In the Tendou family, Soun was the Father. The mother, he knew intellectually, had been dead for many years, and had he been conscious and really thinking about how to use The Great Will in a positive way, he might have brought the woman back to life. Since he was experiencing the uncontrolled stream-of-consciousness in his dreams, and with weddings on the mind, something else happened.
Father, mother, children.
Nabiki and Akane were obviously the children, Soun was the father, and the person who filled the mother's role oh-so-well was... Kasumi.
Honestly, she did. Anything Ranma was able to imagine how a normal wife should do things in her household, Kasumi did them, and did them well. She very easily fit into the "mother" role/slot in Ranma's limited understanding of who a mother was and what they did. It really wasn't his fault that Ranma, even knowing intellectually that she was a daughter of the family and not the literal mother, subconsciously cast her into such a role. There was hardly any point in getting upset at him over it. After all, he'd never even met Kasumi's mother; she was just some vague concept in his mind, someone who had been here once long ago; goodness, he probably didn't even know her name!
All this was going through the mind of Kasumi Tendou, soon to be known as... er... Kasumi Tendou. She didn't think there would be a name change happening here, though she would be getting a nice piece of jewelry for her left ring finger to mark the change in her life.
Guided by the force of Ranma's dreaming mind, Kasumi now stood in a lovely western wedding gown, with lots of frills and lace, and a bouquet of white roses, probably to signify her purity, though Kasumi didn't think roses were the bouquet of choice for most brides. Ranma wasn't exactly a florist. Kasumi had, like most young girls, long held romantic dreams of her wedding day, how beautiful it would all be, and here Ranma had unintentionally and unconsciously given it to her.
The only problem was that it was her own father who was standing beside her... and he wasn't here to give the bride away.
"Oh my... I know Ranma isn't doing this intentionally, but I really don't think this is proper... at all!"
"No kidding." Nabiki groused from her position as Maid of Honor. "You think maybe when he finally wakes up, all this will get undone?"
"I'm not sure. It may be that we'll have to get him to intentionally wish things back... although Akane doesn't seem too unhappy in her present circumstance."
"So we should just play along and treat this like a stage play or something?"
"I'm not sure we have a whole lot of choice in the matter, Nabiki-chan." Kasumi said worriedly. She turned to glance at her father... who was predictably crying.
"Oh Kasumi! You look so lovely in your wedding dress! (sniff) I'm so happy I could be here to see you get married!"
"Daddy, you realise you're the groom, right?" Nabiki deadpanned.
Soun blinked, looked around, taking note of the spot he'd been placed in, then back to the worried-looking Kasumi, who stood there with her bouquet in her hands, lightly biting her lip in concern.
Whatever Soun was about to say was apparently not in Ranma's mental script for a normal, happy wedding. His daughters could almost see the mental shift in his face as something inconvenient was traded out for something else that would allow Ranma's "dream" to proceed without complications.
"Ah, it's such a relief to finally make our union official. You've been taking care of me like my wife for so many years, it only made sense to make it a fact rather than just a matter of convenience. I'll try hard to be a good husband to you, Kasumi...-chan."
Nabiki had only one thing to say to that. "Eeeeeeeew." Kasumi couldn't argue with such eloquence.
It appeared her father had been mentally 'rewritten' to make him agree to play his part in Ranma's dream. She didn't think that had happened to her yet, but it hinted that she likely would not be able to prevent this from happening herself. Her fears were confirmed when the priest began the ceremony, and she automatically turned away from her sister to face him, and was unable to interrupt the man. As an experiment, she tried to throw down the bouquet and run for the door, but neither her feet nor her hands would move as she directed them to. She was like a puppet; she had her own mind (so far, at least) but she couldn't act or speak in a way that contradicted the flow of the dream.
Likewise, when the line "does anyone know of any reason these two should not be joined?" came, Kasumi could not make her mouth move. Interruptions were not in the script spawned by Ranma's subconscious imagination. Likewise, out of the corner of her eye, she could see Nabiki almost trembling with the effort of trying to force her lips to speak. Probably more than a few members of the audience were experiencing the same problem.
Until the doors of the chapel slammed open, right on cue. "HOLD IT! I oppose this wedding!" A strong, masculine, forceful voice boomed.
Kasumi turned (Ranma's mental 'script' now allowed her to) to see, wonder of wonders, Dr. Tofu, striding in, appropriately dressed for the occasion, in a full tuxedo. He cut quite the dashing figure.
