"Neigh! I say we hire a bunch of thugs to club those damn baby seals! I want my fucking Sea Side resort up and running!" Rosie O'Donnell scowled, slamming her meaty fist on the cheap Poker table.
"Shut up!" Arnold snarled in response, "Clubbing seals for girly men! Use the C-4!"
Sasuke sighed irritably, pinching his nose, "People, we've already decided against those plans. Anthrax is the way to go."
Numerous members nodded, albeit hesitantly, in agreement.
"Very well, our next order.."
"I raise you California." Arnold snarled.
"Bitch." Bush growled dangerously, taking his cowboy hat off and flinging it to the side irritably, "I fold."
Arnold chortled evilly. "Yes! You girly man. Kerry is a girly man too!"
Kerry blinked. He hadn't been paying attention, reliving his moments in Vietnam and the numerous prostitutes he 'saved'. "Uh? No?"
Sasuke really really hated these clones. "Look, idiots. Our next order of business deals with case number 4786. He's woken up, we need to decide what to do.." spying Rosie taping keg, and drinking it straight, he decided he really didn't think they cared. "Very well.. on to our next order of business."
And thus, the insanity of our world continued..
***
One Year Later:
His land lady flipped the lights on, "This is it." she said cheerfully, motioning the man to follow.
Ranma spared the room a long look. White decourless walls, a small if entirely fitting kitchen, and plushy beige carpets. He let his bags dropped to the ground, taking a moment to walk around and inspect the place more thoroughly.
"The view of Central park is wonderful at about sun set. As you know, this apartment complex features near sound proof walls, so you can be as loud as you want. Just remember not to be too loud, Ms. Higashi next door has a weak heart after a recent surgery." the land lady stopped, eyeing her newest tenant. About average height for a Japanese man, if a little taller. Short raven black hair, light completion that went well with his eyes. Not bad, she supposed. "Is there any questions, Mr. Saotome?"
"No." he waved the woman off.
"Very well." she bowed, stepping out of the room, "If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask." she finished sweetly, before closing the door.
He remained there, simply standing, staring our the window at the park for a long time. "Pfeh.. Tichondrius has to be fucking nuts."
***
Tichondrius couldn't help but skip happily. The entities around him all stared, as if fearing ultimate destruction of the universe now that some one like him was showing unabashed happiness. He couldn't help himself, he was in far too good a mood.
"He will see you now." His beautiful secretary motioned towards the great set of white double doors.
Stepping into His office, the demon couldn't help but sigh at the overly tacky display. White sheets shimmering with light surrounding a circular platform where His desk sat. Pillars lined the room from the Roman-Gecko era, giving Him an all important atmosphere. Not that He cared for it, but there were certain misconceptions that had to be maintained, if only for those pompous and egocentric godlings who haven't realized their world doesn't begin and end with Him.
"Hey pop."
A simple looking man, bald as a cue cumber and looking eerily enough like Patrick Stewart, looked up from his desk. A brief and all too familiar kind smile graced his lips, "Ah, Tichondrius. It's been a while."
The demon shrugged, "Ten thousand years." he spotted a flash to his left, and frowned. A woman, with shimmering silvery hair dressed in the purest white stood there, glaring at him hatefully. "And I see some things will never change."
"Beast! You dare come here?! After all you've done?!?" the woman scowled angrily. He could tell, just by looking at her, if the old man wasn't around she'd have attacked him by now.
"Ah, I love you too, sis." Tichondrius cheerfully replied, "So pops. What's the reason this time?" as if he didn't know.
"You've broke his word!" the woman screeched again, "You've interfered in the mortal realm again! He forbade us after you destroyed everything I worked for!"
Tichondrius blinked, before snapping his fingers, "Ah right, I remember. Pop said "Laws of Balance will be kept. Once balance is met, no more will either of us interfere with the realm of man." he gave his father a look, suppressing a smirk when He shrugged in response. "So pops. Have I broken you're word?"
The woman shot a glance at Him, and waited...
waited...
waited...
'He' scratched his chin, as if thinking.
waited...
waited...
"Pop, I don't think she likes you dragging this out." Tichondrius sweated, seeing the steam pouring out her ears.
He blinked, "Oh?" he sighed, "Fine then. The answer is No, he has not."
The woman crowed, "See! You're in for it.. wait." she reared back around towards Him, "What the heck do you mean 'No?' Are you smoking cra... " she blinked, wincing as she realized just who she was talking too. "Ahem.. Father, I believe his actions were recorded. He caused the destruction of my kingdom, how could he be allowed to interfere after something like that?"
Tichondrius blinked, "Uh, we've had this argument before. I did no such thing. The Chaos you caused by creating that blasted Artifact caused your kingdom's destruction."
"Lies!" she screamed, "All lies! Nothing I did could cause such destruction! I am perfection! I am Serenity! I am.."
"Wrong." 'He' spoke up seriously.
Tichondrius smirked.
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(Posted Thu, 29 Jul 2004 03:56)
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