Tichondrius nodded, once again disguised in the long red haired human capable of sprouting bad poetry at a moments notice. "Easy, isn't it."
Ranma sighed, accepting his lot in life, "Fine. What kinda crap am I teachin? Martial Arts? Sports?" at least he'd be able to have some fun with this, he supposed.
Tich shrugged, "English."
THUD
Pulling himself up from the floor, he leveled a heated glare at the demon, "ENGLISH!? Are you fucking nuts? I don't know shit about english!!"
"Well, being my Avatar does give you certain.. skills. Just so happens knowing English is one of them." he explained calmly, as if expecting the mortal to understand.
"What the hell are you talking about!? I can barely understand Kanji, much less freaken English!! Whats the point anyway?"
Tichondrius hmmed to himself, as if thinking that answer out thoroughly, before responding, "I dunno. Just felt right."
THUD
"Y'know, that can't be good for your complexion." the demon frowned seriously.
***
Ranma shook his head, banishing his memories of the Demon. Looking at the school complex, he wasn't very surprised to see kids going to and fro, enjoying their young little lives as they want to. He was a tad disappointed there weren't any morning brawls evident, no evil back stabbing loan sharks in sight, no idiot Kuno's sprouting horrible poetry...
A mental image of Tichondrius speaking flashed into his mind, which his smothered right quickly.
"Excuse me?" a woman came up and poked him in the shoulder.
Ranma blinked, "Uh.. hi."
"Little old to be in school, aren't you?" she gave him a warm smile, crossing her arms akimbo as she stared at him.
"Uh.." he sighed. Best get this crap over with. "Nah. I'm not here to learn, er.. I'm a teacher." Would they even buy this crock of shit? Tichondrius didn't seem the type to actually plan things out well in advance.
"Oh! Which department?" She eyed him curiously. Athletics maybe?
"English." he said with a shrug. "I'm sorry Miss..."
"Takahashi, Rekai."
"Saotome, Ranma." he bowed, "If you excuse me, I have a meeting with the Principal."
"Oh! I'm sorry." she bowed apologetically."
Ranma nodded, waving the woman off as he maneuvered his way through the students.
Rekai watched him go, a curious look in her deep brown eyes. "English huh..."
***
Ranma watched the kids droll in a bit at a time, slowly taking their seats as time wore on. He didn't know what to think of everything. Yesterday, he was an average Japanese man, with no where near the amount of education required to hold the position he now held. He shouldn't have been surprised, Tichondrius always seemed able to supply the needed credentials for whatever he wanted done. Like that time he came up with those false construction documents, classifying him as a master of the field.
The destruction of Tokyo Tower because of that fiasco besides the point, the demon was still able to get him put in charge of it. Now here he was, teaching middle grade school kids a language he was sure he had no understanding off, well, despite what Hinako-sensei had manage to cram into his skull all those years ago.
"Good morning class." he turned to the board, messily writing his name out in Kanji, "Er.. I'm.. Saotome, Mr. Saotome.. and I'm your English teacher."
"How do you say "I love you" in English?" a girl from the front row asked, with a dreamy look etched over her features.
Ranma gulped internally. He hadn't been expecting that, no, not at all.
"Well Miss..."
"Todai."
"Todai." he nodded, committing the name to memory. "Well, that depends.. on.. err.. "
This was going to be a long fucking day. He knew it.
***
Ranma slumped into his seat, staring at the pile of 'personal letters' that had suddenly appeared on his desk after class, before laying his head down despondently. "Impossible.. freaken impossible."
"Bad morning?"
Ranma blinked, looking up and too the door. He frowned, recognizing the woman leaning against the doorframe, what was her name? Oh yeah, Rekai.. "Not all that bad." he lied.
Rekai walked up to his desk, slim fingers pushing and prodding the stack of notes, "It must be maddening."
"Huh?"
Picking up a letter, the older woman gave the contents a brief look over, "All these little hassles. Girls and boys half our age yearning to hook onto us, hoping something more then the simple student teacher relationship would blossom into something beautiful.. something pure."
Ranma frowned, staring at the woman before snorting in disgust, "That body don't suit you Ticho."
