You begin to leave campsite.
Encounter! Loading Battle Sequence...
WHAT?
What do you expect. This is Gold Digger! There’s battle sequences here too, you know!
Battle Sequence loaded.
GREAT. SO WHAT AM I FIGHTING NOW?
You will see.
Just as you are walking out of the camp, you get kicked in the back of the head and go tumbling into the dirt.
GET UP FROM DIRT. TURN.
Which direction?
BEHIND.
You turn around, obviously annoyed by all this. You get a good look at your opponent. Another Asian, dressed in black and dark blues. The mask around his mouth and the overall presentation denotes him as being a ninja.
The ninja stares at you curiously. “You are not that loathsome Ryan Talbot. Why are you wearing his clothes?”
ANSWER: “UH, COINCIDENCE?”
“Oh yeah, like he’ll really buy that...
With the ninja glaring at you as you twiddled his thumbs together, you try to think of what best to say. “Uh... coincidence?” You chuckle nervously as the man in shinobi gear was obviously narrowing his eyes in anger.
TRY GETTING OUT OF THIS MESS.
All right, I’ll do it for you.
Standing your ground, you feel your confidence as a martial artist of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts as you reply, “I’m just lost in the woods trying to head home, no harm no foul? Right? You do your thing, I’ll do mine.”
The ninja’s still narrowed eyes bores into yours. “I do not believe you.” He slips into a ready position; similar to Shotokan karate but somehow off.
The ninja then cups his hands together and prepares a chi blast.
A CHI BLAST?
PERFORM: MOUKO TAKABISHA!
You cup your hands together, gathering your own chi, also a bluish pallor like the shinobi’s. You both begin to glow like a pair of cheap Japanese paper-lanterns.
HEY!
What? It’s true.
Finally, Daishi thrusts his palms outward. “GADOUKEN!” A large blue ball of chi goes screaming towards you.
In response, you thrust your palms forth. “MOUKO TAKABISHA!” You shout, your own big blue ball of chi heading towards his.
The two blasts connect, destroying each other and blast back enough concussive force to send you and the ninja flying off your feet to crash some distance away, proving there is nothing worse than blue balls!
OH, PUT A SOCK IN THE DIRTY COMMENTARY!
You groggily get back up as does Daishi. He looks over you with a critical eye, considering you to now a serious threat.
Yes he did not consider you one before.
SHOUT: HEY! CAN’T WE TALK THIS OVER!?
You wave your arms about in a warding gesture. “Hey can’t we talk this over!?” You try to plead and get some sense through this man’s thick skull.
Daishi’s reply is a curt. “No.”
However before he can begin to bring a rain of pain on your ass, the fight is interrupted by more voices.
“DAISHI!” A youthful male voice yells angrily. “WHAT IN THE BLAZES ARE YOU DOING!?”
The ninja turns to a pint sized... boy with glasses and bows as one would to their honored lord. “Forgive my tardiness, Master Talon. I had ran into this interloper. I thought he was Ryan Talbot but it seems I was mistaken.”
Talon turns to you, curiosity obvious on his face. “Who the heck are you?” He asks as he’s obviously looking you over. “Wait, don’t tell me!” He grins. “You’re my new Guinea Pig! Daishi! Take ‘im out!” He commands of his ninja servant.
Daishi turns to you, a devious gleam in his eyes. “With pleasure, Lord Talon.”
EXCLAIM: GUINEA PIG!? NO WAY BUB, I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THE GUINEA PIG RUN AROUND!
You jump back, making some distance between yourself and the ninja. “Guinea Pig!?” You ask in shock, raising your arms defensively. “No way bub, I’ve had enough of the Guinea Pig run around!” You tell him in a heated voice.
Daishi however continues his attack.
ACTIVATE MAD MARTIAL ARTS DEFENSE.
That’s just for buying time, like the Saotome Secret Attack: Run Away like a Scared Little Bitch.
HEY!
You need a plan. This guy’s not a pushover.
UM... SHIT! ANY SUGGESTIONS?
Do I LOOK like a Cheat FAQ to you?
AW, COME ON! HE’S A TOUGH FIGHT! AND I HAVEN’T HAD ANY OTHERS!
