The events leading up to what is now widely known as the "Titan's Fall" are nearly unknown to all but a select few mystics, seers and eyewitnesses. (of which there are few) Those who may have seen the event personally refuse to speak of it, for fear of retribution from some divine source apparently. The situation is further obfuscated by numerous and conflicting second hand reports, making discerning between real, falsified or downright erroneous accounts nearly impossible to tell.
What follows is probably the only widely-held "factual" account. The problem, however, occurs not in the veracity of said report, but the reporter himself, or rather, herself.
The ex-criminal known only as "Hanzo", (now Hanza, for reasons that will quickly become obvious) by her own words, is not the paragon of truth historians would like her to be, and many parts of her diary are more than likely embellishments. Be that as it may, no other accounting of the events leading up to The Fall have been so close to actual survivor stories, leading this scholar, and many others, to place more faith in its writing than a hundred other "I know a guy who knows a guy who was there, honest!"'s.
Many an author has found that it is best to begin the story at the end, or as close to it as possible. Thus, we begin with the final journal entry before the event in question.
My life sucks.
No, really.
Lemme explain. You ever have a bad day? I mean a really horrible, shitty, pus-encrusted, miserable excuse for a day, which was actually a little slice of hell cooked up and served on a plate made of the wretched remains of your dreams for no other reason than some cosmic being somewhere in a broken dimension can laugh at your despair over screwing up your life?
Of course you have. We all have. Took me a while to get that, though. Depression making it seem like the entire universe was just unloading its anger directly onto me and all. That, and I honestly don't give two shits about you or anybody you care for. Hard to be empathetic when you're an effective sociopath.
Nah, I'm not that bad. Actually, I've been getting a lot better recently. I hardly ever wish for the entire world to choke to death on its collective blood supply anymore.
Anyway, back to why my life sucks. There were two distinct events that I'm talking about. The first was easy to identify. I chugged a potion that increased my strength to the point where I could arm-wrestle a werecat and reasonably expect to win. Sounds good, right? Well it was, except for the fact that it was only meant to be drunk by a woman. As that was not the case with me, it quickly "modified" my body to compensate.
I.E., I LOST MY #*@&^!% DICK!!!
Oh yeah, I have a huge rack now, biggest I've ever seen, but that wasn't what I was going for. The whole "titanic tits" look doesn't work for me.
At least, it didn't used to.
...
Screw it. If everything goes down like it should, I'll be dead anyway, so what does it matter?
The way I figure it, the potion did more than screw with my body. It affected my mind too. Lucky me. Guess it did it to ease me into my new life. Worked, too. I was nowhere near as depressed as I should have been. The new... urges... were disgusting at first, hell, they still are, but I've mostly gotten over them.
But let's get back to the issue at hand. Life sucking, mainly mine. The second event actually turned out to be much worse than the first, but I just didn't know it at the time.
Our first meeting wasn't any big thing. Girl that used to be boy meets boy that turns into girl under tepid water. Girl immediately takes severe dislike to boy and tries to kill him. Boy fights back and kicks girl's ass all over the place. Fight gets interrupted by huge explosion. Girl swears eternal vengeance on boy, seeks to kill him at any opportunity. Pretty standard stuff, really. I think that was how mom and dad met.
Ranma Saotome. My second personal hell has a name. And a face. And incredibly blue eyes. And a really cute ass. I know, I know, not the thing to say if I wanna keep up the pretense of masculinity, but like I said, by the time anybody reads this, I'll already be dead. Not Ranma, though. Never him. He'll live through this even if the world ends. I've seen the guy survive things no human should be able to, and stuff many werecreatures wouldn't come back from. Guy's like a cockroach with an invulnerability enhancement tailored into its being. I don't really think he can die anymore.
He scares me sometimes. Excites me too.
Here he comes. Time to go die. I'm leaving this here so someone can find it and make some sort of sense out of this insanity.
P.S. Tell my dad I died robbing some old lady, ok?
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(Posted Thu, 03 Aug 2006 08:35)
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