"Indeed, the Emerald Isle," proclaimed the rat-spectre. "And soon you shall walk her very streets..."
"Oh... wait, its a place?"
Were-rats can't sweatdrop, so the ghost made due with panting heavily, which gained the boy's attention. "You out of breath?"
"Of course not, I AM a ghost," she noted unneccessarily. "Now, we must see about getting ready for your trip."
"This 'Ireland' place far away?"
"You could say that. There," she nodded. "We're ready."
"Huh," blinked Ranma questioningly. "You didn't do anything."
"Yes, I did. I moved out of your way. You think the wererat kingdom can afford to pay your way there? You're running, kiddo." She smiled, displaying two not-especially attractive incisors. Ranma shuddered. 'Man,' he thought, 'if the Tendos' true form, then Ucchan and Kodachi's points just went up.' "Enough dallying," complained the rodent woman, shoving at his back. "Just start moving and don't stop until you see nothing but red hair and funny little shoes."
"Y'know, that's a very stereotypical statement and not in good taste," commented Ranma.
"I meant the leprachauns!" she griped. "Not the Irish in general you putz. And you didn't even know that Ireland was a country a moment ago."
"About that. Well, I was really just trying to buy time," he admitted. "Its not everyday you get charged with a sacred mission to save a bunch of weird-ass rodent people from someone actually deranged enough to want to rule over their hideous and likely disease carrying race."
"Why you! We are an immaculately hygienic people, thank you very much."
"Just answer me this," requested Ranma waving his arms placatingly. "How did you die?"
"Not that its any business of yours," grumbled the woman-rat, "but I drowned in my own feces and dead skin."
Ranma shuddered.
Shaking his head, he managed to say, "So, point me in the right direction, and I'll mosey."
"Oh, don't worry," she dismissed, absently nibbling on her tail. "You're a were-cheetah. You'll get there eventually."
"Er, and could you specify where it is these three abominations against all that pure and sanitary (that I'm saving for some incomprehensible reason) are being held?"
"The leprachauns have fortified a ruin in County Clare." She paused as lightning flashed behind. "You must make with poste haste to Bunratty Castle!"
"...That is the worst pun I have heard in the history of fanfics. I'm seriously considering just killing you now and putting an end to this entire farce."
"But its a real place! Honest! And you can't kill me. I'm already dead!" She sniffed, haughtily. "Now vamoose!"
With a resigned sigh, Ranma shrugged his shoulders, and concentrated on his speed. Suddenly, his were-cheetah form manifested, and...
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(Posted Fri, 08 Apr 2005 07:20)
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