However, some things needed a good washing before they could begin.
Bastet’s nose crinkled as she smelled the cauldron Urd handed her. “When was the last time you cleaned this?”
“... It wasn’t that long ago...” The self-appointed ‘cupid of love’ said. Honestly, it hadn’t been more than a month.
Bastet shook her head. “I need a thoroughly clean cauldron for this to work. Otherwise the aphrodisiac will get contaminated and become a failure.”
Urd snorted. “Please. I’ve used this one since I was just learning magic.”
Bastet looked at Urd seriously. “Meaning, it’s suffered from a lot of your whacked-out experiments AND failures.”
“And my greatest successes, thank you very much!” Urd said indignantly
“Which are few and far between, thank you very much,” Bastet thought as she shook her head. She couldn’t say that to the other goddess’ face though, they had work to do, not bicker. “Sorry for the insult, Urd. I’m nervous. I need this potion to work EXACTLY, or it won’t be any good. So I’m a little paranoid at the moment.”
Urd sighed. “Just get it done. It’ll work.”
“Okay, okay,” Bastet said as she placed the cauldron atop the burner. “Get some water for this, while I look through all my materials.” She looked at Urd. “And I mean distilled, not tap!”
Urd rolled her eyes and walked over to do as told. “Can you be any more annoying?” She mumbled under her breath. Sure, it was important, but that was no reason to have a stick up the ass.
“Yes, but I won’t,” Bastet said as she looked over the box she brought. Siberian tiger’s tail? Check... Enough catnip to OD on? Check... Hairs from a lion’s mane? Check...
Upon entering the kitchen, Urd found her sister Belldandy hard at work cooking. “Oh, Afternoon, Urd!” Belldandy greeted as she continued chopping celery. “How are things going with you and lady Bastet?”
Urd smiled. “Hi, Bell! Fine Bell. Do we have any water?”
“Why, yes,” Belldandy pointed to the sink. “Help yourself.”
Urd nodded in thanks and did so. As she did she couldn’t help but ask of her sister, “So... did you ever get the chance to get Keiichi into your room and get the deed done?”
“Oh, why yes,” Belldandy said as she reached for the carrots and started cutting again. “We had such fun playing ‘Charades’.”
Urd groaned. “Bell! When are you ever going to learn?” She asked rhetorically.
“Learn what?” Belldandy asked innocently.
“Sex, Bell. Sex!” Urd said as if it was the most important thing in the world.
“Speaking of which,” Bastet’s voice could be heard from down the hall. “Where’s that water? A certain couple won’t be having wild sex without it!”
“Coming! Coming!” Urd shouted angrily. Then in a calmer voice to Belldandy. “Think about it, okay? You have a lot of time. Keiichi doesn’t.” She then went back down the hall to the room. Upon entering, she handed the water to the other goddess.
Looking at the entrance as the other Goddess came in, Bastet asked Urd, “Is it distilled?”
“Yeah, yeah. Belldandy gave it to me,” Urd lied through her teeth as she handed it over, letting go as Bastet took it. “You really are taking this seriously, huh?”
Nodding her head slowly, Bastet let off a sigh. “I just... Want them to be happy... I want them to have many children. I want them to have a nice big family.”
Urd smirked. “No problem. From what I saw when they were here that boy has a lot of stamina to keep trying.”
That helped Bastet smile. “I hope you’re right.”
“Trust me. I was very tempted to join them on the furo,” Urd admitted.
Bastet smirked. “Naughty Goddess,” She teased as she took the water and poured it into the cauldron. She then placed the tiger tail onto a small cutting board and cut it into three segments with her claws. “We can start adding the components once the water is boiling.”
Urd stuck her tongue out at Bast. “I’d like to see you show as much restraint as me. That boy is a damn horse.”
At that comment, Bastet smiled. “I know. It was one of my gifts to him when he underwent Neko-Ken training.” She winked at Urd. “That insane training has to have SOME benefit.”
Smiling back at the other goddess, Urd chuckled. “It does wonders. I’d never seen a human keep up with a werecat like that before.”
Bastet smirked and Urd and winked. Looking over at the cauldron, she saw it was bubbling, so she upturned the cutting board, letting the tail fall into it. “So, tell me Urd,” She said as she took a jar of cheetah claws and placed them in a blender to grind them into powder. “How’s your love life been going?”
Urd lost her smile to glare at Bastet.
