She had to make a point, however, to go and talk to Nabiki about schools and such. The New U Salon was a good place to work, and they appreciated the knowledge of magical shampoos and hairstyling techniques that she had brought with her. Thanks to her, they now had the option to "wash those cares away" which was perfect for some people with...less than pleasant memories. However, Shampoo had to admit she had an ambition toward something...higher now. The girls had warned her, but then again, this wasn't particularly bad.
Anyway, Nabiki could help her navigate the professional world and fill in the few gaps left by the makeover.
As they were walking, she noticed something in Ranma-chan's hands that she was fiddling with. A peice of paper, or plastic of some sort with the phrase "Read before eating" reprinted several times over the outside in bright paper.
"Umm, Ranma," Shampoo said. "What's that?"
"Oh this, it's like, just the wrapper that one of my treats came in, no biggie," she shrugged and handed it over. "Looked important, so I like, you know kept it rather than throwing it out."
Shampoo took the note as Ranma continued walking along. She started reading the reverse side, where the note actually was and her eye started twitching a little.
"Oh, Ukyou," Shampoo said cattily. "Come over here and get a look at this."
"Uh," Ukyou said, nervously moving cautiously away from Ranma towards Shampoo. "What it is...uh oh."
As for what the note read:
"I don't know why I bother with this, seems that people who eat certain mentally altering treats tend not to notice no matter how obvious I make the warnings. Anyway, the instructions: The "Oven Fresh Bun" is a powerful fertility enhancer, it is made to order and is not a common seller. It increases sexual desire and fertility long enough to conceive a child and thoroughly enjoy it."
"I was wondering why it took so long and cost so much," Ukyou laughed nervously. The look Shampoo gave her obviously indicated that the wait time and price were not on her mind.
"As the magic depends on connecting life-forces rather than anything physical, it will result in a child one hundred percent of the time. Assuming, of course, that there is at least one male and one female. I'm not a god or goddess, I can't induce parthenogenesis. Nor can I make children pop out of a man's head. So don't bring me the Gaia and Athena complaints anymore."
"What are you two doing back there?" Ranma-chan asked. "And why aren't you including me."
"Uh...heh," Ukyou said.
"Oh, it's about you," Shampoo said. "A sort of surprise."
"Oooo! Really? I like surprises," Ranma said.
"I hope so," Shampoo said icily.
"Do not eat this if you are currently under the effect of any transformative or shape-changing magic. The magic requires a stable life-force to work, and it will enforce a stable life-force if one is not present.
What this means is that whatever physical form you currently possess will be set as your default, normal, natural form. If this is what you want, so be it. Most mental effects will still wear off over time.
Do not eat a full bun unless you really want big families as it will have permanent effect on fertility and sexual desire (to approximately a 25% increase) if consumed by one person. Though, on the plus side if you find your gender permanently changed, due to ignoring the previous warning, then you'll find the inevitable gender dystopia you'll feel with the fading mental effects will be softened. Not that you won't notice, of course, just you'll probably be in therapy for a lot less time than if ate only half a bun like you were supposed to."
"Well," Ukyou said. "...umm...well..."
"Read on," Shampoo said.
"I'm really getting sick and tired of hearing complaints from girls that used to be boys or cat-girls that used to be human or boys that used to be girls. There are warnings on the walls, warnings on the menus, warnings on the wrappers, it takes thirty mintues to make these things, the cost is almost outrageous! What do I have to do to get you people to stop screwing this one up?!?!"
Signed, the management.
"Heh, I thought that first page was an advertisment or something..." Ukyou said.
"You sound like Ranma's father," Shampoo said.
"You're going to kill me now," Ukyou said. "Aren't you."
"I'm thinking about it," Shampoo said.
"At least Ranma's mentally going to be the same," Ukyou said.
"Say that again in a couple hours when Ranma tries to change back to a guy," Shampoo said.
"Uh...heh," Ukyou said.
"Like, here we are!" Ranma said cheerfully. "Furries 4 U."
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(Posted Sun, 21 Sep 2003 14:31)
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