No...that won't work...sales have been dropping off lately...
Hmph! Who do they think they're kidding? Their interest rates are much to high...
Maybe...no...that won't work either....
"ARRGH!!!"
Letting out a long groan of frustration, Nabiki slumped back in her chair, a fierce scowl crossing her impish features. The source of her frustrations lay spread out on the desk before her, its cluttered pages and scrolling print seemingly mocking her. It was just so irritating! No matter how many times she crunched the numbers, she just couldn't make it work!!
Of course, that wasn't really any big surprise, Nabiki thought with a snort. With summer vacation gearing up and the Kuno siblings off on some family outing, her profits had taken a real nosedive lately. Add in the Saotome's food-bill and the cost of the repairs from Ranma's and Ryouga's last fight...well, it was no wonder that the Tendo family was in dire straits.
Slamming the little black ledger closed with an irritated growl, Nabiki launched herself to her feet, moving purposefully towards the door. At the rate things were going, she wouldn't even be able to foot next month's heating bill, and while having no hot water would certainly mean more photo opportunities for Ranma-chan, it was kind of a moot point with her primary market base gone. No, she had to do something. Something she had never hoped to do. She would have to have everyone get...*shudder*...jobs.
"You want us to WHAT?!"
"I want you all to get summer jobs," Nabiki repeated flatly, fixing Akane with a challenging stare. "Is that a problem?"
"But...but I've never had a job before!!" Akane protested feebly, her shock slowly wearing off.
"Ah...don't worry 'bout it Akane," Ranma chuckled, one hand reaching up to scratch the back of his head, "It's no big deal. Working can actually be kinda' fun, as long as you find something ya' like."
Nabiki couldn't help but smirk at this. "Oh? So you like waitressing then, Ranma-kun?"
Ranma froze for a second before giving a sheepish grin, "That was a low blow 'Biki. Besides, you wouldn't say somethin' like that if you'd ever worked for the Old Ghoul. She's a real slavedriver. Heh. Can't say it wasn't challenging, though..."
"Harrumph!" Genma barked, "You're just getting soft, boy!".
"Yeah right, Pop!" Ranma growled, shooting a quick glare at the offending animal, "I don't see you getting up off your lazy butt and doing anything about it! Why don't you go out an' get a job!?"
Genma growled for a second before drawing himself up to his full height. "Foolish boy, you don't need a job to be fulfilled! The Art should be enough for you! Why just look at the rigorous training regime I've devised for myself! I wake up at the crack of dawn, train my ungrateful son in the Art, then eat a hearty breakfast to start the day off right. I follow that with several hours of focusing, strategizing, and meditation. The tensing of the muscles, the building of Ki reserves through concentration, the art of strategic planning as learned through shogi! All are worthwhile pursuits! Why, when you're a Master of the Art like I am, boy, even the simply act of breathing becomes challenge enough!"
Ranma was about to retort, but was suddenly interrupted by a loud and unexpected "Oh my!" With a growing look of confusion, Ranma watched helplessly as a frantic Kasumi started hovering around his father, feeling his forehead, checking his pulse, and examining his irises with a worried-looking expression on her face.
"You're having trouble breathing Saotome-san? Do you feel dizzy? Would you like me to call a doctor? You might have a heart condition!"
Genma bigsweated. "Er...."
"Oh my! Would you like me to take your temperature?"
Swallowing heavily, Genma turned around to see a sight that would give him nightmares for many weeks to come. It was Kasumi, holding a large threatening thermometer. A large threatening rectal thermometer.
"Now bend over, Saotome-san!"
"AUGGHH!!!!"
Chuckling wickedly, Ranma watched as the terrified martial-arts-master ran laps around the kitchen table, a distressed Kasumi hot on his heels. It was always fun to watch the panda squirm. Still, he should probably put a stop to it. They had more important things to deal with at the moment, after all. "Nah. Don't worry about him, Kasumi. He's just havin' trouble breathing because he's been fillin' up on all those 'hearty' meals."
"Oh dear!" Kasumi exclaimed, quickly slowing to a stop and holding her hands up to her cheeks in a mortified expression. "I've been so thoughtless! Poor Mr. Saotome-san has a heart condition and I've been feeding him fatty foods!!"
"Err...that's quite all right Kasumi-san," Genma hedged, giving Ranma a quick glare and discretely sidling away from Kasumi.
"Oh, but it's not alright, Saotome-san! I may have aggravated your condition! I promise I'll try to keep your dietary needs in mind from now on!"
"Um...Kasumi-chan....?" Genma whispered hoarsely, his eyes now wide in alarm.
"Vegetables are just so healthy for you!" Kasumi beamed.
Genma whimpered.
"Ha! Serves ya' right, Pop!" Ranma sniped.
"Shut up, boy!" Genma growled, "This is all your fault!"
"Hey, listen Pop! I-"
"AHEM!!!"
The argument slowly ground to a halt as everyone turned to look at Nabiki.
"Now," Nabiki seethed, fixing the two Saotomes with an angry glare, "as I was saying, you all need to find summer jobs for the next few weeks. I don't care what you do, but just find something!!"
Ranma stared at the middle Tendo daughter for a moment before shrugging his shoulders and jumping to his feet. "Alright, guess I should get goin' then, huh?"
"That's the spirit, boy!" Genma exclaimed, rising to his feet and slapping his son on the back, "You do your father proud! Now go out there and work hard, boy! It builds character!"
"Yes," Soun finally spoke up, nodding his head in approval, "Well said, Saotome! Work is indeed a worthy endeavor, and one best suited for the young! Don't you agree Saotome?"
"Absolutely, Tendo!" Genma enthused. "That's the way the world works! The younger generation toils and works and the older generation offers guidance and advice! It's the perfect system! Why-"
Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, whatever Genma was about to say would forever remain undisclosed to the world, as his tirade met a sudden end at the hands of the rolled-up newspaper that was abruptly jammed down his windpipe.
"Er...Erk?"
Staring down the barrel of the want ads, Genma blinked at Nabiki dumbly.
"Nice try."
Thus, the various members of the Tendo household, fathers and financiers, transsexuals and tomboys, destroyers and domestics, all left to find part-time jobs for the summer, all with the intent of keeping their struggling little family afloat. And unbeknownst to all, crouched down at the top of the stairs, a certain little black piglet pondered over what he had heard. Pondered and bemoaned the fate of his love, pondered over what he might do to help her.
And it was there, in that household, with that piglet, that a mighty squeal could said to be heard, a great roaring oink which heralded the coming of a new age.
An age of strength and effort.
An age of toil and hardship.
An age of nonexistent workman's comp.
And the world would never be the same...
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(Posted Thu, 15 May 2003 11:05)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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