They failed.
Miserably.
Dwarves smoked on pungent pipes and hunkered over chessboards or (in one case) plunked solemnly on a drum and engaged in some sort of epic poetry.
Tall bishonen elves played cards with what Yuka recognized as hobbits or a reasonable facsimile.
Humans, or near humans, argued over some obscure reference that Yuka didn't understand in the slightest.
A barmaid who mostly looked human and had a bustline that defied gravity swept by, her tail snapping out to deflect some elf's wayward hand on the way towards her rear.
"This is..." Sayuri said, still trying to look unphased.
"Yeah," agreed Yuka.
"Excuse me," said a female voice.
Yuka tore her eyes away from the spectacles around her to focus in on someone who looked relatively normal. "Hello?"
"Officer Yoriko Nikaidou, Bokutoh Police Station, Tokyo," said the woman, holding a hand out in Western fashion.
"Yuka Yamamoto, this is my friend Sayuri," said Yuka, shaking the other's hand.
"After all that, I felt the need to talk to some relatively normal people," said Yoriko.
"Ah," agreed Yuka, understanding the point.
Ryoko Mitsurugi blocked, brought her bokutoh down on one ruffian's skull, and pivoted to block another's attack.
thwip-thump!
Ryoko glanced towards the thug who had been trying to blindside her, then out at the shadows without stopping the shoving contest between her and the thug she had been facing. "I knew he was there! Stop interfering in my fight!"
"sorry," whispered the wind as a shadow detached itself from the rest of the darkness at the end of the alley and leapt to the peak of a house nearby.
thud thud thud thud
Seeing four bodies collapse out of that same darkness, Ryoko frowned for a moment. Then grinned at the one she was facing. "At least they left one villain."
"Die," said the villain.
"Yeesh, can't they at least get you a dialogue coach," complained Ryoko. "My time's wasted on a low level minion."
"Who're you calling a low level minion!" declared the thug, leaping back. He began whirling his staff around. "Behold my special manuever, Whirlwind Of Pain!"
Wham!
Ryoko held the pose, her opponent's chin now pointing straight up. "Man, can't I get something besides these wimps?"
Rally Vincent was good with guns. The problem was that she currently didn't have one on her person. She'd taken a flight through Japan and had seen her luggage and weaponry apparently go visiting Thailand. That was when it had been revealed to her that she could have waited for pickup from her own location instead of going to where she'd heard Citadel Kirby was.
"If I only had a gun," said Rally, stepping backwards as the thugs moved forward.
"what kind?" whispered the shadows.
Rally stopped. Whispers from the shadows? "A handgun?"
"here," came a whisper and metal was pressed into her fingers.
Rally looked wildly around but didn't see more than a flicker of shadow. "Okay, creepy. And what the heck is this anyway?"
The thugs stopped, not sure themselves apparently.
It looked sort of like a gun. In front were two cylinders that seemed to mass about as much as the gun itself, and what was that tubing with the bubbling liquid supposed to do?
"Oh well, let's see what you do," said Rally Vincent, pointing and pulling the trigger. What did she have to lose, anyway?
FZAKK!
Seeing a ball of lightning form at the end of the barrel, Rally quickly released it and watched the bolt go sailing through the crowd of thugs. Those who were not crackling and smouldering seemed a little taken aback at the fate of their fellows.
"Not bad," admitted Rally, blinking away the flash effects. "How many shots?"
"six," came the wind's answer.
"Five more then," said Rally. "Okay, boys. Which of you wants to be next?"
Xarra knew what kind of horrors might have come visiting, and so she brought a squad of her best soldiers along with her. They were armed and armored lightly for speed, but layered with wards and defenses of more magical means.
The problem was that they were not finding weak damsels in distress being menaced by assassins.
"It looks like she got the herd angry," said one of her soldiers.
Xarra looked down at the woman and flicked something at her belt with the tip of a sword. "Throwing spiders. More of Mezzies out to make a name for themselves. Keep a sharp eye out."
That said, the six began running as one, leaving the now nameless would-be slayer in the grass.
