Dead silence.
Fast Food Freddie held up a sign that read [Polite Applause].
The zombie hordes began to clap unenthusiastically.
"Brainssss... brainsss..." said Nabiki.
"I un-zombied you," Freddie told Nabiki. "You're now a Dark Manager. Besides the whole 'brains' thing is too cliche."
"Hold the brainssss..." agreed Nabiki. She blinked as she slowly realized she wasn't a zombie anymore. "Oh. That's better. Though I think Dark General sounds better and has a better tradition."
"I have given you superhuman powers and abilities," declared Freddie. "Even a spiffy uniform. Say goodbye to your former life as a mere high school student, and hello to your new life as a Dark General. Dark General Clown Burger™ !"
Nabiki paused as if considering. "Nope. Make Akane the Clown Burger. I'll take Lotsabucks Coffee™ - they had a better profit margin last quarter."
"Okay," said Freddie, being agreeable for a villain. "I'll have to rework the powers slightly. Dark General Lotsabucks is it! Bwahahahahaha!"
"Bwahahahahahaha," agreed Lotsabucks.
"As for your sisters," Freddie gestured to the tubes. "Dark General Clown Burger™!"
There was an angry tootle from a horn as Akane found herself wearing a baggy clown outfit, her available skin turned pure white except for clown decorations in red.
"And as for the older sister," said Freddy, cracking his knuckles.
"Make it something healthy, she's into that sort of thing," suggested Lotsabucks.
"Say goodbye to Kasumi Tendo, hausfrau and inane commenter, say hello to Dark General Baskit-Robbing™!" Freddie held up his [Polite Applause] sign again.
A number of the Fast Food Zombie Counter Help golf-clapped on cue.
"Forty one-derful flavors," agreed the former Kasumi. "Care for a sample of Hypnotic Fudge Ripple?"
Licking suddenly dry lips, Freddie felt suddenly that he was going to have trouble with this one. "Maybe later."
"Okay," said Baskit-Robbing.
"Bwahahahaha?" inquired Lotsabucks.
"Bwahahaha," agreed Freddy.
"Bwahahahahaha!" chroused Freddy and Lotsabucks.
Beep beep honk honk beepity-beep beep beep!
"Such language," said Baskit-Robbing to Burger Clown.
"She does have a point however," said Lotsabucks as she conjured herself a cafe latte mocha with sprinkles. Hmmm. This Dark General business had perks. "Why don't we have a few Dark Lieutenants or Dark Sergeants? A chain of command is very important."
"Because we only have a few troops at present," pointed out Freddy. "When we conquer the world you can have a whole hierarchy that you oversee."
"Hmmm," said Lotsabucks as she sipped at her coffee drink. This Dark General gig was sounding better and better. "Retirement plan? Medical benefits?"
"When you rule the world those petty little details kind of fall in place," Freddy reassured his minion.
Lotsabucks nodded. She could see how that could be the case. "In that case I suggest:"
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(Posted Sun, 22 Jun 2003 12:45)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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