'Rekai' pouted, before her form shifted and reformed into the male equivalent he had gotten use to, "Nuts. I thought I had you there."
"Pfeh." he snorted, "I knew it was you from the beginnin."
"Oh?"
Ranma nodded, irritated, "Rekai's left handed." he motioned to a pair of wire rim glasses the demon was holding in his right hand, "You ain't."
Ticho blinked, "Uh... How?"
Ranma shrugged, stepping up from his desk, "She also doesn't smell like burnt shit."
Ticho blinked, sniffing his underarms, before grinning, "Okay, I'll take a bath next time."
"Please do." he growled.
***
Suicho wiped the sweat from his forehead, admiring his work well done. The floor almost shimmered, the pure reflection of the area surrounding it just screaming how wonderfully clean the area was. A testament to the hard work he had struggled oh so long to finish. Yes, after laboring hours, he had finished.
"SHIT!"
Suicho turned, just in time to see a large Shake slip from the grip of it's owner. In sickening slow motion, he watched as the cup descended towards his floor. Fear turned to horror as the lid suddenly busted off, the squishy liquid flowing freely from it's constraints as gravity finished its ugly trip.
SPLASH!
"Damn it!" Ranma pouted, staring at his poor Milk shake, spread all over the floor. He sniffed, lowering his head in respect of the liquid refreshment now ruined. "Man.. when did I get so clumsy?" he mumbled, staring at the strange Janitor on his hands and knees crying, before going on his way.
***
Later:
Ranma yawned as he left the school grounds. Man, he was so damn tired. At least Tichondrius hadn't lied about his ability to speak and write English. It had taken him a bit to get a hang of the ability, since it pretty much just appeared out of no where when he tried to use it, but at least now his kids couldn't call him a moron for knowing more then he did about a subject he was suppose to be teaching them, and not the other way around.
"Saotome!"
Ranma blinked, turning around and catching sight of Rekai running to catch up with him. He rolled his eyes. Prolly Ticho being a dork again. "Yes?"
A little red in the face from her run, Rekai took a moment to steady herself, "I'm sorry, no one had a chance to tell you before you left.."
"What is it?" If he punched her in the face right now, maybe he'd knock the demon out? Hmmm.
"The English Faculty always has a mandatory meeting every second Thursday of the month. That's today."
Ranma blinked, "Uh.. no?"
Rekai smirked, grabbing him by the arm and literally dragging him back in, "If I'm stuck listening to those old foggies talk, you are too!"
He blanched, "No! Uh.. No! I'm not an English teacher.. I'm.. uh.. an international Terrorist hired by a demonic entity bent on world destruction!" he grabbed the railing desperately. The last thing he wanted to do was spend another minute in that fucking hell hole
"Sure you are!" Rekai grinned, prying his fingers off the railing before yanking the man in the school, "On any other day, that is. Today, your an English teacher, and get to share my misery!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
***
Ranma slumped into his seat, pouting sadly.
"It's really nice of you to walk me home, Saotome." Rekai smirked from her seat next to him, legs crossed. She knew she was attractive, but none of her old boy friends ever walked her home the first time she met them.
"S'no problem." he really didn't have the heart to tell her this was his 'abnormal' route home anyway. He preferred hopping roofs over the train, but that isn't possible with her around.
***
"Remember, boy. Your puny powers may be accepted in Nerima, but it's not everywhere." Tichondrius growled dangerously, "Don't go making a spectacle of yourself."
***
He gave the woman a long look.
"What?" she smiled innocently.
"Nothing." he grunted.
***
"Well.." She grinned, watching the boy stare at the building. "This is where I live."
He seemed to stare for longer then needed, before sighing and muttering something under his breath. "Well.. I'm going to bed." he grunted, stepping past Rekai and into the apartment building, the same damn one he lived in.
Rekai blinked, "Hey! We just met!" The nerve of this guy! She was very surprised when he fished out a set of keys and opened the gate himself. She blinked, "You.. live here too.. don't you."
He grunted, "Yeah. What a coincidence, huh?" before stepping inside.
Rekai blinked once, then twice, then thrice, before following him in the building.
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(Posted Thu, 29 Jul 2004 05:54)
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