A short time later, the incomparable Tatewaki Kuno sat in wait at the Nekohanten, hiding behind a mighty bowl of pork ramen as befit his stature. The place was largely deserted. From behind the counter, the old ghoul who was the proprietor glared at him from time to time and muttered things in Chinese, and every so often Saotome's other wanton hussy with the blue hair would inquire if he actually intended to eat anything.
Under normal circumstances, no scion of the noble House of Kuno would be seen in such a place. Still, he mused, love makes one do strange things. His intelligence network (to whit: the increasingly mercenary Nabiki Tendo, may her chequebook be unbalanced) had revealed that this was an ideal location to encounter the pig-tailed girl, and had arranged for her to arrive at an appointed time. From behind his bowl of ramen, he perused once again the book and the contents therein.
It all seemed so simple: wait for his Pig-Tailed Goddess to enter, free her from her enchantment, and then the two would be forever joined as one, body, mind and soul. There was only one little problem, however: the book didn't actually talk about ways to defeat love spells. All it mentioned was the means by which such vile enchantments could be formulated. At first, it appeared as though the great Kuno's plans were all for naught, but surely this mere brain teaser was no match for the savage fury that was the intellect of the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High.
It was plainly obvious. All he had to do was to cast ANOTHER love spell on the object of his affection, and surely his obviously more powerful spell would undo the work of the foul Sorceror Saotome in a heartbeat!
A little research had revealed the ideal method - a lip balm confection known only as the Balm of Love. Simply by coating his lips in the substance and applying them to those of his beloved, the receipient of his amorations would find herself rapturously smitten. In this case, Kuno thought, he would only be restoring things to their natural order.
So saying, he coated his lips and waited.
Kuno did not have long to wait - some time later, an irate looking pig-tailed girl ... and accompanied by the other love of his life, Akane Tendo, what bliss! ... entered the restaurant.... and was immediately swept up in an embrace by Saotome's blue-haired harlot. Goodness, mused Kuno, he never imagined that the Chinese waitress swung in that... particular direction.
"Ai-yaa!" exclaimed the waitress, ignoring a fuming Akane Tendo. "You take Shampoo on date, yes?"
The Pig-Tailed Girl ignored Shampoo's affections. "You wanted to see me, old ghoul?" she yelled. The restaurant's owner emerged from behind the counters, hopping on a large staff.
"Son-in-law, this is a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?"
"I was told you wanted to see me about something."
The ghoul looked thoughtful. "No," she mused, "can't say that I did. How odd."
"Well, in that case," muttered the pig-tailed girl, "I'll see you later, I guess." She glanced around the restaurant one more, and her gaze met that of Kuno, who was touching up his Lip Balm of Love.
"Akane, is that just me, or is Kuno wearing lipstick?"
Tatewaki Kuno rose from the table. "Fear not, my love!" he yelled, and broke into a run, arms open. "For today, I shall free you from Saotome's accursed enchantments once and for all!"
It was, perhaps, somewhat unfortunate that Mousse, the man responsible for cleaning the Nekohanten floors, was as blind as a bat. It was, perhaps, even more unfortunate that on this particular day he missed a small patch of sweet and sour sauce that had somehow made its way onto the floor.
It was very unfortunate that Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, slipped on the puddle of sauce and went flying into the crowd of people. Everybody crashed to the floor like bowling pins.
It was extremely unfortunate that in the confusion, Kuno discovered that his lips had made contact with those of...
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(Posted Mon, 21 Jul 2003 08:50)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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