Kasumi sighed in relief. It appeared Tofu-sensei was going to interrupt the wedding, or even insist upon taking her father's place in it. Honestly, Kasumi wouldn't mind the latter much. She'd always thought well of the good doctor, though she doubted he had the sort of feelings for her that would make him do something like this without the 'cues' given by Ranma's dreaming mind. Still, it was far and away a better option than marrying her own father. After Ranma woke up, even if reality didn't automatically 'reset' to normal, they could have an annulment and there would not be any great harm done... presuming Ranma didn't remain unconscious right through the wedding night and partway into the honeymoon. Of course, that assumed Tofu-sensei actually wanted an annulment. If he desired to stay married, despite the odd way it had happened... well... she supposed she wouldn't have much to complain about. She'd had more than one late-night romantic fantasy involving the good doctor (though she tended to put off such dreams as a side effect of reading torrid romance novels before going to sleep).
However it would end up after Ranma finally awoke, Kasumi was still grateful for the interruption. Her father appeared to not only be following the enforced 'dream script' but to have been mentally altered to become an eager participant rather than a reluctant puppet. Kasumi had been frankly terrified that if she resisted the flow of the dream (where she could; some parts like the ceremony itself were strictly no-improv) she too would have her mind altered to the point where she could... be desirous of her own father. If her mind was altered to the point where she wanted this to happen, then she would truly be helpless to stop it. Not that she had many options as it stood now, of course.
Dr. Tofu strode up to the front and glowered at Soun, who stood placidly with an eyebrow raised as the furious doctor jabbed him in the chest with a finger. "How dare you Soun! How DARE you... start without me." The furious scowl became a grin, which spread to her father's lips as well. The two men laughed and embraced like brothers.
"Well, you were late, and the priest has a schedule to keep. I think everyone but Ranma is going to get married today; then he'll be free to live his own life without having to hurt anyone to do it. What kept you, Ono-kun?"
"Ah... one of the old ladies who come to my clinic had some kinda old lady health problem." Tofu waved it aside. Inwardly, Kasumi cringed. Tofu should have been able to say specifically what condition one of his patients had, or named them, if it didn't violate confidentiality. Tofu had apparently been mentally rewritten as well. Her hopes of escape were dashed.
"Well, let's not hold the good priest up any more than we have already."
The old man in the robes nodded. "Do you, Soun Tendou, take this girl Kasumi as your lawfully wedded wife, to control by crying and puppy-dog eyes, whining and being needy, as your crutch to avoid a responsible adult life?"
"I do!" Soun said eagerly. Kasumi and Nabiki nearly facefaulted. Granted, that had been about what their father did usually, but to just come right out and say it....
"And do you, Kasumi Tendou, take this man Soun as your lawfully wedded husband, to clean up after and comfort when he cries like a little baby, to do as he insists despite the fact that he's a selfish idiot and you're at least twice as smart as he is? To fill in the role of his late wife to keep him from being lonely since he's too much of a dork to go out and find a new one for himself?"
Kasumi sputtered. Nabiki was trying hard not to crack up laughing, and not quite succeeding. Most bizarre was the fact that Soun stood through this viciously honest description of himself still beaming as proudly as any man about to marry Kasumi deserved to be. Kasumi had never realised Ranma thought of her as smart. Oh nice, polite, proper, she would have expected and hoped she'd come across as. Certainly she didn't consider herself stupid, but she didn't think her intelligence was something most people made note of. That Ranma apparently had ...felt rather nice. Too bad he wasn't dreaming about marrying Kasumi himself. Truth be told, he wouldn't have been Kasumi's first choice, but considering the present alternative...
"Um... oh my... well, I suppose that's about the same as before, so I suppose it's alright." Kasumi mumbled weakly. She really wanted to refuse, but if she tried to, she might end up with her mind rewritten like them. She supposed the wording of the vow was vague enough that she had some wiggle room.
The priest turned to Tofu. "And do you, Ono Tofu, take this girl Kasumi as your lawfully wedded wife, shared with her father Soun, to have and to hold, to give the praise she doesn't get at home, to make damn sure she knows how special and wonderful a person she is... and to fulfil as many of the fantasies she talks about in her sleep loud enough that they can be heard through the wall of her bedroom that's shared with the guest room?"
Kasumi had been stunned by the first part of the vow; she was going to be married to both of them? Granted, she'd just seen Ryouga get married to 3 other girls, including her little sister, but once Tofu-sensei arrived and made nice with the groom, she'd jumped to the conclusion he was supposed to be the Best Man (and if he was the best one, why the heck was she marrying her own father?) Then she was awed and deeply moved by the second part, about how she was considered special and unappreciated. This was Ranma's dream made reality. The vows reflected how he honestly thought of her (and of her father, who he obviously didn't think quite as highly of). She'd always tried to be nice to Ranma, and help him out in the little ways available to her, but she'd never known he'd so impressed by it, or appreciated her this much.
The third and final part of the vow made Kasumi want to crawl into a hole and die. Yes she'd been aware she had romantic dreams about Tofu-sensei before, and even remembered some bits of them when she awoke, but she hadn't been aware she talked in her sleep, fairly loudly too if Ranma had heard her through the wall their rooms shared. She really really hoped that one wet dream she remembered had been quieter than some others.
