"Fatality!"
Makoto watched the TV screen, twitching slightly.
"It's put out by a Chinese company," said Kimiko Mizuno. "Typical Super Famicom fight game except that all of the characters are copyrighted by someone else. Reviews indicate that the main popularity is from the death scenes of the Sailor Senshi. There's lawsuits all over the place to shut it down."
Minako blinked innocently from where she held the other controller.
Haruka snorted until Darkseid's next opponent turned out to be Sailor Uranus.
"As for your question, Ami, Kachoo had no problems with ceding control of Tokyo to Usagi." The doctor checked some sort of fancy palm pilot. "If he wins the final match, he states his Governors have full authority 'within reason' over their assigned areas. He will be providing loose outlines of tasks and accomplishments he wants done in accordance with the '500 Year Program' he's developed."
"So he does have longterm goals," pointed out Ami.
"To us that's longterm, to anyone who's lived over a million years - I'd expect that's the equivelant of next week," pointed out Governor Mizuno.
"AHHHH!" Haruka pointed at the screen. "I do NOT have a special attack called 'Sword Castration Rhapsody!'"
"You thought it was amusing when I turned out to have a 'Call Me Queen' special attack," pointed out Michiru.
"So what are these goals?" Ami asked.
"Mainly that he wants the human race to evolve, develop, spend the next five hundred years expanding out into the universe and prosper accordingly," said Doctor Mizuno. "Oh, and I should warn you about something that I think he's planning."
"Some sinister plan to smear our names and reputations?" Haruka asked, wondering if the videogame were part of that.
"No. He wanted to know why three of you wanted boyfriends but apparently didn't have one," began the doctor.
"AGHHH!" "Not into tentacles. Sorry." "Which three?" "Ahah! So he's seeking to seduce them to his cause!" "Ick!" "Not my type. Most definitely not my type." "I've got Mamo-chan thank you."
Governor Mizuno waited for the comments to die down. "Actually, it's Ami, Minako, and Makoto - and I think he might take it as a challenge and try to find some of you boyfriends from HUMAN candidates."
Ami blushed. Minako got sparkly eyed and lost the videogame due to inattention. Makoto fidgeted. Hotaru frowned slightly at not being included. Rei looked relieved. Setsuna grumbled something under her breath.
"So you're adapting to the job of Governor, mother?" Ami asked.
"Oh yes, I needed a break though so I thought I'd jetcar over here. Do you know those vehicles can achieve Mach 8? It just looks like something Ferrari or some other sportcar automaker would put out." Doctor Mizuno gave a little distant smile. "Quite nice actually. Had to keep the speed down until I actually left Japan."
Haruka muttered something under her breath.
Minako got an odd little smile and restarted the game as Sailor Uranus.
"Cute tall boyfriends?" questioned Makoto as she tried to figure out whether having a nearly omnipotent alien being trying to play matchmaker was A Recipe For Disaster or A Chance For Happiness or Some Sinister Plan.
"Oh that's just wrong," said Usagi as the videogame Sailor Uranus not only beat up Sailor Moon but slapped a dog collar and leash on her when she was finally down.
Haruka had an odd grin on her face on seeing the image until Michiru cleared her throat. "Wrong. Right."
"Kachoo does have fairly accurate files on you," said Doctor Mizuno. "I'd expect he's going to try and find the 'man of your dreams' based on that."
Hotaru started scribbling something down on a piece of paper. Setsuna merely looked as if she were thinking about it.
"So actually the initial attraction stage is based on many individual criteria, though each gender has some largely cultural basics, at least that was my understanding," explained Kachoo.
The newscaster nodded. "Right, I guess you could say that. So these Sailor Senshi here are, how should I say this, being indecisive?"
"With some of them it is already too late," said Kachoo, looking as thoroughly miserable as an eight-eyed octopus-faced eight-limbed alien being could. "Without love or affection in their lives, even though their courage and compassion are exceedingly high - they are slowly losing hope of any relationship outside their own gender and close knit group. Sad really. Even though my own species didn't have anything close to this sort of mating, I have observed it among other species. It seems a shame for Venus, Mercury, and Jupiter - who have stated their heterosexual preferences - not to be able to find suitable lifepartners."
"That's interesting," said the newscaster. "What were your species' mating habits?"
"There's no clear terrestrial analogue, so my response to such a question would best wait until after your race has expanded a bit." Kachoo sighed. "After all, we did have four sexes. Just trying to explain it would probably confuse more than a few of your viewers."
"Four?!" The newscaster looked befuddled as if the very idea was incomprehensible. "I see. Back to these Senshi, you feel that their performance may have been below standard lately because of their emotional state?"
"Exactly!" Kachoo beamed at the woman. "May I put up the address?"
"As you like, so you're doing this out of... sportsmanship?" The newscaster asked, trying to figure out the angle for an alien octopus-face to play matchmaker.
"Yes. Can't have Earth's defenders handicapped with broken hearts, can we? Well, if any interested males of the appropriate age range send letters to this address, we'll pull out those with explosives or other problems and otherwise send them on to the Senshi Fortress Of Solitude. Don't forget to include a photograph!" Kachoo clacked tentacle tips together.
"What of your Contra-Senshi? Going to match them up as well?" The newscaster asked.
"Oh they're already getting fanmail," answered Kachoo. "Though I'm told Himalia has a thing for Governor Kemp and Thebe is corresponding with some gentleman in Britain."
"Might I ask your plans for the Far East sector?" The newscaster put up a map with the area in red. "Japan, the Pacific Coast areas of the Orient from Korea through China down to the Phillipines. That's the biggest single area so far."
"I have spoken to my Governor for that region, and she is thinking of appointing Sub-Governors. She's even got one picked out specifically for Tokyo. I've given permission for her to appoint a Sub-Governor to a Lunar Base - which was one of her conditions for acceptance."
The newscaster frowned. "Why a Lunar Base?"
"Medical reasons," said Kachoo. "In the lower gravity, a number of physical conditions can be treated and the lifespan would be attentuated. It's also easier to fastgrow replacement organs and the like in a lower gravity environment. So the Lunar Hospital will be placed in the Sea of Serenity. Of course, she may have to make use of either the German slingshot or the Australian spaceport, but I want it to be one big happy empire."
"With you ruling, of course," griped the newscaster. "Okay, I know we haven't done a great job of ruling ourselves, but the idea of having an alien dictator over our heads just doesn't sit well."
"True, the next couple of hundred years will have to prove my good intentions," said Kachoo.
(Posted Thu, 02 Oct 2003 12:59)
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