It was a petition, signed by over two thousand people, asking for him to invade their country.
Ahead of schedule. Most promising.
Unfortunately, the deal was struck, and he couldn't intervene until he actually won that area via this contest.
He could do one thing, however.
"Governor Kemp," Kachoo said pleasantly to the person whom he'd placed in charge of Australia. "How are things going?" Of course he knew how everything was going if he checked indicators, but human interpretation was often not logical and the two-lobed humans would often do things that an eight-lobed being such as himself would regard as nonsensical.
"There are complaints that Alexandria is higher than Mount Kosciuszko," said the Governor. "Also that Lake Alexandria is deeper than Lake Eyre."
"I see," said Kachoo. "Perhaps your Information Minister should point out that the two natural formations are natural?"
"Still trying to fill that post," grumbled the Governor. "The desalinization plants are at 65% and people are complaining about the odd taste of the water. Pointing out that its just purified water and it doesn't have any taste doesn't seem to matter. People are complaining about your rebuilding the Great Barrier Reef as messing with nature. The new farmland is too dry, there's too much water, there's too little water, the farmers are griping about the new crops growing too fast, and the lawyers are running amok suing everything and everyone."
"I thought that was mainly an American problem," said Kachoo.
"Hmm? Lawyers? They're everywhere nowadays. Don't get me wrong. Real estate and tax lawyers and probate lawyers - they can be fine folks. These litigation attorneys, on the other hand." Governor Kemp shuddered. "Pox on humanity, they are."
"Unfortunately even with my technology," said the alien, "there is no way to bestow common sense on those who refuse to heed such."
"Pity," drolly said the human Governor. "Let's see. We've upped the arable land to 13% roughly. Much more and we'll have people complaining that all their desert is going away."
"I see that a large portion of your population has put down 'Jedi' as their religion," brought up Kachoo. "I should be able to get a few Jedi Masters from some nearby systems."
"Uhm, well, I think they put that down as a joke, there's no such thing as 'Jedi'," said Governor Kemp.
"Perhaps, but there are in fact Jedi. Philosophical beings with esper abilities. They go by a different name, but as their race is primarily telepathic it doesn't translate well. It should be interesting to see what they make of humans and vice versa."
"As you say. Oh, and the law enforcement branch wants to know when you'll do something about the drug trade out of Tasmania."
Kachoo delicately speared two olives with feeding tentacles. "As soon as I deal with this other problem, actually. I was rather surprised by the Senshi's choices this time around. I had expected them to choose another race and to put some area of insignificant consequence on the schedule. Instead they chose one of the more advanced nations and 'mud wrestling'?"
"That caught a lot of people by surprise," agreed Governor Kemp.
One day before the match, the word came out that German ambassadors negotiating with Governor Kemp of the Australian area had managed to convince the Governor to take an argument to Kachoo.
They insisted that if they were going to face invasion by aliens, they too should have representation.
So now it was a three way round robin elimination competition.
Nine Senshi, Nine Agents, Nine Germans.
Not to mention that the Germans chosen were:
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(Posted Tue, 08 Jul 2003 13:34)
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