Her left eye twitching, Penny said, "Charlotte... The piece of jerky is at least TWENTY MILLION YEARS OLD! How can you even THINK of eating it!?"
Whimpering, Charlotte said, "But... But... Jerky is always good... It's dried out and can last a long long time..."
"NOT TWENTY MILLION YEARS THOUGH!!!" Penny screamed.
Grabbing Penny's shoulder, Gina said, "Easy Penny. I'm very upset about this too. But you shouldn't get upset with Charlotte. It's not her fault we got screwed over..."
Finally startin to calm her anger, Peny sighed. "I know, I know... But... Damn it! We risked life and limb in Civ Alpha and for WHAT!? All we walked away with was ancient beef jerky!"
*CRUNCH*! *MUNCH*! *MUNCH*! MUNCH*! "Oh, yummy! Teriyaki flavor! My favorite!"
Gina and Penny paused in their arguing. Turning to the sound of eating, they saw Charlotte holding onto the piece of beef jery. She had already eaten half and was chewing vigorously. "CHARLOTTE!!!" Both Penny and Gina screamed.
Stopping in mid-chew, Charlotte looked over at the two geniuses. Swallowing the jerky she had in her mouth, she asked, "I'm sorry. Did you two want some too?" Holding out the other half of the stick of jerky, she offered it to them. "Here."
Growling in anger, Penny stomped over to Charlotte and smacked the jerky out of her hand. "DAMN IT! CHARLIE! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE THAT'S BEEN!?"
"Um... Inside that Betatech box?" Charlotte answered, unsure of herself. Seeing Penny fuming, she added, "And now it's been on the floor." Seeing steam actually shoot out of Penny's ears, Charlotte cowered before the angered Nubian woman. "What did I do wrong?"
Stopping in her tracks and counting to ten backwards, Penny started to calm down. "Charlotte," Penny began, "You had no idea where that jerky's been or who made it? Do you realize you might have taken some sort of ancient virus or cow dung or something very bad into you?"
Charlotte whimpered. "T, that would be bad..."
"Darn tootin'!" Penny said. Sighing she spoke softly. "I think we should have your stomach pumped. I don't kow what's in that jerky and I don't want to take any chances."
Charlotte's eyes widened. "Stomach pump! No! I don't like that!" And she really didn't. She had it done once before when he had eaten bags of ariline peanuts whole, still in the bags. It was not a pleasurable experience. "Please Penny, don't!"
"Now Charlotte, I'm going to have to agree with Penny on this." Gina said. "We don' know what that jerky was made from."
Charlotte cowered back, her back pressed against a wall. "No! You can't! It hurts I don't-"
*SHREEEEEEEEEEK*! *THUD*!
Penny and Gina staired with wide-eyes as Charlotte literally made a wall collapse by pressing against it with her back. A 3'-thick steel reinforced wall! "HOLY!!!" Gina stated in shock.
Sitting up among the mess she had made, Charlotte whimpered. "I'm sorry, Gina. Don't be angry."
"Hmm..." Gina 'hmm'ed, rather intrigued. "Charlotte, you see that Ginamobile over there?"
"Yes." Charlotte nodded her head.
"Please, pick it up." Gina asked.
"What!?" Charlotte asked. "There's no way I can do that! I'm not strong enough!"
"Oh, but I think you are..." Gina said.
Charlotte blinked her eyes. "Eh?"
"Go on, Charlie. Try." Gina encouraged.
Shrugging her shoulders, Charlotte didn't think she could manage it, but she'd try. Standing up form what was a wall, Charlotte walked over to the Ginamobile. She grabbed the back-bumper and pulled up with all her strength...
And sent the car smashing into the ceiling.
"... D, did I do THAT!?" Charlotte asked in shock.
"The jerky!" Penny said. "It had to be the jerky!"
Gina looked around. "But where is-"
"Yoohoo!"
Gina, Penny, and Charlotte looked over to the cell. They saw Uriel holding onto the piece of beef-jerky. "Apparently these energy fields are one-way... And I now have your super powered-jerky..."
Gina, Penny, and Charlotte let out a collective 'gulp'.
See other episodes by Red Priest of the 17th Order
(Posted Tue, 13 May 2003 00:10)
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