Home on the Road: Home is Where the Heart is [Episode 73786]

by Red Priest of the 17th Order

“Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home...”

Ranma had heard that phrase time and again during his life. Growing up, his ‘home’ was his place by his father traveling the roads and camping out wherever. Once they had reached Nerima his ‘home’ was the guestroom of the Tendo Dojo.

But that was all in the past. How long had it been since Ranma left the Dojo? A year? Two? Three?

How long had it been since Ranma had a home?

Sighing, Ranma continued to walk along his way. Ever since the fight with Saffron, nothing had been the same for the aquatranssexual martial artist. With time, his temper became stronger and fiercer. He just became so annoyed with life around him. Nothing changed, and yet he was. It was as if Ranma had become a dictionary and the others were still books for a Second Grade Reading Level. Everyone thought life was to be as before, and that Ranma was to be a release valve for everyone to use...

The were wrong...

They were dead wrong...

Ranma couldn’t clearly remember how he was able to hold up under all the stress, but he knew that the final straw for his patience had been three months after the failed wedding. Ranma had received quite a numerous surprises all at once.

First surprise of the evening, Kuno came about, demanding to take the ‘pigtailed girl’ back to the Kuno Family Estate. It seemed that the day before, Genma was mumbling about getting a nice steak sukiyaki for lunch. Kuno, having wizened up as to WHY Ranma had fiancées, decided to give Genma the lunch and in return, the old panda had to engage the pigtailed girl to him.

Of course, Genma wasn’t above selling Ranma’s future AGAIN. Sure, Genma had made it a point never to sell off his SON again, but that didn’t mean anything about not selling off his... ‘Daughter’...

Then there was the appearance of Ukyo’s father, Haruka Kuonji. It seemed that Ranma’s pal Ucchan had gotten pregnant by her ‘kunoichi in waiting’, Konatsu. And instead of confessing that she had screwed up rather royally, Ukyo told her father that Ranma had done the deed, and because of that, Haruka was out for his blood.

And the insanity didn’t end there! Then came Nodoka. As soon as she heard that her son was being engaged as a ‘wife’ for someone, the Saotome Matriarch was out for BLOOD. Particularly Ranma’s!

Of course, hearing that her son had ‘knocked up’ Ukyo, or so the rumors went, Nodoka had become VERY forgiving... She even went as far as to give Ranma some more tips on how to please a woman, and that she just couldn’t wait to see her first grandchild.

But still, the engagement Genma made recently for Ranma to marry Kuno was pure heresy in her mind, and using Nerimian logic, she saw it as Ranma’s fault entirely. So, even while she was praising him, she was chasing her son and waving her katana about.

Thinking to lay low for a few days, Ranma was trying to save his own hide... Without anyone getting hurt in the process.

But that didn’t last long. They had found him quite easily. Ranma considered that his own fault, as he should have come up with a better hiding place than under the bridge...

That is when thing’s got blurry for Ranma. He didn’t remember what happened, but he did know that he let it all out. All of the anger, sadness, and fear that Ranma had bottled up inside him since he was a kid came out all at once...

And, to use an old saying... “There went the neighborhood.”

Since then, Ranma had become a drifter of sorts. He had no place to go and to be able to afford a life on the move without stealing, Ranma also became a ‘treasure hunter’ of sorts. Ranma just went all about the world, looking for whatever had financial value that he could find and sell to a private collector or museum.

Granted, Ranma wasn’t that well-known a ‘tomb raider’ as to get any sort of media coverage or acknowledgment for his deeds, but those of the higher-ups in the field of Archaeology, or those that knew the ‘who’s-what’s-and-whys’ of their trade that had heard of his name.

And so, while Ranma didn’t have a ‘real’ home anymore, he most certainly was able to keep his mind off of it with his trips to find riches and knowledge...

Not to mention the hefty bank account he had made for himself with the auctions and transactions where he was able to sell off his findings. And since he didn’t have a home or pay many taxes, the majority of the money Ranma piled up went to his traveling expenses and occasional vehicle and equipment rentals.

Still, the sun was shining as Ranma came into the grounds of his latest project...

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(Posted Fri, 24 Oct 2003 02:24)


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