[Episode 92271] [Episode 92271]"Spite." Ukyo grimaced.
"What?" Akane blinked, looking back at her partner curiously.
"Nothing, nothing." The boyish chef waved the comment off, "It's not like I hate you, or despise your existence, or wish you'd get a disease that turns your organs into liquid shit for all the emotional heck you caused my Ranchan. Nope, nothing like that at all." her tone of voice almost convinced the young Tendo girl that she wasn't joking.
Akane tripped, falling face first into the refuge of the Japanese sewers. She kicked around for a bit, causing a large waves of water to splash around, the smelly liquid drenching Ukyo and landing a small turd on top her head.
"No.." she said through gritted teeth, "No, I don't hate you."
***
Somewhere close by in the Sewers...
"Hey Shinnosuke.." Yamada, a rather slim city worker wearing a bright orange suit asked, "Shouldn't we at least warn those girls of the sewer monster?"
"Eh... no." Shinnosuke, a rather obese slug of a Japanese man replied, slamming his wrench against a pressure gauge, "Little Tarrasque ain't nothin to worry about. He's harmless!"
The sounds of screams, unreasonable horror, and pleas for help sounded from one of the deep dark tunnels, which both mean ignored. "Yeah, yer right. He certainly likes it when girls drop by, don't he?"
Shinnosuke snorted, "Damn that lizard. He gets more women den we do! It just ain't right!" he slammed the wrench against the pressure gage again, breaking the glass covering.
Yamada winced, shaking nervously as he sniffed the air. Amid the disgusting smell of piss, feces, and discarded tampons the tell tale smell of gas leaking reached his nostrils, "Eh, Shin.. I don't think we were suppose to break that."
"No shit." Shin grumbled, before groaning as his helmet flashlight started going out. "Hey, pass me up yer flashlight." he managed to say before the lights went out.
***
"Oh dear, do you need help, Ms. Lon?" Konatsu asked, daintily holding one hand up to her mouth in a show of concern.
Cologne blinked, "What?" idly trying to push the little fat kid dressed up in a blue hat, with a matching blue shirt and shorts, the latter doing nothing to hide his grotesque flabby legs.
"Ahh, come on miss! Unca Billy said I can't get my merit badge unless I help an old decrepit crone cross the street!" The Boy Scout complained, skillfully dodging the woman's attempts to gouge his eyes out.
"Boy, if you say that one more time, I'm going to rip out your tongue and smack you in the face with it!" Cologne bit out angrily.
The boy blinked, letting go of the old lady as he whipped out a small plastic book and began leafing through it, some how dodging all of the old ladies attacks in the process.
"Ms. Lon! Think of the children!" Konatsu exclaimed prissily
"I'm thinking of the damn gene pool, you cross dressing twit!" Cologne retorted, flashing out with her staff in an attempt to collapse the devil child's throat, missing by a mile as the kid back stepped, voiding all the laws of nature with his fat pudgy body.
"Ah ha!" the fat little kid crowed, idly smacking away the Amazon elders staff when it attempted to collapse his chest, "See! If I help an old decrepit crone on permenate PMS I get double badges! Oh sweet!"
Cologne growled, "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!" she screamed, overcoming the boy's almost casual defense, hitting along a series of pressure points that caused his head to explode in a gruesome fashion.
"No! You killed him!" Konatsu screamed, stepping away from the fat body of the kid as his blood began to pool around the corpse.
Cologne snorted, "Trust me, it had to be done!"
***
Billy shuddered suddenly, "Something.. something really bad just happened!" he suddenly exclaimed.
"Hey! Stop jerking around! How am I suppose to give you sucky with you jerking around like that?!" Sakura, a cheap blond prostitute gripped up from his crotch.
"Quite so, Quite so." The Boy Scout commander said with a grin, "You know... " he shivered, intense pleasure and relief washing through his body, ".. never said how much this was going to cost!"
"5000 yen." the cheap whore chirruped, standing up now that her work had been finished.
Billy nodded seriously, zipping up his pants, "Nice price. Now fuck off, you skank."
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Sakura screamed as the man walked out of the alley, mingling in with the passersby and disappearing. "Oh crap, Jiro is going to be sooo pissed!"
***
Ranma grunted, consciousness slowly restoring itself as some one knocked on the door loudly. He spared the unconscious woman to his side a glance, before frowning, "Damn it. Not awake yet." he sighed, then shrugged mentally and latching onto one of her breasts, sucking on the teet and biting her nipple softly.
Knock, knock, knock, "House keeping!"
"GO AWAY!" the young man shouted, before returning to the woman's breast. She started moaning under his tongues attention, still unconscious. Ranma smirked mentally, reaching down with one hand and tracing her pussy lips, fingers hovering no more then a centimeter above the sensitive flesh, leaving maddening tingling sensations in it's wake.
Leona groaned, squirming underneath his touch, yet still not awakening.
Knock, Knock, Knock, "House keeping!"
Ranma grunted, casting the door a scathing glare, "I said GO AWAY! GO AWAY AND DROWN YOURSELF DAMN IT!" he shouted, once again returning to his quest of awakening the woman beneath him, urged on by the dust.
Knock, Knock, Knock, "House Keeping! I'll suck your dick long time!"
Leona snapped awake, "GO AWAY BEFORE I DECIDE TO TEAR OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!" she screamed in response to the woman's offer.
