Mind you, that was her.. *uniquely* antagonistic bent for finding news in operation. As most of those that had had to deal with McKensie in the past could tell you, it simply didn't work outside of situations of duplicity. In other words. Linda was screwing them all over to come up with a story!
The representatives for FYI in particular were shaking their heads over it. The main broadcaster looked into her camera and said "The tour of the citidel here is barely begun, but already we have seen a wide religious tolerance shown, as well as techniques for understanding far beyond anything Earth has developed to date. This is Murphy Brown, FYI." After the cameraman signaled the feed was over, Miss Brown ran along, easily making up the few steps the others had gone ahead. Her companion said "Hmm, a bit early isn't it?"
Murphy just looked at him. "Frank, you can always take away content--not that I'll allow it without much pain to Miles--but, we get exactly ONE shot at this interview/tour. Especially with that twit McKensie trying to make a enemy we don't have!"
Frank just gave up and rolled his eyes. He knew it was on, but he protested anyway, as that was his role in these things. He started "Dammit, Murph, do we have to get into these feuds? I know the girl's.." only to get interrupted.
"Frank, are you *listening* to her? She's literally turning everything the man says into a accusation or confession of whatever paranoid thing she can come up with! I'm starting to wonder if she's related to that Tendo headcase..."
Over in a Japanese psychiatry session, Tendo Akane sneezed. She'd been doing that a lot, her case worker noted, as he wrote "possible psychosomatic allergy to bad press" in the observation notebook. In a culture strongly into appearances and formality, this wasn't all that uncommon, after all.
Linda was meanwhile--of course--still on the attack. Now Tchon was aware that this female had something of a problem with reality by this time, but he was staying polite. He had no intention of starting a war if the Prince would suffer (literally) a blow from a equally deluded girl. Besides, the others seemed far more rational. The genasi, being of Earth spiritually, were usually unflappable and eminently logical in outlook, until the stress got to be too much, but he was a military man, and he could face this silly cow down, no problem.
He was passing some of the outwards-facing rooms, with easily-opened glass doors and small balconies facing out into the air. "And these are some of the Aerial Elves' quarters. They usually prefer living space allowing them more flight, and this citidel allows for it, so it's a highly coveted posting among those winged elves in the service of out Prince." Linda of course got right up in his face. "You are you trying to kid? Tell me, what munitions do you plan to bomb us with out of these bomb bays? Tell me, HOW are you planning to kill us?" She was off, and as she ranted, the Genasi sighed almost imperceptably.. almost.
That one far smarter seeming female whose news service was so intrguingly named, according to Tarre (once she'd been calmed down by said lady's somewhat harried-looking companion) just looked to the representative and gave a smile of encouragement, then went back to News-Gathering Mode with what the Genasi would swear was almost a audible *click*. Others seemed to sympathise in their own ways as well.
Then the tour leader's eyes widened and he tried to warn her, thinking of the potential disaster, while most news services filmed Linda. They too had noted the rather crimson-faced winged elf stalking towards Linda, and they saw a real story in how McKensie was shooting herself in the foot here. Besides, after all the stories she'd soured, they wanted to have this beatdown on tape. Stupid McKensie.
Grant Tchon this, his voice didn't waver a bit as he began "Excuse me, but those are, as I said, actually living domiciles.." This got nowhere fast as Linda simply ground over her host, as was her wont. "Yeah yeah, just another lie! TELL me how you want to bomb us already! I mean, that ugly rug and those ridiculous wind chimes are.." Linda herself was then interrupted. Beinging hauled back by the hair without warning will do that, usually.
Evenb while he mentally sighed, Tchon tried to head it off. "Delise, I know, but Ranma doesn't want a war!" He warned, even as the rather ticked-off and tear-witholding flying elf turned Linda in mid-fall so she fell across the now-seated and decidedly female lap backside up. The leatherclad lady simply began whapping Linda McKensie's ass--hard--with her wing, even as she listed her grievences with the reporter.
