This brings us to our heroine's current situation.. eating breakfast with her mother and grandmother and listening to them critique her on her prudity.
"I just don't understand you, Yohko. You've had all these fine specimens of the male flesh and their male flesh around you and yet you still have not yet scored! I am so ashamed to have a nun for a relative!"
"MOTHER!!" Yohko whailed out, "You're such an embarassment to me." before she hid her face in her cereal bowl.
"I agree daughter, although at least she is not such a slut that she made it before completing her family duty.." the elder snapped out.
"At least I still can get the males prune-face.." Yohko's mother sniped back at her own mother.
It was true that sex was indeed a very common theme in these family conversations.. the only difference really was that the grandmother thought her daughter was a slut for having had sex before the devil hunter position could be inherited by her (as the holder of the title needed to initially be a virgin to be accepted) while Yohko was chastised by both her mother and grandmother for having her virginity still intact months after finally coming into the position.
Today's conversation was about to spark a change in both her status and in the usual way the morning talks would end, however.
"The slut is right.." the wisened elder stated, "you have indeed gone much too long.. the neighbors will talk if this keeps up.. which is why I have arranged a perfect marriage for you.. even you couldn't mess this up.. and you know what that means.." she said with a smile.
In unison Yohko tried to hide her face as her family called out, "Babies!"
"I'm so ashamed.." after a fierce blush Yohko finally continued, "but I can't help it.. every guy I ever like dies!"
"That's why this fiance is so perfect for you, dear.. he's a martial artist.. even you couldn't kill this one!"
'Maybe.. I can finally get laid!' Yohko thought to herself in hope.. but knowing her luck she had to say.. "No one is perfect though.."
"You're right." the grandmother said sadly with a tear in her eye. "This one is only ½ perfect. He's a great martial artist, he's handsome... but he's also ½ girl!" she finished in a wail.
Yohko stared at her granny in horror.
As if her sadness was forgotten the old worthy broke into a blazing smile as she stated, "But that shouldn't stop you.. after all for the continuation of the great devil hunter line any sacrifice is worth it. And no one ever said devil hunting wasn't fraught with peril."
Just then the doorbell rang.
"Oh that's your fiance now, Yohko-girl! Go do your old granny proud and make a man of him!" she stated then leaped away cackling happily.
"Do your mama proud, honey!" Yohko's mother added as she pushed her resisting daughter to the front door then seemed to vanish.
Yohko opened the door and saw not her fiance but rather a pig-tailed girl.
The girl greeted, "My name is Ranma Saotome, my mother told me you would be expecting me..?" she then fiddled with her pigtail for a moment then said, "Umm? Excuse me but do you have any idea why my mom told me to come here..? She was acting all weird saying something about babies.."
See other episodes by John Cameron
(Posted Sun, 29 Sep 2002 20:53)
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