Kumiko nodded. "Well then, I suppose that I can help you there. I think that the best for you would be one of -"
"EXCUSE ME?!" Akane bellowed. "Kiss of death. Kiss of marriage. Obstacle is for killing?!"
"Miss Tendo, you have been given the Kiss Of Death how many times?" Cologne asked, focussing on Akane with a particular intensity.
"Uhm, twice..." Akane asked, stepping back, wondering if she was going to be tossed out into what looked like a very long drop.
"Are you still alive?" Cologne asked.
"Uhm, yes," said Akane, beginning to wonder where this is going.
"Ranma," said Cologne, switching that gaze to Ranma. "What was the reaction in the village when Shampoo gave you the Kiss Of Death."
Ranma thought back. "Hey, they were kinda surprised."
Cologne nodded. "And when you turned tail and ran from the village what was the reaction?"
Ranma scratched his head. "Uhm, I dunno, I was kinda busy escaping."
"Did anyone try to stop you or get in your way?" Cologne asked. "Or did they stand around gaping?"
"Uhm, the last one I guess," said Ranma, not having a clue what was going on.
Cologne nodded again. "How many times did Shampoo sink a spear, arrow, thrown axe, or throwing knife in your backpack?"
"Couple dozen times, I guess," said Ranma.
Cologne turned back to Akane. "I've said too much already, but you might want to consider that not everything you think you know about Amazon Law is exactly what you think."
Kumiko followed the exchange effortlessly, and gestured towards a touch screen computer. "If you can specify the sort of village the unit will be protecting, and what you know of the potential menaces, we can determine what sort of unit would be the best match."
The rest of the Nerima crew watched Cologne pogo-stick her cane over to the terminal.
Ranma scratched his head again. "Did I miss something?"
Kasumi hesitated as she stepped up to the girl who she was the primary operator (not owner) of. "Excuse me?"
"Yes, Kasumi Tendo?" Ifurita asked pleasantly.
"I'm your 'operator'?" Kasumi asked.
"That is correct. I am to assist you in housework and other domestic duties," stated Ifurita.
"You're an android?" Kasumi asked.
"Yes, that is essentially correct," agreed Ifurita. "Cyberdyne repaired my systems after salvaging me."
The little tour group had come to a halt to listen to this exchange.
"I see..." Kasumi said, wondering what she was to do in this situation.
"Well, I've got a question," said Yuka, holding one hand up. "Can you do Rocket Punch?"
"Possibly, it would depend on what 'Rocket Punch' entails," said Ifurita.
"Ifurita is a fully functional Ifurita unit from a world called 'El Hazard'," explained Kumiko. "A number of ancient civilizations had them, similar to nuclear weapons in this world."
"She's a nuke?" Akane asked, eyes widening slightly.
"No, she's..." Kumiko stopped as Ifurita raised her own hand.
"I'm what you might call a 'Weapon Of Mass Destruction', it was my task to be activated and then to fly to an enemy installation - destroy it - and return to my Controller." Ifurita shook her head. "I am so very glad that this is not the duty that I am returning to."
"'Enemy installation' like tanks?" Akane asked.
"Cities," corrected Ifurita growing visibly more saddened and upset. "Resorts, military targets, hospitals, manufacturing depots, hot springs... They'd give me an order and I had to obey... I had to..."
Ranma looked surprised as the android hugged him and started crying again.
Kumiko took up the narrative again, deflecting attention away from the two while Ifurita tried to regain composure. "Ifurita -19. She's artificial cloned tissue, state of the art for old El Hazard, bioenhanced near-human. She and several others ended up with a major conflict developing. They had to obey orders but a number of them came to identify with their human targets. Eventually that conflict caused their combat performance to collapse and they were shot down or otherwise disabled on the battlefield."
"So no 'Rocket Punch'," concluded Yuka.
"That would depend on the nature of the attack," said Ifurita as she regained control. "My series was designed to duplicate any attack used against us."
Ranma blinked at that and began to smile. "Ya get someone to hit you with their attack so ya can duplicate it or come up with a defense against it? That's what I do!"
"Those sparring sessions should be quite interesting then," summed up Kumiko.
"Wait a minute," said Shampoo as she made a show of peering around. "Where Sneaky Mercenary Girl go?"
"Uh oh," said Ranma.
That turned out to be prophetic because:
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(Posted Thu, 16 Oct 2003 12:46)
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