Cologne had been a martial artist for somewhere close to three centuries now. She had roamed over vast portions of China in her life, and seen many strange things... though, admittedly, some of the strangest had been in her backyard (so to speak). As such, she was quick to recognize the Lust Dust's effects for what they were and erect a ki shield to protect firstly herself, and then the other patrons. Unfortunately, the attack had come to quickly and suddenly for her to extend the same protective measures to Ranma and Shampoo; all she could do was keep the others at the restaurant from sharing their fate.
...That was her story, and she was sticking to it.
Her first reaction to her descendants' hurried and clumsy rush to Shampoo's bedroom had been to deliver a truly resounding blow to Mousse's skull, rendering the idiotic practitioner of Hidden Weapons style unconscious before he had a chance to comprehend just what was going on. The second was to quickly usher out all of the patrons, less from concern about what they might see or hear (from the reactions, she was pretty sure that most of them had seen Shampoo's shirt get practically torn away, while she reciprocated the deed) and more from the fact that such a wide barrier was impractical for her to sustain.
Once they had been sent out, a quickly whipped together wind vortex scooped up all of the Lust Dust and sent it hurtling out of the window and up into the sky. True, there was every possibility it might drift back down to affect more people, but Cologne frankly couldn't care less. Once she closed and locked the door and all of the windows, she released her barrier with an exhausted sigh. Unlike Happosai, she didn't artificially bolster herself by leeching ki from others, so such a sudden and drastic expenditure of ki left her feeling all of her centuries of life. She still had more than enough energy to get some cold water, turn Mousse into a duck, wrap him up in half a roll of duct tape, and throw him into the cage she kept for just such occasions. That done, she slowly and methodically helped herself to her pipe while listening to the sounds of the teenagers in the upper rooms.
"...What a mess you've gotten us all into, Mousse." She sighed heavily, exhaling a large smoke ring before returning to her smoking. "And you don't even understand why this is a mess, now do you?"
Mousse, of course, was still out cold, but this rant had been building up in Cologne for quite some time now, so it was doubtful if even the start of World War 3 would get her to stop (and part of the reason was because she was convinced that was exactly what would happen when this got out into Nerima).
"You, of all people, should know that usage of even love magic is strictly regulated back in the village- why else would we have only imported the Kirahashi Mushroom, whose capacity is solely to deliver simple post-hypnotic suggestions. Shampoo was merely aiming to encourage some physical affection from Ranma, in hopes that this would make him willing to return her feelings. I admit that we took advantage when Happosai revealed he still had the Love Pill Bracelet, and when that merchant brought us the Red Thread of Fate, but, frankly, we considered the situation desperate enough, and the possibility of covering our tracks great enough, that they were valid risks. After all, we're not in the village now, so if Shampoo returned with a loving husband, who's to know that she was willing to use love magic to entice those feelings."
She fell silent for a minute or so, listening to the noise from above and wryly grinning to herself at the mutual displays of stamina, then resumed her spiel.
"Of course, the Red Thread, which fed upon her own feelings for the boy, would have been the better alternative, but they were still both risks. Why do you think that I didn't insist Shampoo use Ranma's magic-induced feelings to sign a marriage license, thus legally wedding them no matter whether the original plan succeeded or not? If Ranma had been wed to Shampoo, but without the effect becoming permanent, he would have only had to reveal what had happened to the council to receive an immediate divorce and our family would have been punished."
"And now, this. How could you have been so stupid? You know how erratic love magic is, so why would you use lust magic, which is even worse? What were you hoping to accomplish anyway? Did you really think that somehow getting Shampoo to have sex with you would make her annul the wedding? Lust magic is fleeting- once it wears off, the victim is back to normal. She would have killed you for using her like that. Why do you think we never used any aphrodesiac based magic in our pursuit of Ranma? They don't establish any kind of long-term bond, so it would have been pointless. At most, it would have thrust a serious crack into any bond felt by that Akane girl... which might not have been such a bad thing." Cologne grudgingly admitted.