Wrong. You’ve had to deal with Akane (Minion). But I admit that Daishi (Boss) is a lot tougher, especially when you’re only Level 1.
Hmm...
All right, I’ll help out this once. You have item “1 Set Brass Knuckles”. Best equip to do stronger damage.
ISN’T THAT KINDA CHEAP?
You want to die? Unless some sort of divine interven-
*KER-FRAG-A-WHAMMY*!
Daishi now stands a golden crispy brown. He slowly opens his mouth; a puff of smoke going through his torn facemask before he falls forward, passed out.
“BRIANNA YOU TRIGGER-HAPPY NUT,” an obviously irate female voice shrieked from out of your line of site. “WHAT IF THAT BOLT KILLED SOMEONE?”
“I THOUGHT THE SAFETY WAS ON!” Was the harsh reply of another feminine voice, also from out of your line of sight
The young Talon slaps himself on the face. “Oh wonderful,” he gripes sarcastically. “They’re here.” The young man looks left, then right. “Damn! Daishi is down. IONIS!” He shouts angrily.
“Yes, Master!” Was the reply of a man of African American descent. He grabs the young master, leaving the ninja behind as he teleports, leaving the vicinity.
HMM...
WALK UP TO DAISHI.
You walk up to the downed Ninja. His eyes are swirly and he’s charred and smoking. He is unconscious. Sadly, as you did not defeat him, you do not gain the experience points.
CHECK INVENTORY
Daishi is currently carrying:
Ninja Gear (Outfit - Charred)
Mad Ninja Skillz
Saikyo Style
Real ULTIMATE Power!!
1 Tanto
8 Kunai
12 Shuriken
1 Bromide of Charlotte
Bromide of what?
If she tagged along, you’ll find out.
TAKE INVENTORY!
You have acquired Daishi’s inventory sans ‘Real ULTIMATE Power!!’, the skill-set forever fixated to his being.
I
You are currently carrying:
1 Dragon’s Whisker (braided into hair)
Ryan's Clothes (Outfit: Worn)
Ninja Gear (Outfit - Charred: Not Worn)
Mad Ninja Skillz
Saikyo Style
Amazing Martial Arts Skills
Mad Martial Arts Skillz
Wallet (25,000 Yen, 4 Major Credit Cards, 1 Driver’s License)
Car Keys
1 Martial Arts Magazine
Pride
Extreme Luck
Photographic Memory
Hormones
1 Set Brass Knuckles
1 Tanto
8 Kunai
12 Shuriken
3 Tuna Steaks
1 Can Whipped Cream
1 Playboy Magazine
7 Bromides of Gina Diggers
1 Bromide of Brianna Diggers
1 Bromide of Britanny Diggers
1 Bromide of Charlotte
HOW DOES IT SET ITSELF UP SO NICELY IN MY INVENTORY?
Simple. The Inventory’s programming is set to separate items into these categories from top to bottom: Clothing, Skills, Monetary/Game Use Items, Personality Traits, Skills, Weapons, Food, Perversion Items.
PERVERSION ITEMS?
This is the H-Text Game Nookiequest. You can gain perversion points in ways outside of sex too.
And you know, you still have your two saviors standing there...
SAVE GAME
Saving Game...
Game Saved.
Time to face your saviors.
TURN AROUND AND GREET THE GIRLS.
You turn around and slowly see your two saviors. One is a very tall blonde woman with an eye-stripe and wearing an intimidating suit of high-tech armor. And that is one hell of a rifle she’s carrying, right out of something from Halo!
The woman next to her is taller by almost an entire foot. Beautiful, buxom, muscular... furry. Yes, she is a wonderful mix of human and cheetah. The cheetah woman narrows her eyes at you angrily. “You’re the one who stole my tuna steaks!”
The other girl aims her rifle at you, putting a nice red targeting sight on your forehead. “GIVE THEM BACK RIGHT NOW!” She demands, not accepting any shit from you.
OH SHIT! UH, UH... TELL THEM NOT TO SHOOT AND THAT I WAS SAVING THEM FROM THE NINJA!
You hold your hands up high in a surrendering fashion. “Don’t shoot!" You scream in utmost fear. “I was saving you from the ninja!”
The high-tech armor-clad woman blink their eyes and look towards Daishi... the nude, charred Daishi... who still somehow has Real ULTIMATE Power!! with him.
