Pancakes they said, they wanted pancakes! The devil they would, and no pizza either! Pelting the grill with their meaningless requests, with what they called dreams! They paid, they should get service - she wasn't a chief, she was an was prisoner condemned to hard labor without any chance of parole.
The girl across the grill, the one with the hair that looked like a pair of meatballs, she had wanted cheese on her okonomiyaki, was there no decency left in the world? She knew she had smelled a rat the minute the girl stepped into the restaurant. No amount of greasing the griddle would get it clean now, the stench would be lingering there forever. Somebody should tell them!
"They smell." Of course the overly friendly old man that she was supposed to assume was her father just nodded. Too much time spent locked in mortal combat with these pests had eroded his brain, it was only a matter of time before it happened to her too. "Jesus, do you know what's happening!"
"Yes Ukyo dear." Oversimplified, what a terrible response. He tried to cope with what he was, no doubt burning in anger when remembering what he had once been. Once a man with zang, now he was selling pipedreams in the form of what these god damn rodents believed to be pancakes or some other equally round dish. This was what was wrong with these people, their carnal desires ruling where they should have tried filling their empty heads!
"Come on you fiends! if you stuff it down your throats it might come out on the other end as something brown and delicious that you could put in a glass!" The blonde just gave me one of those strange empty looks that had come to be her trademarks ever since she entered my store. I had no doubt in my mind that the mushroom in her head she believed a brain was preoccupied with the round shape of what was in front of her. "Well it isn't a flying saucer, you can't eat it damn you!"
Standing up as if she was about to leave the she made some sweeping gesture, was she threatening me? "Listen I'll just leave and--"
"Nobody fucking moves!" The hell? A pig had just entered my store, no I'm serious a pig! One of the boys in blue, his whistle-pipe dangling from a chain hanging around his neck as his small beady eyes threw promises of a cold night in a cell with someone called Moe.
His gun suddenly fires off a shot, I hadn't even seen him pull it but I shouldn't have been surprised, these dickless upholders of an alcoholic state believing itself our savior like to stroke their pistols. Cold hard steel pumping hot lead of fire, no need to worry though to intent on staring at their piece as the shoot of their load their aim can only be considered lousy.
I duck down behind my grill, hot sauce spilling down and making a sticky mess on the floor, I used to be able to my own reflection on the polished floor, no more!
"Listen, if you aim a little higher you might actually accomplish something. Nothing like setting a high goal for yourself!" The large jar with special sauce exploding above me makes an impression on the wall behind it, seems like somebody was listening to me. "There might be hope for you yet!"
"Moon Power .. what was that again? Pokemon makeup!" All that new-age stuff, going to discos, people are insane I tell you! I've never been into that stuff, I can't stand the lightshows, feels like somebody is poking me in the eyes with a rusty knife. Who the fuck decided to turn on the lights! My eyes are burning maybe if I put some of that special sauce in my eyes, no wait bad idea last time I did my eyelids swelled up like a pair of doctor Christopher Saunders specials.
"I'll swallow your soul, I'll swallow your soul!" Yeah, save some for me pig, I'd need a new soul just to flush down the one I already posses. I'm morally bankrupt you see - or no, you can't see anything in this light.
"Somebody shut of the damn light!" Somebody did! Not my father you see, he was lying there in a pool of red smeared all over him, his breathing coming in heavy gasps. Another victim of a heavy dose of lead, not any drug I'd ever use, I'm allergic to iron.
"Moon tiara .. what was that again?" I feel like yelling at the kid, wearing what she did and throwing a frisbee like that, was she on drugs?
"Your soul is mine!" Jesus!
"Moon tiara attack!" Too much lead, she was throwing a midget ufo at the drooling pig. I knew I was fucked, my restaurant hadn't drawn that conclusion however. It is always the ignorant that go first, I have to remember that to next time.
I've never had a roof fall onto me, I wonder how it feels. ...
"Nooo mister Ukyo!" .. Okay now I know how it feels. Like a ton of bricks.
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(Posted Sun, 17 Oct 2004 00:16)
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