But that did not matter to Urd as she strode onto the stage in high heels, stockings, a tight midthigh skirt, tight blouse, and glasses and held a pointer in her hands.
In other words, she looked like some high school kid's idea of a dream teacher.
Standing to one side of the screen, she said loudly, "Okay boys and girls, it's time for the 'Love Love Lesson's review of the day!"
Cheers came up, and she smiled at them all before continuing. Using the pointer, she tapped the screen and up came the image of the Third Child came up as he was now.
"Here we have the center of our story, Mister Shinji Ikari, and boy is he making me proud!" She sniffed and mimed wiping a tear from her eye. "Not only has he gone and become a real man, he's got four... count 'em, one, two, three and four women interested in him!"
Another tap of the pointer and the screen turned to an image of SD forms of Ritsuko, Misato, Asuka, and Rei. "Here we have the four ladies in question. Each of them has something that they can give to our darling boy, and there is something that he can give to them. As of yet, he's only managed to be with two of them, but that may change soon enough..."
The image changed with another tap, and the full size Ritsuko in the image from her NERV ID. "Here we have Ritsuko Akagi, head scientist at NERV and all around attractive lady, with some major problems. She's been doing some very nasty things, and if anyone found out, she'd be up a tree with help. But now with the assistance of our very own Shinji, she's has the chance for redemption and shared bedroom passion!"
"And here's another of the lucky ladies that's gotten to bed our boy," the Norn of the Past commented as another tap had changed the screen to an image of Misato's ID photo. "Misato Kitsuragi's liked him for a long time, but had never had the will to go through with it. Plus, she's been slowly falling into a situation in which she was not about to get out of. Now though, she's planning more fun with our boy, and enjoying every moment of it. She even managed to get him to understand that she liked what they did!"
"Now we come to Asuka Sohryu Langely," Urd began as her tap brought up the redhead's photo, "She's got some spunk, and under all that pride she wants our Shinji. But her control's fraying, so it's only a matter of time before something happens. Now, it's up to her if she'll miss out on the chance she could have or snatch up a wild time on that night!"
"Our next photo is of..," Urd began, and then stared at the screen. "What the..?!"
On it was an image of a very drunk Urd pulling a definately reluctant Keiichi into a deep kiss.
"Next photo please," growled the platinum haired goddess, "And whoever stuck that in there is going to find a thunderbolt up their bottom."
Smoothing her clothing back to normal, much to the joy of the male audience, Urd regained her composure and muttered, "I hope Bell didn't see that..."
Once the proper picture came on, she was ready. "Here we have Rei Ayanami, First Child, tool in the plans of a megalomaniac and real boring girl. Only she's just been ordered to become Shinji's girlfriend, and has just learned about the possible joys that await her! But she has to remember that she's still has to put all that research into practice. Heh."
"And now for the only problem at the moment for our boy and his lady friends. Gendo Ikari!" The pointer snapped out and an image of the Commander appeared on it. But this time, instead of the clear image that even Ritsuko had gotten, this one was written over in marker. Someone had made his face look like some sort of gargoyle, and there were insults written all around him. Well, not exactly insults for some of them. 'Not Nice Man' and 'Mean Person' were not what one would call viscious insults. And the rest looked like stamps of 'Idiot', 'Jerk', 'Moron' and other similar words.
"Okay, next time I'll pass on Skuld and Bell's offer. ANY-way, this paragon of parental disintrest and megalomania is the Commander of NERV, Gendo Ikari. He's already recognised the possibilities of our boy's new physique, and is trying to take steps to avoid that chance. But what he does not know is that he's already too late, and that Shinji's already gotten Ritsuko and Misato! And that his choice for girlfriend is already ripe for the plucking!
"Yet, if he does find out that his plan has been already screwed over, what will he do?"
A tap of the pointer put Shinji's face on the center of the screen. "Our hero has already managed to get two gorgeous women to make love with him. Can he add two more, and possibly more?" The faces of Misato, Ritsuko, Asuka and Rei appeared around his with question marks taking up any free space.
"Keep on watching, same thread! Same Addventure!"
As the screen faded back into the goings on in Tokyo-3, the soft and dulcet tones of Belldandy could be heard asking, "Sister, could I speak with you?" while:
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(Posted Mon, 08 Dec 2003 01:32)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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