The woman of spotted gold walks up to you and holds out her hand. “All right. Then return them, please.”
RETURN TUNA STEAKS!
You thrust out your hands, holding out the three large fishy treats.
The woman smiles a very happy feline grin. “Thank you!” She says as she snatched them as if they were the Holy Grail.
SAY: UM... WE’RE COOL NOW?”
Looking rather uneasy, you ask the tall feline woman with a pelt of spotted gold, “Um... we’re cool now?”
“One more question,” the one in armor pauses. “No, make that two.” The gun wielding one corrects herself. “One, why are you tussling with Pee Wee’s goon anyway? And two, why are you wearing our pal’s clothes?”
SAY: HOLD IT! I JUST FOUND THESE CLOTHES AND THAT ASS ATTACKED ME BECAUSE I WAS WEARING THEM!
You give her a shocked expression. “Hold it!” You shout. “I just found these clothes! And that ass,” you motion behind you. “Attacked me because I was wearing them!”
The one with the plasma rifle lowers her weapon. “Okay. That makes sense. Daishi would do that but why would Ryan leave his clothes around?” She wonders that last part aloud.
“If Gina wasn’t back at camp where we left her and Penny to nerd while Ace and Charlie are tending to the supplies, I’d say nude swimming/boinking... but clearly that ain’t the case.” The large cat-woman muses.
NOW THAT THINGS ARE CALMING DOWN, INTRODUCE SELF.
Letting out a deep breath, you manage a smile. “Okay, now that you two are calmer allow me to introduce myself.” You stand at attention at bow to them. “My name is Ranma Saotome of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts. Sorry about this.”
OH, THAT IS *SO* CLICHED!
But it works!
A look of interest came over the cheetah-like woman’s features. She then turns about to her fellow feline-eared compatriot. “Hey, Bri. Didn’t Mom say something about school named that being run by a perv on par with her Teacher?”
The girl whose name is revealed to be Brianna rubs her chin. “Yeah, except he supposedly has less restraint: stealing underwear, the groping and acting all indignant when people got in his way.”
Congratulations! Brianna Bromides are now accessible!
WHAT?
Yes. Whenever you meet or discover the corresponding character outright, the Bromide Items become accessible. That means rather than just being text, if you click on them you will get a very nice picture that can run the gauntlet of PG-13 Cheesecake to XXX Porn.
...WOAH...
Exactly. By the way, they’re still looking at you.
SIGH AND SAY: YEAH THAT’S THE SAME SCHOOL ALL RIGHT. AND HE’S AN ASSHOLE!
You shoulders slump and you sigh in defeat. “Yeah, that’s the same school...” you look up at them in sadness. “And he’s an asshole!”
Both women wince softly, feeling bad for you. “Our Mom learned from a super pervert too. You have our condolences.”
“You still however...” the feline woman then says. “Explained just HOW you got Ryan’s clothes. Trust me, unless he decided to be a nudist he wouldn’t leave them lying around.”
Better come up with a good honest excuse.
SAY: A GIRL WHO'S FAMILY I'M LIVING WITH OVER-REACTED AS IS HER NORM AND MALLETED ME OUT OF THE BUILDING. I WENT FLYING UNTIL I CRASHED AT MOUNT FUJI. I CRASHED INTO THIS UGLY GIRL WHO WAS CARRYING THE CLOTHES. SINCE I NEEDED THEM AND SHE WASN'T CONSCIOUS, I TOOK THEM.
You shake your head in annoyance. “A girl who’s family I'm living with overreacted.” You grumble out irritably, “As it her norm and malleted me out of the building. I went flying until I landed at Mount Fuji. I crashed into this ugly girl who was carrying the clothes. Since I needed them and she wasn’t conscious, I took them.”
The cheetah-like woman raises an eyebrow in curiousity. “A girl?”
NOD HEAD AND SAY: REDHEAD. REAL UGLY ONE TOO BUT ONE HECK OF A RACK!
You nod your head in seriousness. “Redhead. Real ugly one too but one heck of a rack!” You bring your hands up in front of your chest for emphasis.
“A redheaded girl?” Both sisters look at each other.
Brianna is the first to speak. “You don’t think...” she trails off, unsure if it’s a possibility she wants to consider.