"But, either way, just because Ranma cannot go back to Akane, that does not mean he will fall into my great-granddaughter's lap. Unless the magic contained additional compounds more traditionally found in love magic, anyway... well, that or he gets her pregnant. And that's not possible, as you'd know if you'd paid more attention to the Lorekeepers!"
Cologne fought with the urge to hit Mousse again. There was a reason why Jusenkyo was used as punishment for those who had broken the laws of the Joketsuzoku; if they failed to atone and earn a cure, then they had condemned their own family line to death. Jusenkyo was a curse, and a very powerful one at that. Among other things, this gave it a kind of will- not sentience as such, but definitely something approximating a consciousness. And a malicious one at that. Jusenkyo's purpose was to torment those who contracted it, and thusly it influenced things to those events- oh, it didn't precisely choose the spring a victim fell into, but it did 'nudge' them away from unsuitable springs. After all, death was a release from torment, so where was the point in giving a victim a curse that they found so horrible they would commit suicide rather than endure it? Likewise, where was the fun in giving a curse to someone who wouldn't care about it- or, worse, would actually see it as a blessing?
Hence the various curses that the Jusenkyo-afflicted in town bore. Ranma's curse was obvious; the blow turning into a girl dealt to his ego was painfully obvious, and being chased and harassed by myriad hornball guys had to be in the nightmares of any heterosexual man.
Genma accepted his curse for the most part, true, but he considered it a major blow to his pride and dignity, not to mention that it put him through the petty torment of sweltering in any heatwave (after all, imagine having to wear a thick fur coat to the beach in the middle of summer).
Ryoga's curse made him small and defenseless, but also tortured him by giving him the love and tender affection of an innocent girl- but only while in his cursed form. Mousse, similarly to Genma, suffered from a bruised ego in cursed form, but was also weak and vulnerable like Ryoga, as well as sharing the risk of ending up on the menu.
As for Shampoo, well, a man she loved who not only showed her little affection in her human form, but who was absolutely terrified of her cursed form and ran for the horizon at the sight of her in that state made it pretty obvious what fun Jusenkyo was having at the Joketsuzoku girl's expense.
Taro was an unusual case, but maybe Jusenkyo figured that having Happosai for a godfather, and the name he gave him, to be enough of a curse. Or maybe it was because of his curse that Taro had grown up to be such a bully and a tyrant; Cologne seriously doubted that anyone would be willing to get to know him, even if they didn't know his name or weren't scared off by the monster he turned into.
But, the long and short of it was that while Jusenkyo made its host's life miserable, it also took steps to shield that life to prolong its own amusement. Thusly, any woman with (or created by) a Jusenkyo curse was functionally sterile- any and all ova in their system was destroyed the moment they shifted into an unsuitable form. A woman suddenly turning into a mouse with a developed human embryo in its womb, or a man reverting back with a fully formed infant in his abdomen, would have messy, fatal consequences, and so Jusenkyo used its power to prevent that by eliminating any fertilized ova. A cursed woman could have a baby, but only if they were cured, locked into female form, or their curse was a Nyaanniichuan variant.
That meant that even if Shampoo had used some form of lust magic to get Ranma into bed with her, she couldn't use the 'excuse' of pregnancy to convince him to marry her. Although... Cologne straightened as a thought suddenly occurred to her. What if they did? Ranma probably didn't know the exact minutia of pregnancy, so if they claimed that the Lust Dust and the activities it had caused had gotten Shampoo pregnant, then they probably could get him back to China to take that curative dunk in the springs and allow Shampoo to really get pregnant before he got suspicious of their claims.
She shook her head; risky, but maybe worth a try. First, however, she figured she should examine that packet Mousse had deployed so she could try and analyze the contents. Who knew if he had used pure Lust Dust, or if it had been cut with some extra additives?
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(Posted Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:58)
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