"Huh?!" Ryoga managed.
"Huh?" Akane managed.
"I just need to lie down for a minute," said Kasumi. "It was a bit much at once."
"EHHH?!" Akane exclaimed, making demon warding signs. It was obvious. Unthinkable but obvious! No wonder Ryoga was so nice to her!
RYOGA AND KASUMI WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR!
Ryoga wondered exactly why Akane was now running all over the place going into various strange poses - some of which looked like that painting "the Scream" for some odd reason.
To Akane it all made sense:
1) Ryoga was always up at the house and giving gifts.
2) Ryoga was always running into Kasumi
3) Ryoga showing up at odd times of night.
4) Kasumi disappearing for odd periods
Oh the scandal of her older sister having an illicit romance with a younger guy! All going on right under her nose! No wonder he was always so nice to her (Akane) - he was dating her oldest sister!
"What's wrong with Akane?" Kasumi asked as she recovered while Ryoga carried her up the steps.
"I have no idea," confessed Ryoga. "I'm still trying to get used to the idea of Ranma making it to Heaven."
"Oh yes," said Kasumi, fainting again.
Ryoga laid the girl down on her bed then took a seat. He was kind of feeling woozy himself.
Akane finished convincing herself it was just a coincidence. Baka Ranma making her worry so much she was seeing things. She'd just look in on Kasumi and... Kasumi in bed. Ryoga sitting on the VERY SAME BED!
"Aaaaaaa!" Akane said, running outside and around the yard twice in panic. It was true!
In the einherjar training hall, Ranma Saotome smacked himself. "Aw, man!"
'Everyone screws up that whole 'show up after your death and give a prophesy' thing once in awhile," said Boromir. "Don't let it get to you."
"That there panda is acting up again," said one of the zookeepers.
"Guess we'll have to use the high pressure hose. Man that's one sure constipated panda," said the other zookeeper.
Genma shrank back against the tunnel he had been digging and stared wide-eyed as the cold soapy water and high pressure fire hose was readied.
"Ah didn't know pandas could sweat like that," observed the first zookeeper. "Must be too hot."
"Pandas like it cold," said the second. "That's why we has gotta use cold water like this. See. It's still got some ice slush in it."
"Ah think that look in his eyes means he gonna make a break for it. Ah'll just pump a couple rounds of tranquilizers in him afore we open the gate," said the first gatekeeper. "No point takin' chances."
Sif considered her hammer and her shikigami. She had that and her spells as a shrine maiden.
Chihiro Fujimi-san had the powers granted her by seven deities. She could fly faster than a speeding bullet train, was more powerful than a shipyard crane, could leap tall shrines in a single bound.
Megumi Morisato-san had her scanning powers, ability to transform into living metal, and ability to laser enemies.
Sailor Mars, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Jupiter.
"So who do you suppose Sailor Moon is?" asked Chihiro.
"Could it be Sayoko? Or Sora? Or..." Megumi made a face. "Nobody except Bell here makes a good Sailor Moon."
At which point Cuddles sniffed the air and gave a low growl.
"Oh man, look at all this garbage I got when I tried to download my e-mail," complained Megumi, pointing at her monitor. "I must have forty spam messages here."
"Hahahahaha! Nobody expects the spammish repetition!" Thud! clatter.
"Gate's locked," pointed out Chihiro. "Come around the front."
The side gate rattled briefly. "Oh. Front. Right. Hang on a moment."
A clanking noise could be heard moving from the side to the front. "Are you ready then?"
"Yeah sure," said Megumi. "Ahem. 'I must have forty spam here.'"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" proclaimed a group of knights who had thrown red surcoats over their armor. "Nobody expects the Spammish Repetition! Our chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear. Our TWO weapons are surprise and fear."
Chihiro leaned back and contemplated the sky. "What about those nifty red surcoats?"
The lead knight preened and smoothed it out. "They are nice, aren't they? I got them at clearance over at the art shop two blocks down. I said to Wensley here. What we need is a spot of color to strike fear in the hearts of our victims!"
The shortest Knight nodded his head rapidly in apparent agreement.
Chihiro gave a flat look at the group of knights. "Fear. Right."
"Wouldn't that be three weapons?" Sif pointed out helpfully.
"Oh. Right. Start over again. Be right back." The five knights marched smartly out the gate. Then apparently tripped over their own shadows if the noise was any indication.
Megumi waited a few minutes, deleting the spam on her computer and wondering if the promise of the internet was going to amount to nothing due to the distressing amount of garbage associated with it. "Sure is a lot of spam today."
"HAHA!" said the Knights, leaping out again. "Nobody expects the Spammish Repetition. Our chief weapons are surprise, fear, blazing red surcoats, and a keen sense of fashion!"
"So what are the swords for?" politely asked Sif.
The Knights all looked down at the belts. "Oh fuss and bother. Is that what those are. I tripped over it four times."
"I think I bent mine on the bus over here," opined one of the Knights.
"Would you like some tea while you straighten things out?" Sif asked, being the polite host.
"Oh that would be smashing!" The Knights all nodded their heads rapidly. "Hate to trouble you but we had three transfers and were chased by a dog trying to get here."
"No problem," chirped Sif. "I'll be right back."
Meanwhile, not that far away.
"I wonder where I got this odd pen from," wondered the young lady. "And why do I have this strange urge to say something silly like 'Venus Goddess Power. Make UPPPPPPPPPPP!"
Light show. Twirling around. Seifuku in orange.
"What the...?!" said the new Sailor Venus, aka
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(Posted Mon, 08 Sep 2003 13:11)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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