"Oh I do!" Tofu said in a completely serious tone. Kasumi blushed harder.
"Good." The priest said. "Don't forget to nibble on her toes now and then. Apparently she really likes that."
"Will do, and thanks for the tip!" Tofu grinned.
Nabiki bit her lip to keep from cracking up at the choking sounds coming from her white-clad older sister. The veil over Kasumi's face was translucent, and somewhat obscured her features, but judging by the pink blur in the middle of it, Kasumi's face would have looked red as a tomato in plain sight.
"And do you, formally Kasumi Tendou, now Kasumi Tendou-Tofu... (or Tenfu, or Tofudou... I don't really get that part)" the priest fulfilling the role for Ranma's dream muttered. "Take this guy Tofu to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to nosh with and snuggle, go on romantic-type dates with and make a ton of little kids with, since I know you're gonna be an awesome mom, for as long as you both shall live?"
"I think I need to have a long, long talk with Ranma-kun when he wakes up." Kasumi muttered, though she supposed she was happy Ranma thought she'd make a good mother; certainly she had some practice under her belt.
"I'm sorry, what was that?" The priest cocked his head and frowned. "You forget your lines?"
"I do! I do!" Kasumi said quickly, not eager for any sort of 'help'.
"Then I now pronounce you man and wife and man. You can get with the smooching now, if ya wanna."
"You notice how this priest guy is talking more and more like Ranma as he goes on?" Nabiki whispered. Did that mean the priest had popped up out of Ranma's mind, or just that he was following Ranma's sloppy directions? She didn't think the priest actually was Ranma, as he was still lying unconscious on the floor, like part of the scenery. Tofu had stepped over him on his way in without even noticing.
Kasumi wasn't really listening. She was staring up into Dr. Tofu's eyes. This was (well except for a couple seriously disturbing aspects) a daydream come to life for her. Just like in her dreams and romance novels, Tofu looked warmly down at her, lifted her veil, took her still blushing face in his big hands gently, and gave her a sweet, tender, romantic kiss as the audience cheered.
Kasumi was a bit short of breath when Tofu pulled away, still smiling lovingly at her. She was a bit startled when he abruptly spun her around by her shoulders and gave her a gentle push into the arms of her other husband. The sudden switch from her fantasy to a nightmare was jarring.
This kiss was not one out of her fantasies or her (apparently vocal) dreams. Even if it hadn't been with her (ick!) father, Kasumi did not think a wedding kiss should involve tongue... or squeezing her bottom. It was, truth be told, not the first time in her life she'd felt a desire to slap her father. It was however, the first time she actually would have done so, had not the force of Ranma's dreaming mind prevented her taking such an action, or even pulling away.
"I think I'll just be sick over here in the corner." Nabiki muttered. No one paid her any attention. The audience cheered and laughed as though the raunchiness was all some joke. Nabiki had the thought to walk behind her father and kick him solidly in the nuts, insuring not only that the 'kiss' would finally stop, but also decreasing the chances of their father being too active a participant in Kasumi's wedding night. Unfortunately, her feet wouldn't move to fulfill her intent. Sarcastic comments were expected of her; interfering with the flow of Ranma's dream (was it a nightmare to him? Only he could say for certain) was not going to happen.
Finally, after far too long for either of the sisters' tastes, Soun broke the kiss and mild fondling. Kasumi gasped and panted, though from the miserable expression on her face and how fast she wiped her mouth on her sleeve, Nabiki doubted it was passion that had her short of breath.
Soun grinned big. "On to the wedding night! Maybe I'll finally get a son this time!"
Tofu came up to stand on the other side of Kasumi. "Oh, I wouldn't mind a sweet little girl, personally."
Soun seemed to consider that. "Well alright. You give her a girl, and I'll make a boy."
"I... don't think it works that way." Kasumi muttered.
"Actually Sis, if all this is being controlled by Ranma's dream, he can probably influence the gender of your kids pretty easily; if you conceive them before he wakes up, they'll probably be whatever Ranma thinks they ought to be. You might even get non-identical twins by different fathers, just because Ranma doesn't know that should be impossible." Nabiki mused. Probably whichever child her father sired wouldn't end up deformed or autistic for the same reasons of Ranma's ignorance; probably the only high-point to this whole twisted scenario... but judging from the sick look on her older sister's face, Nabiki had said more than she wanted to hear already.
Kasumi glanced at her father and trembled as both men took one of her arms and began to lead her down the aisle, out of the dojo and back to the house, to the applause of the audience. She had her dream on one arm, a nightmare on the other. She was in hell.
"Nabiki... help me!" Kasumi whimpered over her shoulder.
"Uh..."
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(Posted Sun, 20 Aug 2006 22:27)
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