in human form... and naked, but that didn't matter now ! At last, he could enjoy all the fun things only humans got to do. He stood up on the bed and wooped in joy "YAHOOO !"
A soft and feminine voice echoed in the spacious bedroom "Ah, Artemis-sama ! You're awake !"
"YAAAHH !" Artemis was back under the covers in a flash "WhoareyouandwhatamIdoinghere!?"
A young woman with the kind of bouncy and perfect body her race was known for entered his field of vision, giggling cutely. Artemis' eyes boggled, she was only wearing the kind of underwear you only see in Victoria's secret catalogs "Artemis-sama, you don't remember ?"
"Er... No. Who are you ?"
The girl, who looked like a lingerie amazon version of Shinobu Maehara (i.e. older, bustier and sexier than the original), sat near Artemis on the bed and smiled "I'm private Jelbait of the 64th infantry regiment. You fell in my cleavage when you tried to distract us to allow Sailor Venus to escape" Jelbait blushed and her voice grew wistful "Ooooh... When you moved around like that, it just made me so HOT... Too bad the others had to stun you before things got interesting. Your reputation is well deserved, Artemis-sama !"
Artemis blushed and shrunk on himself "Hehehehe..." Then his mind went back to Jelbait's last phrase "What ? Reputation ? Me ?"
"Oh yes ! When our scoutship found the planet Earth, we spotted ruins on the Moon. We sent a team to investigate and one of us found these old diaries. They told us all about your exploits back in the Silver Millenium"
"What kind of... exploits are we talking about ?" Artemis swallowed. He was sure he wasn't going to like this.
"Well, these two girls who were some kind of handmaidens to the princess of Mars wrote about how you were the Pimp Daddy Supreme of the Solar System, the Ravisher of Young Maidens, the Tomcat of Venus, God's Gift to Women, the Main Man..."
"Thank you ! I get the point !" screamed Artemis. Mental note : Kill Phobos and Deimos when I get back to Earth"So where am I ? What do you want from me ?"
"You're on planet Playtex, our home ! As for why we've invited you here is because we..." *sniffle* "Don't have men !"
"What !?" Oh, dear... Did it mean what he was thinking about ?
"Don't you worry, Artemis-sama ! We'll take good care of you unlike that mean black cat Luna and those sailor senshi ! We'll cater to your every, every need !"
Artemis raised an eyebrow in interest. It had been a millenia since he got some after all "Really ?"
"Yes ! And I'll start by performing the Sacred Ritual Of Mucho Nookiedom with you ! I'm sure you'll like it !"
He was pretty sure of it too. He could enjoy the moment before trying to escape "Well, who am I to judge other cultures' traditions ?"
Jelbait beamed "Then you don't mind if my friends join us ? The diaries said you did it with many women at the same time ! Come ! Come !" At her call, other lingerie amazons entered the bedroom, sporting eager expressions. Artemis blanched "Eeep !" and moved to escape. The Naru, Mitsune, Motoko and Su lookalikes jumped on the bed and pounced on the moon cat-turned-human.
Meanwhile...
(AN : Kudos to Red Priest of the 17th order who came with the "Pimp Daddy Supreme Artemis" bit first)
See other episodes by Jamil Nate
(Posted Thu, 27 Feb 2003 21:58)
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