“Ryan’s not insane enough to cheat on sis...” the cheetah woman tells her sister in all seriousness. “Maybe Pee Wee got a new goon that disabled him.”
SHRUG SHOULDERS and SAY: WELL, SHE WAS NUDE WHEN I FOUND HER WITH RYAN’S CLOTHING.
You shrug your shoulders. “Well, she was nude when I found her with Ryan’s clothing.”
Both sisters look suddenly rather ticked. “Oh, Gina is gonna be pissed...” Brianna mumbles out. “Hell, I’m rather pissed at him.”
The tall cat-woman nods her head in agreement. “You’re not the only one Bri.” She turns to look at you. “Thank you, Ranma. If you can lead us to her, we’ll find out what happened to Ryan.” She smiles a little. “By the way, my name’s Britanny Elin’Gia Diggers. This is my sister, Brianna.”
Waving a hand at her, Brianna replies, “Yo!”
Congratulations! You have run across the first two NPCs!
Congratulations! Britanny Bromides are now accessible!
SWEET! WAIT... NPC?
Nookie Potential Character.
AH I-WAIT! I THOUGHT CHEETAH WAS MARRIED?
Hence why actually bagging her will get you a lot of points. AND I DO MEAN A LOT!
BUT SHE’S MARRIED!
They say married women are very experienced, and what did you expect? This IS Nookiequest, is it not? Oh and they did just say they were off to FIND the girl with the clothes. I think you just shot yourself in the foot.
CRAP! THINK, THINK! HOW TO GET OUTTA THIS?
GOT IT! SAY: WELL, MAYBE WE OUGHT TO FIND YOUR FRIEND FIRST. WHAT IF HE’S IN ACTUAL DANGER? FOR ALL WE KNOW, THE GIRL’S A NUDIST.
A concerned look comes over your face. “Well, maybe we ought to find your friend first. What if he’s in actual danger?” Your shrug your shoulders and try to suggest, “For all we know, the girl’s a nudist.”
Britanny sighs in annoyance. “Well, with our luck he probably IS in danger. Whether it’s from a PO’d Gina or what, I intend to find out.”
NOD HEAD AND SAY: YES, DEFINITELY! SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!
You not your head energetically. “Yes, definitely!” You chirrup. “Sounds good to me!”
Noticing your odd behavior, Brianna raises an eyebrow. “You okay?”
SAY: NEVER BETTER!
Smiling, you practically squeak out, “Never better!”
Britanny nods her head. “All right. Let’s get going!”
Congratulations! Britanny has joined your party!
Congratulations! Brianna has joined your party!
CHECK BRITANNY’S INVENTORY.
Britanny is currently carrying:
Gucci Clothes (Worn)
Wedding Ring (Rigth Hand)
Shun Leep Style (20%)
Lycanthrope Abilities (Shape-Shifting, Strength, Speed, Regeneration, etc)
Wallet (30 Yen, 21 Major Credit Cards, 1 Driver's License)
Car Keys
Pride
Exotic Beauty
Hormones
Strong Libido
3 Tuna Steaks
7 Bromides of Stryyp’Gia
SEE? SHE’S HUBBY-HAPPY!
Never said you HAVE to get with her but she’s an option if you can... handle it. Especially since getting with her also unlocks a secret character!
HUH?
As I told you before, do I *look* like a Cheat FAQ? Just check the other one then lead on stupid!
GEEZE, YOU’RE PUSHY. FINE. CHECK BRIANNA’S INVENTORY.
Brianna is currently carrying:
BAD@$$ Armor (Worn)
Don't-Hold-On Grenade-jutsu
Diluted Lycanthrope Abilities (Strength, Speed, Minor Regeneration)
Wallet (400,000 Yen, 3 Major Credit Cards)
BIG@$$ Brain
Incredible Beauty
Over-actice Hormones
Hyperactive Libido
1 BFG 1,000TX+ Alpha
12 Peebos
3 Bromides of Stryyp’Gia
3 Bromides of Genn
HEY! HOW COME SHE HAS BROMIDES OF STRYYP?
Because she wants into his pants so much that you’d think she was a PC.
PLAYER CHARACTER?
Pervert Character.
OH BROTHER...
