I hate the neighbors.
Daddy says that we can’t cry loud because of them. Or that we can’t ask where Mommy is because of the neighbors. Or that we have to pretend to be happy that mommy is dead because of the neighbors.
Nabiki said that last one. She said that we have to pretend to be happy, because other people don’t want to see us sad. Even if we are. Then I started yelling that I was sad, and that I was crying, and then I was crying, and then Daddy came in and said we had to be quiet for the neighbors.
There’s a neighbor outside right now, so I guess I have to be quiet and not cry anymore and pretend to be happy.
It was actually in a wall. The can that Mommy wasn’t in, I mean. We put it in a wall. Next to a wall that had Granpa’s name on it, and next to another one that had Granma’s name on it. Then Daddy put a sort of stone thing over the place where he put the can that Mommy wasn’t in. It had Mommy’s name on it. All the neighbors were there.
Oh. She’s not a neighbor. She’s here for the dojo. Maybe she wants lessons, or something. I guess I don’t have to pretend to be happy. I probably have to be quiet and not yell, though.
I hate the dojo. I go out there sometimes to get away from ‘Biki, but I can smell Mommy in there and then I start yelling and crying and hitting the floor, but Daddy can’t hear me out there, so I guess the neighbors can’t hear me there either, so I guess I don’t have to be happy in there either.
I hate that can, too.
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(Posted Mon, 30 Jun 2003 09:38)
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