Ifurita 1.5: I'm not dead! [Episode 73853]

by Hikaru

Nabiki remembered the time that Kinnosuke had fallen from a helicopter without a parachute. He had made a large dent in the ground, but had sneaked out of the hospital a couple of days later without paying. If Kinnosuke could fall out of the sky, hit the ground without splatting or even being knocked out, and get away, there was no way Nabiki was going to let a 120 foot drop kill her.

It still hurt like a doozy, though. Nabiki picked herself up as one of the androids helped her to her feet. This one was a generic model, all metal and plastic, obviously an android.

"Error," it said. "This human should be dead after fall from that height."

"Well, I'm not dead," said Nabiki. She waved a hand in front of the android. "See? Alive. And you've convinced me. You're an android and that's a giant robot. Bye now."

"All programming indicates that a fall of 120 feet would cause irreparable damage to humans." The android grabbed Nabiki's waist in its metallic arms and hefted her over its shoulder.

"I'm *all right*," said Nabiki. "Let me go!"

"Programming indicates malfunction. Speech from a dead human is erroneous input and must be ignored."

"There is a problem with the system," said Kumiko.

"What happen to Sneaky Girl?" asked Shampoo.

"Nabiki will be fine, but the low grade guard androids down there aren't programmed to recognize how hard to hurt the people from your neighborhood are."

"So what's going to happen to her?" asked Akane.

"If I can convince the androids that she isn't dead, nothing," said Kumiko.

"Can't you just turn them off?" asked Akane. "Or reprogram them."

"I am not authorized to command or control them and for any effect other than verbal convincing I will need to contact a supervisor to...."

"Never mind that!" yelled Akane. "What's going to happen to my sister if you can't stop them?"

"She'll be processed by the system," replied Kumiko. "A death is unheard of and there are procedures in place to compensate you for an accidental death in a dangerous area."

"Just tell me what 'processed by the system' means!"

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(Posted Sat, 07 May 2005 02:31)


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