20 years or so ago...
"It's working, Tendo! Soon the master will be too drunk to resist, and we will be able to seal him away forever!"
"Yes, Saotome! This will be the day we gain our freedom from that monster. We..." Soun noticed a pair of hands clapping him and Genma on the back.
"Go on, go on, my foolish pupils! This is so interesting to listen to!"
"er... master, how...?"
"Anything Goes Special Defence: Listening in to Plots Being Stage Whispered 2 Feet Away."*
I need not describe the following scenes of pain.
-------
* Idea shamelessly ripped off Bob and George, the famous Mega-man Sprite comic.
-------
As a result, Soun and Genma spent their whole lives under Happosai's "teachings". Though the old coot did seem to ease up on the two after they got married. After all, the old man said, "I do need to give them enough time to themselves to produce heirs to the school. And, even I'm not so cruel to deprive them of having such cute wives but not getting any nookie. And... heh heh... there's also the fringe benefits..."
"Are... are you sure you don't mind the Master WATCHING us while we're doing this, Nodoka?"
"Hmm, your master is so MANLY Genma! You should be proud! And... *giggle*... don't you feel so... [i]naughty[/i]?"
"urk"
------
By the time Ranma was born, Nodoka gave Genma a much harder time about leaving her at home while he went off to train the boy. Once again, amazingly, the lecher had done something partly for his own perverted reasons, and had resulted in a good result. Well... sorta. Like Hinako's case, there were also minuses to having taught Genma and Soun his Anything Goes Marital Arts... but I don't really need to go into detail, do I? Suffice to say, Nodoka was VERY reluctant to let Genma leave.
Which is when Happosai volunteered.
Genma thought that Nodoka was spoiling Ranma. Unfortunatly, Happi felt the same way about Genma... to cut a long story short, Happosai took Ranma off on the training trip, leaving Genma to "take care of" Nodoka. (under strict orders to take pictures and other records for... evaluation of his student's techniques. Genma protested greatly, to no avail, as Nodoka thought it would be really kinky, and wanted a set for themselves...)
Not long after, Ranma and Happosai meet an Okonomiyaki seller and his child. THIS time, Ranma learns that Ukyo is a girl. ... sadly, the reason is... because Happosai decided to let Ranma practise glomping and panty stealing and other practises with someone his own age. Besides, "Ranma, we practitioners of Anything Goes have a sacred duty to bring happiness to bring happiness to all pretty girls by touching them in exciting places, and releasing them from the trapping confines of underwear! And Ukyo is a pretty girl!"
"Not a boy?"
"Nope. It was obvious to me, being the Grandmaster of Anything Goes! err, besides, her dad told me prior to arranging the engagement..."
"enga... engagaga what?"
"Never mind! Anyhow, this is a good time to practise what I've been teaching you all this time!"
"YES, sensei! hmmm... will you give a demonstration for me?"
"UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES! ... That is to say, you've already seen me give you so many other demonstrations on other (older) girls, you shouldn't make excuses or waste time. Go now!"
This time, Ranma didn't leave Ukyo behind due to anything related to Okonomiyaki. One day, the two adults came across the two children "playing doctor".
Even Happosai had principles regarding this sort of thing. The engagement remained intact, but it was decided that maybe they could stay apart for a while until they were older. ... And Happi decided to consider adjusting his training regime for the child.
As for Ukyo, she led a more or less happy life this time, with a little weird influence concerning the birds and the bees. Ukyo wasn't worried though. So what if only her husband was supposed to touch her like that? Ran-chan was her husband to be, so it was okay, since she only let him do that with her, right? It felt kinda nice though... well, she had just better find him soon, right?
-----
Later, Happosai came across the manual for the dreaded Neko-ken. Fortunatly for Ranma, he was so impressed by the technique, he decided to strengthen it and make it even more powerful. But how? Well, Genma would have probably used more cats, or more hungry cats, or tastier cat food. But Happosai decided to totally revamp the technique. And so... enter the Panty-ken.
-----
Many years later, Ranma met Ryouga. This time, Ranma didn't take the bread that Ryouga would have gotten for himself. No. This time, Ranma stole EVERYONE'S food for himself and his sensei.
Surprisingly, this actually made Ryouga hate Ranma slightly less than in the original reality. It just wasn't so... personal this time. Now Ryouga was just one of the enormous gang that had a grudge against Ranma, for either stealing their food, peeping, flirting with their girlfriends, stealing their girlfriends, stealing underwear... the list just went on and on...
Ryouga had been selected to represent them all in a man to man duel with Ranma. With the hopes of the student body riding on him, he had set out to seek justice... and managed to find the meeting place the very day he set out! A miracle!
Unfortunatly, Happi and Ranma had hung around for about 15 minutes when the duel was scheduled, then got distracted by a group of schoolgirls from Juuban (yes, THAT group of girls), and trailed after them. The crowd from Ranma and Ryouga's school had tried to get them to wait for Ryouga, but they had answered with, "Well, he's not here, so he forfeits, right? Too bad, we're gone. Bye!"
To make matter worse, Happi had decided to prepare a "humourous welcome" for Ryouga, and he had promptly fallen into a pit trap upon arrival there, landing in a pile of sardines... and surrounded by cats. Now, Happi had been mischevious, but not malicious. He had intended to be around to help the boy out of the pit after a few minutes of "fun". He had also not expected the cats to have spent nearly a day starving with a pile of fish just out of reach. But that doesn't change what happened to Ryouga.
Needless to say, upon recovery, Ryouga set out on a quest to hunt down this person who, had not only run out on their duel, but also attempted to kill him in a cruel and unusual way. There was also the looks he got from his ex-schoolmates. The one that said that he had let that monster get away by getting lost and arriving late. And the ones who didn't feel that way looked at him with pity in their eyes.
Yes, Ranma would pay...
-----
Jusenkyu was kind of similiar, other than that Happi didn't get cursed first, since his skills were still marginally above Ranma's. Marginally. He still got kicked in the head when he went in for the glomp on his student... getting punted into the Spring of Drowned Virtuos Man. Ironically, in this timeline, Tarou had been named by someone else entirely, and ended up Aloha Tarou, searching for the elusive Japanese man with a tree on his head to change his name.
In the Amazon village... things had been completely different. Ranma had won the challenge even easier than before, getting in some good groping on his opponent too. The fact that his gender at the time had been... well, actually, it didn't come into play, since Happosai was recognized before anything could happen, and the resulting chase involved the entire Amazon village...
-------
Not long after, the day that Genma had been half-dreading, half-anxious for arrived.
"Tadaima!"
Ranma was back. Would Nerima survive?
Read the comments on this episode
See other episodes by Jasonred
(Posted Thu, 01 May 2003 03:24)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.