[Episode 97496] [Episode 97496]Shinji blinked as memories suddenly rushed into his head, the memories of one Maya Ibuki. They all flashed by at a mile a minute, but he could see them all clearly; Maya telling her parents she was a lesbian only for her father to reject her, having papers falsely graded when male teachers found out she was lesbian, damn near being expelled from school on trumped-up plagiarism charges only to be saved by the female principal, not being able to find work at so-called “equal opportunity” employers before NERV took a chance on the outstandingly qualified technician, of being unwittingly turned into a demoness that feeds on sexual energy by that strange wizard... The memories of men stepping all over Maya, trying to ruin her while women supported her filled Shinji's mind, as crisp and clear as his own memories. And swirling around all of Maya's dark past was a single question: Why must she now live on men, the very beings that had so long thought to destroy her? As his genies' magic continued to work on him, he could read her soul like an open book, how the pain and confusion was ripping away at her, tearing away slowly at the kind woman that had once been. There was now a dark hatred in her heart, fed by the well-honed prejudices she's developed over the years and intensifying with each time she feeds, a deep, seething hatred and need for vengeance slowly consuming her every thought.
When the visions had finally ended, Shinji slumped over slightly and looked around him, gasping for air as he recovered from the sudden mental upload.
“Master!” Misato cried as she hugged him fiercely. “Are... Are you okay? Your eyes just suddenly glazed over and you stopped responding to us!”
“Y-Yeah... I'm fine...” Shinji managed between gasps, looking at the worried Misato as she released him.
Rei and Asuka both flanked his sides, the former carrying a glass of the milk while the latter had a plate of cookies. Shinji took both of them, putting them on the table and smiling at the two girls. “Thanks, you two,” he said warmly.
“So what was that about?” Asuka asked. “You know what's up with Maya now?”
Shinji nodded as he started eating, relaying to the genies everything he'd just seen, the memories, the conflict in Maya's mind and what it was slowly doing to her. He was relieved to see that they seemed to understand, judging by their alert gazes and timely nods. When he finished talking, he picked up another cookie and took a bite, looking at his three genies. “Well, that's about it, I think.”
“So Maya's new power, combined with her trained distrust of men, is causing her to lose her grip on reality?” Rei asked calmly.
“Sounds like it to me,” Asuka chirped with a nod.
“I think so, yeah,” Shinji confirmed. “It's just that, men have never really tolerated what she is, and she's gone though a lot of tough times over it.” Shinji sighed softly and looked down at himself. In some ways, he could relate to Maya: he'd not exactly been treated well by people around him most of his life either, and had felt bitter about it more than once.
“Funny,” Misato sighed softly as she spoke. “She never struck me as being gay.”
Asuka gave Misato a shocked glare as her eyes twitched, looking at her sister as though she'd eaten their Master's ring. “You haven't really been paying much attention, have you Misato?” she asked, her voice laced with sarcastic venom.
Shinji blinked as something else shot into his mind. A memory of not too long ago, when Maya...
“Misato?” Shinji looked at his oldest genie with sympathy and concern.
“Y-Yes, Master?” Misato's voice faltered slightly as she saw Shinji's face. It didn't look good at all.
“Misato... Maya... She killed Kaji.” Shinji's heart fell to his stomach as he saw Misato's eyes start to water up, her head slowly shaking with shock and denial.
“N-No...” She said softly, her voice slowly breaking into sobs. “You're l-lying...”
Asuka wasn't taking it too well either, looking at her Master with burning, her hands trembling as she fought off the urge to cry. “H-How do you know that, Master!?” she demanded.
“I... I just saw it now,” he replied sadly. “It was only her second feeding, and she...” Shinji gulped hard, trying to find the right words as his genies looked at him. “She's not herself!” he said in a near panic. “She can't deal with who she is now, and she's slowly losing herself to...”
Misato slammed her hands to the table and looked into Shinji's eyes, her own eyes cloudy as her tears fell from her eyes. “She killed him!? Why!?” *She slowly collapsed, her head in her arms as she cried on the table, her heart-wrenching sobs filling the room around them, even stunning Asuka, who slowly went to her side and hugged her in an attempt to comfort her.
Shinji hesitated in answering that question, but decided to try his best. “She's... I can only describe it as 'losing herself', like I said before.” He winced at his own words, knowing he'd have to try a little better to explain himself.
Sure enough, they didn't get it. “Losing herself?!” Asuka asked incredulously. “What kind of lame excuse is that!?” Misato and Rei both stared at Shinji in equal confusion, Misato trying to hold back her crying long enough to get the answer to Kaji's death.
“Well...” Shinji paused again, trying to find the right words. “When she took the demonic essence into herself and became a succubus, her barriers came down, so that she'd be able to survive as a sexual creature. However, as her sexual boundaries were torn, the walls she put around her darker feelings, in particularly her hatred of men, began to tumble as well. Not only that, she's confused and angry about being changed. A man had turned her, a woman who'd been wronged by men many times in the past, into a creature that needs men to survive. No longer as in control of herself as she used to be, she's lashing out in the only way she knows how...”
“Killing men as vengeance?” Rei asked softly. “What will that achieve?”
Misato and Asuka both had angry looks on them, suggesting that this information brought them no comfort.
Shinji decided to address Rei first. “She's at a point where she blames all men for everything that's happened to her in her life. The only reason she's not trying to help start 3rd Impact is because she wants to save women... The real humans, in her light.”
He then turned to Misato, who was about to say something rash. “Misato,” he said softly, “I wish you and Asuka would try to help her understand what she's doing is wrong.”
“What!?” they both chorused in shock.
“That damned bitch killed Kaji!” Misato screamed.
“Yeah, why should we help her!?” Asuka demanded.
“Because she needs it,” Shinji said. “More than anything, she needs help. Now you two, return to your gems. You can start in the morning.”
Both Misato and Asuka flashed hateful gazes at Shinji before turning into smoke and flowing into their gems. That leaved Rei with him.
“Shall I also try and help Maya, Master?” Rei asked, looking at him impartially.
“Yeah,” Shinji offered. “What do you suggest?”
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(Posted Sat, 03 Apr 2004 04:02)
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