"Aaahhh!" THWAM! "Y'know, they don't build a lot of jumping around room on these planes."
"Something going on? I heard a crash. Oh. Try not to put any holes in the plane, Ranma-koibito. That can be quite hazardous." Kiyone holstered her gun.
"A gun?!" Ranma hadn't seen that many guns.
"I believe you're right, that is what they're called." Kiyone nodded. "What's the old saying? 'If you can kill your enemies before they kill you - that's not being unfair - it's survival.' Something like that."
Asuka grinned as she checked something. "Big guns. I always did like big guns."
"You know the old saying about big guns?" Misato snickered.
"The bigger the gun, the less often you've got to hit the target," said Asuka. "Besides, since this is mainly martial arts around here - I figure I better use mine."
"I thought you weren't a martial artist," Ranma pointed out.
"I've had the basics," corrected Asuka. "I'm also pretty good with a lot of melee weapons and small arms. Speaking of which, got any close quarter weapons?"
Kiyone pointed. "Corner foot locker. Just grab one or two. We don't want you falling behind because you're carrying too much weight."
"Hmmmm. AH," Asuka held up a jitte. "Man I ain't seen one of these in awhile."
Misato looked over the next locker. "Let me see. Ohhhhh. Smith & Wesson - feminine protection you can count on."
Rei merely looked over the weapons before settling down again, slipping something up one sleeve of her kimono.
"You should pick something smaller, Miss Soryuu," advised Kiyone. "The recoil on that hand cannon is likely to cause injury."
"I'll use both hands," indicated Asuka. "And call me Asuka. We're going into battle and 'Miss Soryuu' sounds so formal."
"Just so ya know, I don't actually need any help or nothing," said Ranma.
"Hey, Japanese citizen gets abducted, it's a matter for the JSDF," said Misato.
"Well, I think it's a matter for the police," said Asuka. "That puts the ball in my court."
"Evil criminal masterminds or magic princes, sounds like something I should look into," tried Kiyone.
Ranma sat back in the chair. While it wasn't terribly comfortable, it beat Kuno's rowboat.
Akane woke up and knew a moment of panic. She'd just done 200 feet of freefall into the pavement!
"Will she be ready for the ceremony, doctor?"
"She'll be in a full body cast for awhile, but we can wheel her in for the ceremony. Don't worry, she doesn't even need to be conscious for it."
Akane panicked when she found she couldn't move. She was in a body cast! In a hospital! How badly was she injured?
"Good. And the top secret thing that we spoke of earlier?"
"Smooth as silk... " the voices were moving away. "... the device is in place... ... shouldn't be too much scarring."
Akane grit her teeth. What had they done?!
"... light flaky crust... "
"... check out the cream filling... "
Akane frantically tried to move. The perverts!
"Is it ready?" said the magical prince.
"Take a look," said the mad scientist, whipping the lab sheet off.
"Hmmm. You've done it! This has to be the best baklava you've ever made!"
"I've been trying for so long, but this has to be the best variant recipe I've come across."
"What of the dummy?" the magical prince asked politely.
"Oh we've got the fake Akane ready to be grabbed," said the mad scientist. "However, there was a problem when we did the brain tapes."
"Well, you never did get the thing to be able to read too deeply or extrapolate," said the prince, "not to mention the fact that when the warranty expires or she touches soy sauce - she'll turn into a rampaging giant monster or something."
"Should last long enough for you to get on your honeymoon," admitted the mad scientist. "The only problem is that she has only a few phrases she can say."
"Same with all the doppelgangers. What's this one do?"
The mad scientist put his glasses over his eyes and took out a clipboard. "Let's see. The Akane Mark II can say:
"Ranma you idiot!
PERVERT!
I'm a martial artist too!
Come to mommy, P-chan!
That jerk!
How much?
It's a bargain!
Whassup, fool?
Yo, you're one fine looking mama.
Sure thing, honey.
No way!"
The prince stared. "That doesn't completely sound like the petit flower I was expecting."
"Some of it may have been left overs from the last time we made one, but most of it came from Miss Tendo." The mad scientist shrugged. "What can I say?"
"Well, work on the version 3.0 when you have the chance," said the magical prince. "Just imagine. She can beat the best martial artist in the area - Ranma Saotome. An entire army of Akane Tendo sent loose to ravage and pillage at will!"
"If it works out," agreed the mad scientist.
Meanwhile:
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(Posted Mon, 24 Nov 2003 13:04)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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