Missing Persons: A harem for the King of Cretins [Episode 38585]

by Jamil Nate

At first, Xander had been happy to find his friends again. Now that the Scooby Gang was more or less complete, they could go kick this evil overlord wannabe's butt. Then he noticed the adoring stares the girls were sending him. He gulped and took a step back. He was suddenly having flashbacks of a certain Valentine's Day where something similar had happened.

And so Xander Harris the Zeppo found himself surrounded by Sunnydale's finest and then some "Um... All right, Girls, let's not be too hasty..." Cold hands hugged him from behind. He squeaked in surprise and shivered in fear. His infamous bad luck had struck again, he knew of only one woman who had such hands "Oh, Drusilla... Fancy meeting you here..."

The insane vampiress practically purred, moulding herself against his body "Oooh, Kitten... Miss Edith has whispered all sorts of naughty things to me while I was sleeping in that pretty box. Things that Daddy and Spikey wouldn't approve of"

"Good for you, now if you could let me go..." He blinked in surprise. There was a blonde girl he didn't know (yet, this was third season Xander for those who wanted to know) with Buffy and the others "Who are you !?" He blurted out.

The girl answered with a dreamy look "I'm yours... Er... I... I'm... T-Tara... Tara... Maclay, yes" It seemed that the blonde wiccan's shyness hadn't been completely erased by her reprogrammation.

In the meantime, Faith had grabbed one of Xander's arms "Girls, this isn't necessary... I can walk by myself..." The second slayer didn't seem to listen to him and her hands travelled down south "GAH ! Leave the Xandman's pants alone !"

Back in the corner where Ranma's group had taken refuge, everyone sighed. This could take a while.

*****

A few minutes later, Xander had discovered that while the girls who had woken up and imprinted on him obeyed his orders without question, even if they kept up with the innuendo in everything they did. Since his only hope of returning them to a more normal frame of mind was by defeating Ataru, he reluctantly became the leader of the Sunnydale group. The White Hats had been reinforced with :

Buffy Summers, the Vampire Slayer.

Willow Rosenberg, hacker and apprentice witch.

Cordelia Chase, cheerleader and Xander's official girlfriend.

Faith Williams, the (second) Vampire Slayer.

Drusilla, vampire and low level psychic.

And Tara Maclay, witch.

All in all, the slayers and witches added some needed firepower to the rescue party. Willow had been sent to help Lieutenant Paris with the main computer. The slayers had picked up the left out weapons from last fight to arm themselves.

Oh, and Xander (with Technician Honey's help) was trying to find out how to create blood with a healing tank to feed Drusilla before she attacked someone.

Meanwhile...

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(Posted Wed, 09 Apr 2003 20:49)


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