Ranma Does Nerima: Family (and Room) Arrangements [Episode 82683]

“Yes, I do.”

“He’s mine!”

“No way!  He gotta marry me!”

“GIRLS!”

“Oh happy day!  The schools are going to be joined!”

“Growf!”

“Err... don’t I have a say into this?”

Kimiko huffed.  She couldn’t believe her babies were letting their father manipulate them in his lame-ass succession plan.  And with a boy she hadn’t even approved off yet!

Kasumi, blushing, wasn’t even listening.  She could already picture herself... choosing the wedding dress... having pre-marital sex with her fiancé... walking the aisle next to her future husband... the wedding night... cooking for her hubby... doing her other marital duty... patting her round belly... her man carefully making love to a pregnant Kasumi... plenty of pigtailed little kids running in the house... the happiness... the fulfillment... the sex... lots and lots of sex.

Nabiki, although mightily distracted by her raging hormones, was also thinking about the future, though not in the same terms.  Not only that stud in front of her was hung like a horse, but he could turn into a beautiful, big-breasted redhead to boot!  And she could have him as fiancé?  Ruling his life, deciding his career, both as loving wife and trusted agent?  Now way in hell she was going to let pass such an opportunity!  She could already see him becoming famous, the next uncontested star of the porn world, and Nabiki Tendō Saotome getting rich.

Not to mention it was out of question that her sis would stay the only ones to get a round with that big, juicy, fat cock... now it was her turn!

Akane’s thoughts were a bit different.  She was convinced that she couldn’t let her poor, innocent sisters fall into the hands of that big, yummy, hunky, beefy... ahem... pervert!  She had to sacrifice herself in order to save Nabiki and Kasumi’s virtues... err... to protect their health and sanity!  They’ll never be strong enough to endure repeated screwing with that monstrous dick.  Only she could survive it, thanks to her martial art training.  So, she had to gave up her dream of winning Tōfū-sensei (who’s smitten with Kasumi anyway) and become that hentai’s fiancé, even if that meant getting ravaged every night by that humongous, terrific, long, hard, manly tool... *drool*

“I can’t believe it...” mumbled Kimiko.  Her three girls were all staring vacantly at a nervous Ranma, lost in their kinky daydreams.  Sure, the boy was better mounted than any guy of his age — or probably any age — that she or her daughters had ever seen, but it wasn’t reason enough to accept a dumb arranged marriage.  They didn’t know him yet, nor if they are compatible, or if they could get along, not to forget if he’d agree to be a good son-in-law and lay their mother too.

“Kasumi-chan... what about Tōfū-sensei?  Have you forgotten him?  I’m pretty sure he’s on the verge of proposing, too!” insisted the mother.

“Oh my!”  Kasumi blinked, her bubble broken, looking a little embarrassed.  “Hu... well... but if it’s family duty... I’m sure Tōfū-chan will understand... and he’ll always stay a good friend of the family, anyway.  I’m certain Ranma-san won’t object....”

In other words, she intended to keep the good doctor as a lover.  Not that Kimiko minded, Ono would always be welcome in her house or bed, but she’d gotten used to the idea of him marrying Kasumi.

Akane, on the other hand, glared shortly at her sister (even if her thoughts on the subject were surprisingly similar).  “Humph!  Anyway, that’s unimportant because it’s me that pervert had to marry, since he dishonored me!”

Nabiki raised an eyebrow, turning to face her little sis.  “Oh, really?  Don’t be silly, Akane-chan, how many guys...”

“Shut up!  Kasumi-chan, you’re free to marry Tōfū-sensei since I’m volunteering.”

The eldest daughter wanted to protest, but Nabiki beat her to the punch.  “But Onēchan got ‘dishonored’ too, Akane-chan, have you forgot?  At least, if those cries and moans were any indications....”

Kasumi, as appropriate in front of her father, blushed properly.

“Maybe, but I got first dib!” childishly countered Akane.

“Only because we let you...” retorted Nabiki.

“Ano... listen...” Ranma tried to distract the girls fighting over him, but the sudden apparition of a frightening demon-head startled him.  “GAAH!”

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LITTLE BABIES, BOY?!” bellowed Sōun, in full over-protective father mode.

“Sōun-chan!  Don’t make a fool of yourself, and calm down...” scolded Kimiko.  “How do you think our daughters could choose a husband if they don’t first assess what are his marital talents?  Don’t be such a prude.”

Her husband deflated very fast and held his head low.  “Yes dear.”

Ranma sweatdropped.  That family sure was weird.  He already got a big clue of it in the bathroom — he’d been innocent but not enough to think the way the three girls jumped him was normal.  Now he got more confirmation of it with the parents.

Already, when that stupid old man of his demonstrated the Jusenkyō curse by throwing him in the pond, he had had another demonstration of it.  At least, after ducking the worthless father in turn, Ranma-chan had gotten the satisfaction of seeing Kimiko and her daughters severely lash out at the panda.  Apparently, they considered making the ‘big oak’ (whatever they meant by that) disappear, even for a short time, quite distasteful, and held Genma responsible for this.

