Faerie King Ranma: Red Hot Fleeing Hood [Episode 55077]

Akane had covered herself to the best of her ability with the red cloak, but she was still shivering in embarrassment.  All around, weirdo characters were massing closer to the stage, most inviting the bewildered girl to follow them.  This soon got quite overwhelming.

"Come on, baby!  Let's go together to my straw house!" begged a leering pig.

"No, to my wooden house!" retorted another, jumping on top of his brother.

"Don't listen to those two!  You'd be much safer in my brick bunker!" assured the third pig, wearing army fatigues.  "It got anti-aircraft defense, a mine field, barbed wires, anti-tank traps, and enough firepower to blow any stinky wolf up to the Moon!"

Wolfie glared balefully at the Three Little Pigs.  For some strange reason, he felt like barking at them in German.

"Don't feel so bad, sweetheart.  You've done very good for a first-timer!" complimented Grandma.  (She came out of the cage, but was still tied up inside the sack, and moved around by crawling like a big worm).  "You'll see, a few more shows and you'll get over your shyness.  Grandma will train you, don't worry!" added the old moll with a wink.

"You shouldn't pay attention to such a boorish lot, young lady..." said the sophisticated, British-accented fox while sipping his tea.  "They obviously have no manners whatsoever.  The only safe place is my den.  Me and my good friends Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox and Fox will gladly welcome you."

"I can help, missy.  I'm the good guy here...." feebly added Droopy in his slow, flat-toned voice.

"Na, she'd better come with us!" said one of a pair of drooling buzzard.  "Yeah, we're always hospitable to fresh meat... err... new faces!  Yek, yek, yek...." completed the other.

"Ah, give it up you bunch of losers... she's coming with me..." assuredly said Screwy Squirrel, somehow out of his straightjacket, as he walked to the stage.  Pulling one of his buckteeth out of his mouth, he offered it to Akane: "I'll even give you my gold tooth!"

"Hey, you can't do that, bro!  And beside, she's mine!" protested... Screwy Squirrel, still in the straightjacket, as he jumped next to his twin.

"No, she's mine!"  "She's mine!"  "She's mine!"  "She's mine!"  "She's mine!"  "She's mine!"  heatedly argued the two clones.

"SHADDUP, ALL OF YOU!  THAT BABE IS COMING WITH ME!" exploded the Wolf.

Akane instinctively crawled away, pressing the red cloak tighter around herself.  Looking around frantically, she searched for a way to escape that bunch of loony perverts.  Desperately, she tried to remember something from those old, stupid American Cartoons that could get her away from all this.  Spotting a clock and a "LOCKWEED" plane poster, she had an inspiration.

"Err... very sorry... I can't go with any of you... I gotta... I gotta... take off for my day-job at the factory!  Yeah, you know, making planes for the country at war!" she said hastily.  Then, pointing to the clock, she added: "Oh my gosh I'm late!"

Zoom!

The assembly stayed stunned for a little while as the Red Hot Ridding Hood fled to the backstage.  Not just from the surprise, but because in her rush Akane had let her cloak flap upward and had involuntarily flashed them her round bottom.