"This is Officer Dunkelman of the City Guard," said the dwarf into the odd contraption, "I found two of the bridal candidates. They're unconscious."
The odd device gave off some odd continuous noise before a voice responded. "Does it look like assassins?"
"Negative," responded Dunkelman. "It looks like they beat each other up. I'm at the corner of Wharf and Temple. Send a couple of stretchers."
"Got it. Hey, these gadgets from the Prince's homeland are really damn handy."
"Yeah, but the name still stinks," said Dunkelman, putting away the 'walkie-talkie'.
Forte Stollen and Ranpha Franboise slept away, uncaring.
Kesina of the High Elves stood next to the window and looked out over the city of Rangard.
"Lady Kesina, report of the attackers."
Kesina stepped away and gestured for the guard to continue.
"The attackers appear to be a motley crew, hired mercenaries mostly, with a few dark elves from the city of spiders."
"Once again those drow have brought conflict to our city," said Kesina. Like many high elves, her opinion of the drow was simply that they were never to be trusted. Even those who had rejected the ways of their masses might revert to old habit, and their simple existence was known to draw this sort of conflict.
"As you say," continued the soldier. "A number of the candidates are gathering even now. Though some seem reluctant to leave their current locations."
"Understandable," said Kesina after a moment's reflection. "Travel would make them more vulnerable if they've found shelter. Let me know when enough have gathered here that I might address them."
"Yes, my lady," said the soldier, recognizing the dismissal.
Zelda was present in Rangard, having recently been approached by the dwarves for her own nomination in this contest.
It had been amusing, and so she had accepted.
She was an Earth genasi, child of an elven parent and a being of the Elemental Plane Of Earth. Her skin was an odd grayish color with plates of a natural armor that didn't hamper her movement but gave her some protection.
What she wore was her usual ruffled shirt, tight-tight pants, knee high boots, flowing cape, plumed hat, over-jacket, and enough concealed weaponry to make her a honorary practitioner of Hidden Weapons Style.
"Haha," laughed Zelda with a glint of humor in her eyes. "Twelve of you? Come come. Go out and bring your friends back, there isn't sport in this easy a fight!"
The thugs, mercenaries from a number of other systems, hesitated. Finally one asked. "Who and what are you?"
"I am Zelda The Wanderer," said Zelda, bringing her sabre Catsdancing up in mock salute. "Genasi, adventurer, and the swiftest sword in wildspace."
The rogues took a step back. "Zelda The Bandit Slayer? Zelda The Bounty Hunter? Zelda Illithid-Bane?"
"So I have been called," admitted Zelda, giving a half-bow and flourish of her cape. "Come on now, you'll make me blush."
"I see," said the apparent leader, slapping a cudgel into his hand. "You're the one who took out Big Boss Badaxe and his Legion Of Cut-throats."
"Yes. Friends of yours?" asked Zelda, noting the position of each and every minion.
"All right boys," growled the leader. "Ready. Set. RUN AWAYYYYYYY!"
Zelda blinked in astonishment as the crowd of rowdies dispersed like morning fog in the desert. "Huh? Hey waitaminute! Somebody come back here and fight me, damnit!"
"You don't even want to start with me," said the red haired girl to the two ogrillons. "I will hurt you. Severely."
The two ogrillons laughed at that. This tiny slip of a human girl wasn't even armed and here she was threatening THEM?!
The girl slapped aside one ogrillon's far more massive arm with one hand and pulled his head down to her level with the other grasping a handful of chin-hair. "Don't make me do something you'll regret."
The other ogrillon lifted his club high and prepared to strike.
A few seconds later, Kepeskixen adjusted her clothing again and started searching for these other girls again. That had been almost insulting.
"Assassins! Come back here and fight me!" yelled a woman in swashbuckling clothes as she ran past the alleyway.
Kepeskixen smiled. Assassins? She hadn't fed too well lately and nobody would raise a fuss if she ate a few of those now - would they? No, she certainly didn't think so.
Besides, she needed to vent on something.
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(Posted Sun, 01 Aug 2004 18:54)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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