Ranma blinked, "Hey! I thought you were asleep!" he accused, pulling his hands back some.
"I am." Leona stated dangerously, "Don't you dare stop!" grabbing his hand and placing it back over her petals.
***
Some where deep in the cursed earth.
"Eeek!" Akane screamed, reflexively bringing down her mallet in defense.
Ukyo groaned under the strike, "No.. No.. I don't hate you..."
"Ukyo! I'm sorry!" Akane cried, "I didn't know it was you! I saw that thing on your head and.. and.. and.. and just why the heck were you wearing a turd on your head?"
"Must.. resist.. urge.. to.. kill.."
***
Mousse came awake with a start, the haze over his mind having only increased in time since he was unable to sate his lusts in the least. He needed to find her.. he needed to claim her... he needed.. his Cologne-chan! Wonderful thoughts of spearing her wrinkly old ass summoning a familiar and entirely wanted rise in his pants.
Snapping the rather pathetic bonds of rope holding him in place, Mousse climbed to his feet and stalked out of the room. He could feel his Cologne-chan.. he knew she wasn't exactly close by, but he could feel her.. almost like.. almost like he was linked to her.
The sounds of Shampoo screaming "DO IT! SHAMPOO LOVE MR. ROBOTO!" didn't even bother him as he stumbled through the main chamber of he restaurant.
"Cologne-chan.. it's time to knock the dust off that pussy." the myopic boob grunted through clenched teeth, before slamming into the closed door.
Yes, even in lust, Mousse was still blind as a bat.
***
"Nabiki dear? Why did we come here?" Soun asked, staring at the Saotome compound strangely.
Nabiki shrugged, "Who cares? This is one place Ranma might bring a girl too, and if anyone asks we can honestly say we looked for him, instead of saying we wasted all this time goofing off and doing nothing productive." she explained, as she was talking to a child.
"Oh... but.. the schools.." Soun whimpered.
"Are officially fucked." Nabiki snorted, "I don't care how clueless that boy is. After all the time that's past, if he hadn't already slipped this blue hair woman his horse, then its possible he couldn't get it up to begin with."
"Oh."
***
"Hail Lord Il... what's that god awful stench?" Excel Excel blinked, sniffing at the air curiously.
"I don't know..." Hyatt went down in a pull of blood.
"Excel!" a pompous and entirely snobbish voice of Lord Ilpallazo was heard, "Did you forget to pay the light bill to our secret secret entirely secret lair?"
"Ah, yes, well, you see, Excel Excel went to pay it, you see, but Excel forgot when, well, Excel doesn't remember why she forgot, but she forgot nonetheless and must be punish. Yes, in order for the glorious organization that is ACROSS to conquer the world under its esteemed rule Excel must be punished! Yes, Excel must.. no wait, Excel doesn't want to be punished, but if Excel isn't punished then it looks bad on Lord Illpallazo!" The senior officer of ACROSS blithered about stupidly.
"Excel, once I find my matches, I'm pulling the cord." Illpallazo warned from some where in the oppressive darkness. "Ah, here it is."
The sound of a match striking flaring to life, before the gas in the air exploded violently, was heard.
***
"Damn it Shin!" Yamada hissed hatefully, "The sewers flooded with gas fumes! How long is it going to take for you to fix the damn gauge?!"
Shin grunted, twisted the gas nozzle closed finally, "There, you sissy, it's off. Happy now?"
Yamanda grunted, "Yeah, about.. hey.. what's that sound?" the skinny sewer worker strained his ears, a subtle 'whooshing' sound coming from down of the connecting sewer pipes.
"Eh? We closed the over flow, didn't we?" Shin grumbled, scratching his head in thought.
The sight of a wall of burning death approaching them caused both men to suddenly realize they should have put on cleaner socks this morning. The last three seconds of their lives were spent wondering why they couldn't think of anything more important then their stupid stinky socks.
***
Deeper within the cursed earth.
Akane grumped, pushing against the grail, "Well, this was a waste of time." she snorted. The sewer the two had searched ended up spilling into Tokyo bay, even now she could see the busy little ships filtering about over the cold water. "Damn, it's almost dark." she said with a sigh, the prospect of finding her missing drugged fiancée seeming less and less likely a possibility.
Ukyo glared back down the sewer hatefully, "I swear, the things I go through for my Ranchan!" before turning her glare back on the youngest Tendo.
Akane snorted, "He's MY fiancée Ukyo! Honestly, why do you always..." she froze suddenly, which grabbed the boyish chef's attention.
"Akane?" Ukyo blinked she waved her hand in front of her face, getting no response. Following her gaze, the chef whimpered. "What are the odds a wall of flame would come now? With us here no less?"
***
"A recent gas leak was the cause of a massive explosion today in he Nerima district. Details are sketchy, but we are fairly certain there have been at least two deaths reported from my accident." the news caster sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "In other news, around the same time of the sewer eruption, witnesses reported seeing two blasts of fiery light fly through the night sky, crashing some where in the Juuban district. Upon arrival, we found the acclaimed Tuxedo Mask beaten ruthlessly, the remains of a mallet lying nearby. Two sets of foot prints were discovered walking away from the attack."
Genma grunted, "Yo, barkeep? Can't yah change the channel? This is like watching reruns of those stupid Looney tune cartoons from the Americas!"
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(Posted Fri, 13 Feb 2004 01:18)
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