Brianna was lying haphazardly on the couch, one long leg thrown over its Armrest as she watched a rerun of Survivor with a completely bored expression. “Yeah yeah, bills bills and more bills. Anything I might want to read?”
Hurtbot scanned through the mail quickly, before replying, “43 letters. 39 of which are from various credit card bills addressed to masters Father and Mother, as well as Master’s sister Brittany. Letter 40 is the latest Electronic Geeks monthly…”
Brianna blanched, “Throw that thing away. Gina isn’t going to be home for another month anyway.”
“Acknowledged, disposing of article. Letter 41 is ‘Boom Boom CHACHING boom boom’ armament magazine…”
Brianna snatched that magazine out of the Hurtbots hand so fast even it didn’t know she had taken it, thus kept going on with its listing.
“Letter 42 is a postcard addressed to Diggers Family from Master and Master’s mate. Letter 43 is a postcard addressed to Brianna and Brittany Diggers from Master.” The hurtbot finished.
Brianna was cackling madly at the newest specifications for the bigger better gun. It took her a moment, but her mind eventually caught up with the Hurtbots words. “Wha? GIMME THOSE POSTCARDS!” she snarled, snatching them as fast as she could.
Brianna glanced over the ‘Family’ post card briefly, before setting it aside and picking up the one addressed to her and Brittany specifically.
**************************
“Hey girls! I hope you got this postcard before mom or dad did, I don’t even want to think about how they would react to this. Everything’s going fine, well.. Whenever Ranma and me manage to get out of our bed. You’re ‘Complete Guide to the Kama Sutra Book’ wedding present was a godsend Brianna. Ranma adores the thing. He hasn’t put it down, except to try out all those neat positions. Ranma wants to go back ‘home’ before our honeymoon is over. Tie up loose ends and introduce me to his mother. I’m a bit nervous about that. What with Ranma’s past and the fact he tells me she’s a VERY traditional woman. What if I don’t measure up?”
“Gah. I should have sent this yesterday. Were did the time fly? Oh yeah, Ranma wanted to test out that mage suit daddy gave him. I can now say I understand why mom is always mauling him for nookie. Those things are the greatest sexual toys I’ve ever known! Anyway, I’ve got to get going. Ranma’s taking me to visit some friends. Some people called ‘Seven Lucky Gods Martial Arts’. Anyway, I’ll write soon! Bye!
Gina B. Diggers-Saotome.
PS: You touch my Electronic Geekly magazines and I'll kill you! Just put it in my room, thanks!
***************************
Brianna grinned mischievously, just imagining all the nookie Gina was getting from Ranma. It didn’t help matters that Ranma was the only man ever to resist her raging desire for ‘nookie’. Believer her, she had tried to bed down that stud on more than one occasion. He had the most annoying knack of disappearing with out saying a word.
"Hey Hurtbot, put that electronic geekly magazine in Gina's room." Brianna ordered.
"Error: Mistress Brianna expressed command to 'dispose' of aforementioned article. It has been recycled, unable to retrieve." The hurtbot responded.
Brianna gulped, a sudden sensation of doom washing over her. "Oh shit."
***
Ryan grunted as sweat trickled off his brow while he hammered blows down upon the training dummy.
A casual observer wouldn’t notice anything wrong with the way Ryan moved, flowed through kata after kata as he trained his mind and spirit. Even a mediocre fighter would tell you otherwise. The way Ryan’s face twitched with each blow that connected, the slight feel of his anger in his unconscious Ki projection, the seemingly smooth and graceful blows appearing more rigid and forced to the trained eye.
‘Married’ Ryan snarled, increasing the tempo as he let more of his anger surge into his arms. ‘To my.. best friend.’ Those thoughts only caused the anger to increase. As Ryan continued to beat down on the unresisting dummy, he thought back to the young man he had befriended all those months ago, to the girl he had all but pledge his life and soul to, and the fact that selfsame girl had chosen to marry his best friend.
Kicks joined the punches, the poor training dummy looking worse for wear and near breaking.
Ryan berated himself mentally for missing the signs. He had known, on some level, Gina had started growing real close to Ranma. Ever since that strange incident involving Tanya and Brit’s baby Ryan had noticed a profound change in the girl’s attitude towards the young man. Ryan didn’t think anything of it, though. Ranma was his friend, he knew Gina was his girl and knew he would respect that.
Only due to his big mouth Gina had broken up with him again, there by spending more and more time with Ranma. Again, Ryan didn’t think anything of it. The two had broken up many times before, but they always ended up back together. Ryan believed that despite their petty arguments, they were meant to be together…
Then came the day of their engagement.
“SON OF A BITCH!” Ryan screamed, pulling back and unleashing one final massive punch at the poor dummy. With a loud crack the training dummy split in two. Panting and heaving, Ryan stared at his bloodied hand – splinters of wood had some how managed to dig themselves in with out him even feeling it.
He had felt so betrayed, so hurt. It had to be a joke; some sick gag Gina was playing on him to make him jealous. Ranma was an innocent, some how talked into helping. Or so Ryan had thought. He played their game, up to its final and inevitable conclusion.
Ryan shook himself out of his stupor, burying the anger for both his ex and his best friend. He would get back at them, some way, some how. He wasn’t a total dick though; he knew Gina had chosen Ranma. He felt happy for her, extremely happy. Ranma he was happy for too, but Ryan couldn’t wait for their honeymoon to be over. A few ‘rough’ sparring sessions would do him good; help him dissolve this emotional pain.
Ryan cracked the cruelest grin, “Then it’s on with the prank war…”
Oh yes, Gina Diggers would regret doing this to him! Why, if he had to infest her house with CRABS (Those nasty pubic menaces) to get back at the girl, he would! Not to mention all the 'dye' he could slip into their bathtubs! Oh oh! Put glue in their shampoo!
“BUAHAHAHA” an evil cackle resounded into the night.
Heaven help the Digger household… and their hair…
See other episodes by Matdeception
(Posted Tue, 27 May 2003 06:13)
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