“Ranma,” Asrial groaned as she started to get back onto her feet. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THOSE MEAN!?”
Blinking his eyes once, twice, thrice, Ranma asked, “What? I should know?”
As her left eye twitched, Asrial wondered if Ranma was joking or if he was seriously stuck with the intelligence-capacity of a mental midget.
“Ranma,” Sylia mumbled as she started to get onto her feet. “Please don’t tell me that your world is so against sex that you have NO CLUE how you frickin’ have a baby!”
“Hey!” Ranma shouted. “What is with you two? I mean, what do ‘fertility’ and ‘barren; have to do with babies?”
Turning their heads to look at each other, the Salusian and Lupina shared a look.
“Your world is that fucked up when it comes to being prudish, isn’t it?” Sylia asked, looking the Imperial Salusian Princess dead in the eye.
Her left eye twitching further, Asrial said, “We’re not THAT bad.” Though she had to admit, Ranma’s naïvety when it came to the workings of sexual anatomy was rather unnerving. “And he’s got SUCH a piece too, how can he not know!?” Asrial mentally screamed...
...And then blushed as she realized just what the hell she was thinking about. “Bad thoughts, bad thoughts.”
Scratching his head, Ranma couldn’t help but wonder what had Asrial turning red. “Look, can we just get a move on?” Ranma asked, the looks that the two women were giving him the creeps. He just wanted to get a move onto finding a town to get Asrial some parts for he ship.
“Oh, no!” Asrial started, stomping forward to step right in front of Ranma. Something about that statement of his, his ignorance about having kids... It just irked the Salusian to no end. “We’re not going anywhere until you realize what this means!”
Blinking his eyes, and wondering why Asrial was suddenly uppity, Ranma said, “Okay... So what does it mean?”
Looking stoic, Asrial raised a finger, ready to give Ranma the knowledge he so desired...
...And then she sputtered off, her hand lowering.
Rolling her eyes, the Lupina said, “Gods, not you too!”
“Hey, this is very sensitive stuff!” Asrial shouted at the lupine pokéwoman. “You can’t just blurt it out!”
Sylia huffed. “Please. For you two, EVERYTHING is ‘sensitive stuff’.” The Lupina shook her head in disgust. “I swear, I don’t know how your world has remained from the brink of collapse.”
Asrial growled. “HEY!”
“Well, it’s true,” Sylia stated. “Every time I try to explain something to you two, or try to get you to do something, you give me a hard time about it.”
Her eye twitching further, Asrial made a mental note to have that eye-tick checked out as she shouted, “HEY!!!”
Staring at the Lupina, Ranma blinked his eyes. “Uh, excuse me? But what the hell are you two talking about?”
Pointedly ignoring the irate Imperial Salusian, Sylia stared at Ranma. “Look, Ranma, I’ll be blunt. Fertility refers to the potency of a person’s ability to have children,” The Lupina shouted. “And the term ‘barren’ means a person is sterile. They just can’t make babies.”
“Okay,” Ranma answered.
Asrial’s eye twitched. “Okay? Just okay?”
“Yeah,” Ranma said. “So fertility means a person can have a kid, and a person can’t, right?” Ranma asked.
Sylia smiled, very proud that Ranma was taking this extremely well. Perhaps there was hope for him yet. “Of course.”
“Cool.” Ranma said. “So, you have to be ‘fertility’ to have a stork deliver a baby to your home, right?”
Ranma’s question was greeted by the tremor of a tremendous caused by the twin face-fault of a Salusian Princess and a Lupina pokéwoman.
Blinking his eyes, Ranma asked, “What?”
“Your world is doomed,” The Lupina mumbled from the ground. “Doomed, doomed, doomed...”
Crossing his hands over his chest, Ranma asked, “Hey!”
“Ranma...” Asrial grumbled as she got to her feet. “Do I have to spell it out for you?”
“Spell what out?” Ranma asked. “What is the big deal about fertility and barren!?”
“Well,” Asrial started. Blushing a bit, she got right up to his ear, and raised her hand to over his ear and her mouth. She then started whispering.
Ranma’s eye widened quite a bit. They got wider, and wider, and wider...
“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”
...And then Ranma took off into a dead sprint; screaming his head off as he flailed his arms.
Walking over to the Lupina, she pat the Salusian Princess on the shoulder. “Well, I think that went well, don’t you?”
Asrial’s eye twitched. LOTS. “I’ve REALLY got to get this checked,” Asrial mumbled to herself. Sighing, she told the Lupina, “Let’s go get him,” Asrial said as she took off into a sprint.
“Right behind you,” The Lupina agreed as she started running after the Salusian. One thing was very certain to the pokéwoman as she gave chase. “These people and their ways are just doomed. Doomed, doomed, doomed...”
“Great, this damn Lupina can’t hold a tune.”
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(Posted Sun, 16 May 2004 17:05)
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