Bastet winced. “Hey, don’t feel so down. I haven’t gotten any with a man in nearly two-thousand years! Ptah’s been gone a long time.” Bastet swore to herself if she ever saw him again, that that was the last time she’d ever let him go out to ‘pick up some milk’ again!
Urd shook her head. “For love goddesses, we sure lack a lot of love.”
The Cat Goddess slowly nodded her head in defeat. “Yeah, unfortunately...” She took the cup of powdered cheetah claws and put it into the cauldron. “But we at least can help others.” She then went to taking the lion’s mane hair and just threw it in. “Now where’d I put those leopard spots?”
Urd sighed. “You’re sitting on them. I swear, if your head wasn't attached to your shoulders.”
Bastet blinked her eyes and moved back. Yep, the spots were on the floor. Picking them up one at a time, she then placed them into the cauldron as well. “Now, for fifty kilogram of Catnip.” She took the bag and upended it into the cauldron, somehow getting it all in there.
Urd blinked her eyes in surprise. “Fifty kilograms? Are you sure you want the poor boy to survive?”
Bastet nodded her head in confirmation. “This is the minimum dosage I need for it to bring out Ranma’s feline essences too.”
The platinum-haired goddess whistled. “Okay. Then you don’t expect Alex to survive. Even normally the boy fucks her until she’s about to pass out.”
Bastet laughed heartily. “But there’s bound to be a kitten or two made at a time.” She looked into her bag. “Now, I need some tuna...”
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Urd asked nervously.
Bastet nodded. “Of course.” She said as she opened two cans and emptied the contents. “Now, two liters of sake...” Bastet smiled as she took a bottle that had been from Urd’s stash and poured said alcoholic-contents into the cauldron.
Urd’s eye twitched. “This better work, or I’m kicking your ass for wasting the good stuff.”
Bastet smiled. “It will if you gave me distilled water.”
“I told you already it was distilled,” Urd groaned. Okay, so maybe taking the short-cut was a bad idea...
Bastet nodded. “Good.” She took out a two small boxes with Bill Cosby’s picture on it. “Now, what should be added? Lime or Cherry Gelatin?”
Urd sweat-dropped heavily. “... Cosby?”
“He’s the God of Jell-O,” Bastet said seriously. “Didn’t you get the memo?”
“Cosby was ascended? Now that’s news. I thought they would have ascended Dale Earnhardt before Bill Cosby,” Urd said thoughtfully. “I mean, Bill is still alive.”
“Oh, Dale’s on his way. He still needs two finish two more quests,” Bastet said seriously.
The goddess of the past nodded her head slowly and turned to the bubbling cauldron. “Are you sure this will work?”
“Very,” Bastet said as she added both Jell-Os to make a lime-cherry. Bastet smiled as the liquid began to bubble faster. “Now we wait for it to form into pills.”
Turning to face Bast, Urd blinked her eyes. “It forms into pills...? By itself!?”
Bastet smiled. “It will in my presence.” She winked. “Celestial aura and all that.”
Urd laughed. “You have to teach me how to do that sometime. I’m still stuck using potions.”
Bastet smiled. “I guess I’ll have to then.”
“Say...” The Norn started to change the topic of conversation. “Is Thor still single?” Urd asked with a smile.
Bastet nodded. “Yes. I see him often at Toltirr’s Pub.”
“Seeing someone?” Urd asked slowly, almost carefully.
Bastet shrugged. “I don’t know him that well. I don’t check into Valhalla as much as I used to. He might be with someone, he might not be.”
“Damn,” Urd cursed. “I need to get laid.”
Bastet smiled. “If I find Ptah, I’ll give you a call.” She winked.
Urd brightened. “Thanks. You’re a real pal.”
Bastet nodded her head once more. “I’m glad you think so.”
“Now to make sure Ranma and Alex have a litter of kittens before new years and everything will be set,” Urd said and smirked. “I get more offerings and you get your kittens.”
Bastet nodded. “And kittens are SO cute.”
Urd stood up and grinned. It was stupid and childish, but she loved doing this. “IT’S URD’S...”
The other goddess stood beside Urd. “AND BAST’S...”
“OPERATION: KITTY LOVE!” They chorused as a light from heaven shown down upon them, (literally).
Urd kept her heroic pose for a full five seconds before giggling.
Which, of course, Bastet laughed with her.
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(Posted Wed, 05 Jan 2005 01:11)
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