But then, Kimiko had nailed her/him with a kettle of nearly scalding water despite her (then his) loud protests.  Obviously, apart from checking how the curse worked, she largely preferred Ranma-kun to Ranma-chan.  The cowardly bear, of course, avoided getting similarly boiled and stayed a panda since then.

Sōun cleared his throat, trying to regain a semblance of dignity after folding once again in front of his wife.  “Ahem.  Now, however, since our dear daughters agree to the engagement, I don’t see why we should delay it.  Now that we’re certain Ranma-kun is indeed a boy — and this curse is not that a big deal...”

Ranma frowned and glared daggers at the Tendō patriarch.  Turning into a girl, not a big deal?

“... he can choose a fiancée,” obliviously continued the man.  “So boy, which one do you want?  You’ve already met Kasumi — she’s nineteen —, Nabiki — seventeen —, and Akane — sixteen.”

“Huuu...” intelligently mumbled Ranma.  He would have been more at ease if he’d knew just what they were asking for him.  Sure, the girls were cute, and he had to admit he’d like to spend more time with them, but what was a fiancé supposed to do exactly?

“Don’t try to rush things, Sōun-chan,” interjected Kimiko.  “The girls liking him is a good thing, but I’ve yet to give my approval to this boy!”

Everybody (save Ranma) gave an imploring look at the matriarch.  Genma and Sōun were seeing their dream of uniting the schools crumbling, and the girls were denied their chance to get another round with the Wild Horse.  Ranma, for his part, looked relieved.  He didn’t like to be pushed into anything.

“I didn’t say there won’t be any engagement,” pursued Kimiko.  “But I want first to judge by myself if Ranma-kun would make a good son-in-law.  As for determining which daughter he should marry, there’s no hurry.  The children should have the time to get to know each other, and decide by themselves.  Is that alright with everybody?”

The girls nodded eagerly, with a knowing smirk for Nabiki, a happy smile for Kasumi and a resigned scowl for Akane.  Genma and Sōun agreed more reluctantly; they would have liked the engagement and marriage to be done shortly — in, say, a week at most — but as long as the option was open, they could concede to the mother’s wish.

Ranma sighed.  “Well, that’s okay with me, I guess.  I can stay for a while... but I gotta finish my martial art training, and find a cure for my curse before thinking of settling down...” he prudently answered.  A protesting growl from the panda was silencing with a fist in his fat belly.

“Don’t worry, Ranma-kun,” soothingly said Nabiki.  “I’m sure we can find ways for... helping you with your girl curse... and feel much better about it,” she finished with a smirk.

Akane rolled her eyes and Kasumi gave the middle sister a slightly disapproving look.

“Hu... thanks...” acknowledged Ranma, though he was unsure of what she meant exactly by that... or why he felt a sudden cold shiver running down his spine.

“Well, that’s settled then!” concluded Sōun, back in a jolly mood.  Standing up, he beckoned the guests, “Follow me, Saotome-kun, Ranma-kun, I’ll show you the room where you’ll sleep....”

“Good idea, anata,” added Kimiko.  “While you’re at it, you can move your own futon there.”

Sōun stopped in his tracks and blinked.  “What was that, dear?”

“I said, you can move your own futon to the guest room.  That’s where you’ll sleep by now.  I’m sure you and your old friend will have plenty of stories to tell each other late at night.”

“But Kimiko-chan...” whined the puppy-eyed husband.

“Why, dear, you thought I would forgive you that easily for never mentioning to me that you had planned to marry my little daughters before they were even born, and never bothered to ask for my approval?  Think about it again...” she explained with a deceptively sweet tone.

“But-but-but-“ stammered Sōun, desperate to weasel out of this unduly cruel punishment.  A light bulb flashed in his mind.  “But... it’s going to be cramped with three people in the same room, and I don’t want our guests to be uncomfortable....”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, Sōun-chan.  Ranma-kun won’t be sleeping with you.  A young man needs his space, after all.  We surely can accommodate him in...”

“My room!” cut her off Nabiki.  “I’ll make him comfy!”

“Oh my... no, my room would be better.  It’s bigger, and it’s my duty to make sure guests are feeling at ease....”

“What!  Out of question I let that pervert roam in the house!  I’ll watch him out in my room!”

Kimiko coughed in her hand to get back their attention.  “Actually, I was thinking of MY bedroom.  It is improper for unmarried girls to invite a young man in their room, even if he’s a prospect fiancé, don’t you think?”

Her steely glare hinted that there wouldn’t be any more discussion about this.  Nor that she’d tolerate any question about how proper it was for a married woman to welcome said young man while kicking out her husband.

“You won’t mind sharing a room with me, Ranma-kun?” she then asked the boy with a disarming smile.

If Ranma had any objection, they evaporated like mist under the sexy woman’s gaze.  “Hu... n-no madam... not at all...” he gulped.

Sōun whimpered pitifully, rivers of tears flowing from his eyes.  The panda gently taped his shoulder in support.