Author's Notes: Decided to toss in an anime that hasn't seen that much fanfiction usage, Rizelmine. It's got the same format as the scenario detailed out by the option. Besides, I really wanted to see another fic where the Sailor Senshi act like Monty Python-style Spanish Inquisition. ^_^ Neptune and Uranus in Men-in-Black suits... Heh.
"I should have known," Ranma Saotome mumbled to himself. He was upside-down, balancing himself upon his head and hands. "It was too good to be true. Stupid kami. Stupid tattoo."
The newly-empowered Will of the Universe had made a wish to straighten out his troubles with his fiancees. Several in fact. Thus he had found himself transported out of the Tendo household and into another house where he lived with his parents. Unfortunately, he wasn't the only who had moved into the new Saotome home. His new bride had moved in as well. Along with her two Papas and two Mamas.
"Ranma! Breakfast is ready!" yelled out his mother from downstairs.
"Time to face the music," Ranma grumbled. He looked at the lightning bold-shaped tattoo on his palm and wrist. "I'm leaving you alone for a while. I've already got enough of a mess to deal with right now." He had tried to fix the problem several times already. It had gotten worse and worse each time.
First, he had gotten married to someone he didn't even know was a fiancee. But he still lived with the Tendo family. It went bad very quickly. Especially since he still had his former fiancees living in the same area. Along with his rivals. Fighting broke out really quickly, and then his new wife blew up Nerima. That had hurt. A lot.
Then he tried wishing his fiancees weren't fiancees anymore; they were just friends. That way his wife wouldn't get attacked. That hadn't turned out as well as he had hoped. His normal fiancees had been replaced by new ones, worse ones in his opinion. How could he look Kasumi in the eyes, now that he had apparently married someone else besides her? It had been horrible! Especially all those memories of her and the other new girls squeezed into his head. He had never felt so guilty in his life!
He had also tried wishing a few times that his rivals weren't so bloodthirsty, that they just wanted to fight for the fun of it. That had turned out the same way as his fiancees. Very bad. He had gotten new rivals out for his head. Having to fight Dr. Tofu everyday on his way to school was tedious. But that wasn't the worst part. Some of his former rivals had become suitors. Gah! He didn't even have the curse anymore! He liked girls damnit!
After all that wishing, and all those memories and feelings shoved into him, Ranma had decided to try again at another time. He wasn't giving up! No, sir! He was just taking a break. Besides, this wasn't so bad, as arranged marriages with Hotaru Tomoe went. She was only about six or so years old, he thought. Well, whatever age it was that her body was currently. Stupid Sailor Senshi; stupid Pharaoh 90. Still, she wasn't old enough to get married yet. Not that it was stopping her though.
Ranma looked back into his room, over where a second futon was rolled up in his closet. Little Hotaru had moved herself in; she was really into the role of his future wife. She even had a marriage certificate with his signature and hers already on it, in preparation for when she comes of age. That peturbed him somewhat. He wasn't scared of his future bride; he was just concerned. His parents were of no help. His mother was all for it, for some strange reason. As for his father, the panda was happy with all the money Hotaru's guardians gave him.
Speaking of his fiancee's guardians, they were an odd bunch. Well, no, the Ghost Cat was weird. These four would have fit in just fine in his old life at Nerima. One of them was Hotaru's actual father; he apparently was a famous professor at some elevator school that he founded. He was more like a mad scientist in those TV shows, in Ranma's opinion. The other three were women; they were members of the Sailor Senshi in fact. He knew this because of his new memories. And his memories told him that if he ever made Hotaru unhappy, or even worse, cry, he was in big, big trouble. He'd be lucky to get away with just a 'sparring session' with all three of them powered up.
If they were feeling particularly sadistic, they'd call in _her_. The bunny girl. And all her friends. All her _girl_ friends. With all the Sailor Senshi in one spot, his new life went to hell. His mother would get all excited and weird, acting funny with all the girls. His father would stay out of the way, bribed by all the food the girls would bring. He'd get teased by all the girls, and they would flirt with him. That older boy that was boyfriend with the bunny girl would clap his hands together and thank the kami that it was Ranma instead of him. It was a regular circus, like his old life, except everyone was friends with each other so they would always gang up on him. If he was lucky, some monster would pop up, and he could then relieve some stress by joining the Sailor Senshi in their fight.
"Morning, Mom," replied Ranma, as he entered the dining room. He left the staircase and headed towards his seat on the table.
"Good morning, Ranma. Here's your breakfast," said Nodoka, as she placed his meal by his seat on the table. She was busy serving everyone their breakfast at the table. His father was already seated, right beside Papa Number 1, Mr. Tomoe. They were discussing some of the results of the latest professional Go games. Mama Number One, Setsuna Meioh, was reading the newspaper while sipping her tea. There was no sign of Papa Number Two, Haruka Tenoh, or Mama Number Two, Michiru Kaioh; they were probably still in bed in their room. As for Hotaru...
'Mornin', Husband!" gushed little Hotaru Tomoe. She was helping his mother serve breakfast. And she was dressed the same as well. She, too, had an apron on, just like his mother, except it was a little too big. No one had bought one for her size, but no one minded. She looked just so cute in it. Ranma just twitched each time he saw it; he did a lot of twitching in his memories, too.
With all the food set on the table, Nodoka and Hotaru sat down as well. Nodoka beside Genma; Hotaru beside Ranma. They began eating without waiting for the last two members of their household; no one ever saw them before ten o'clock anyways. As everyone else started on their breakfast, Ranma patiently let Hotaru feed him his meal. His memories told him it was better this way; if he resisted, she'd look at him with those sad, sad eyes and ask him if he didn't want to marry her anymore. He always lost that confrontation decided that he wasn't in that much in a hurry to eat anyways. With everyone smiling at the cute couple, Ranma kept telling himself that it could be worse. It really could be worse.
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(Posted Fri, 21 Mar 2003 21:23)
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