"This isn't about war, or even Ranma, although after some other headjob clobbered him for hailing her politely, I bet the prince understands!" *whap, whap, whap* "This is about justice! I understand that these are just another form of town crier or Bard, and they shouldn't just make up the news as they go along!" *whap, whap, whap* "I just had my race insulted and denied, my late husband's and my lifebond gifts impugned, my *own* rug called ugly!" *whap, whap, whap-whap-whap!* "And the little tart's getting into this" (most reporters shuddered in that too-much-information way on hearing that), "that or she's thinking she'll get confirmation from a mere spanking and get her way! Little slut! Gets wet thinking of starting a war!" The outraged flyer kept it up for another moment, before breaking off and starting to cry in her own right, in sheer frustration at how dense civilians could get.
Linda was humiliated! She yanked away, her hand snagging in the pouch Delise carried from her frantic struggle to get away, then she stood, shouting "You got that, right, Justin? Now we know the truth, they're all evil! I can get them, get them, get *all* the little fucks dead!" She crowed on and basically acted like a idiot, as Murphy and Frank (amongst others) just sighed in disgust. The lack of agreement was noted by those of Ranma's people present, or the twit might have started a war right there.
Linda also noticed the lack of any support among the disgusted reporters, and basically went Chernobyl. "..What? What? Don't tell me you all are going to BUY that garbage! I'll just have to appeal to the GOOD people, all my fans, *they'll* kill all these awful.." She raved on, as the Genasi mindspoke pointedly, passing a message to get a escort to lead the obviously deranged reporter the heck away before anything else went wrong.
Before they could do more than step into the chamber the group was in, however, Linda clenched her fists while screaming about how "..I wish you'd all see me get what's coming to me!" as her finger slipped onto and into the circle of the ring she'd snagged from Delise by mistake. The Ring of a Wish, to be precise. Which explains why no-one, not those seeing Justin's transmission (now live), not the reporters, and not any of Ranma's people present, could look away as Linda got Punished. After all--the Djinn handling the ring's Power was also a citizen.
Spankings, Flagellations, Electroshock, Dyed blue, forced Barney marathons, dying and being reincarnated about 50 times.. about 500 years of this kind of thing, all went down in the space of about a minute and a half for everyone else. One reporter asked Murphy "Please tell me that was a trick?" Murphy was about to snarl that obviously magic worked, for these people at least, but Frank saved her as usual (he's used to her temper).
"No, Peter, I'm afraid she WAS a Were-Llama for a second or two there.. You okay, man? I mean, I heard about the llama allergy you have.. Oh jeez, you're turning puce! Umm *anyone*? We have a allergy attack here!"
Perhaps irony had a hand, as it was Delice who tossed Peter a small stoppered vial of what seemed to be a liquid rainbow. "Here you go, it was my ring that caused that.. Damn, but I was saving that wish for a emergency!" As Peter drank it down (looking better by the time he'd lowered the vial), she explained "We have a few allergy issues. This many races, it's kinda inevitable." That got nods all around. Then Delice saw Linda.. as she'd wound up. Her bemused shock got the others to pay attention again...
Hitching in her efforts to control her impending laugh attack, Murphy wound up the entire mess for her viewers as Delice's own guffaws could be heard in the background. "Murphy Brown, FYI. As you have likely seen, Our colleague, well,loosely so, anyway, Linda McKensie apparently got a hold of a genuine magical artifact and went thru many changes, leading into this." Then she stepped out of view (to let off the hilarity, most likely) and let Frank and Jimmy the cameraman show the world in general the new Linda.. white-skinned with interesting black markings, dancing and swaying, and not saying a word as she alternated between telling tales thru dance and outright faking of things like being trapped in a box.
Thus it was, as Miles Silverberg (Murphy's much-wearied Head Exec) eloquently groaned in despair watching the feed back at the FYI studio, that he and the rest of the world saw Linda McKensie--the world's first Hareem Mime. "Oh God! Where's the--" He got pelted by Tums from about 5 people. They knew all about his Murphy act, and now was not the time!
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(Posted Tue, 02 Mar 2004 19:13)
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