Oh she wants into her brother-in-law... or rather, him into her. That aside find the redhead and hope you can fix things!
NOD HEAD AND SAY: FOLLOW ME! I THINK I REMEMBER WHERE I LANDED ON HER!
Nodding your head to them when they say they wish to join you, you tell the girls, “Follow me! I think I remember where I landed on her!”
They follow you back to the stop. Once there you find Mr., (possibly Ms.) Talbot is up and rubbing her head. “Ow...” she groans. “God damn, what hit...” she trails off as she notices your group. “Oh, Brianna! Cheetah! What’s up...” she trails off as she stares as you. “Whos the guy... in my clothes!? Why am I naked!?” Her eyes widen in horror as she looks down at herself. “...In fact, WHY AM I A GIRL!?” She screams in sheer terror.
“Ryan?” Brianna whispers in surprise and awe. “No way...”
LOOK INNOCENT AND ASK: WAIT! YOU’RE RYAN? BUT... YOU’RE A GIRL!
You look shocked at the sight. “Wait! You’re Ryan? But... you’re a girl!” With the years of living with Genma and trying to keep secrets from that thieving woman Nabiki, you learned to act quite nicely.
Ryan was running around in circles. “AAAHHHHH! I’M A GIRL, I’M A GIRL, I’M A-” she’s suddenly cut-off as a tazer hits her body. The charred, twitching woman falls to the ground.
“Nice shot, Lord Talon,” Ionis praises his younger master. “Shall you collect her as a Guinea Pig for one of your projects?”
“AND HOW!” Talon laugh. Before any of your group can do anything, he, Ionis and Ryan-chan begin to disappear in what is a rather nice water-drop effect-styled Teleportation.
Congratulations! You Received a Quest: Saving Privates-Changed Ryan!
THAT IS SO BAD!
I know... but hey, it gets your ass off the hook, doesn’t it?
THIS IS TRUE... SO... IT’S A QUEST TO SAVE RYAN. IS IT AN OPTIONAL ONE?
It can be.
SHOULD I OR SHOULDN’T I?
Make up your mind now, boyo. Your NPC’s are rushing the bad guys and this could net you brownie points.
REALLY? HEY! HE’S TELEPORTING WITH HIM THOUGH! HOW THE HELL DO THEY EXPECT ME TO CATCH HIM, LET ALONE SAVE THEIR BUDDY?
Well, realistically, not right now... but it doesn’t hurt to show you’re a team player and get on their good side.
RUN AFTER THE DIGGERS GIRLS.
Seeing the two tall blondes running towards the disappearing trio, you rush after them to catch up. Sadly, even with your speed, you’re no match for a Mage that was in the midst of casting a teleportation spell. Even Cheetah and Brianna, with their enhanced speed, only manage to hit the after-image, Talon and his employee having made off with Ryan-chan.
THAT’S BAD, ISN’T IT?
Yes but not necessarily for you.
Skidding to a halt, Brianna glares at the spot where her target had been. “God damn it!” She curses angrily.
Coming to a stop herself, the werecheetah walks back to where Talon, his lackey and Ryan had disappeared from. “Oh swell, I’ll bet that little twerp planned this to screw with our expedition!” Britanny snarls. She turns about and kicks a boulder-sized rock across a distance.
Brianna nods her head. “Yeah, considering we and Gina had to pay for the area while we investigate, she really needs to ream his ass!”
A grin splits across the werecheetah’s face suddenly. “Bri, she’s the Chairwoman of the Archaeologists Society, remember?”
A grin soon spread across the armored lycanthropoid’s face as well. “Ooooh yes... abuse of power! I love it!”
“Not abuse, he’s on an illegal site!” Britanny corrects her sisters. “Gina went through the proper channels to get it. That brat was here illegally.” She frowns as a realization came to her. “Then again, when does he play by rules?” The werecheetah’s shoulders slump. She shakes her head to clear it of negative thoughts before she turns to you. “Uh, sorry bout the rambling.” She apologizes.
SAY: NO PROBLEM. I CAN SEE YOU HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS ON YOUR MIND.
You give her a reassuring smile. “No problem,” you tell her softly. “I can see you have more important things on your mind.”
“Well, we ought to head back to camp and report,” Brianna eyes you for a moment before offering, “Do you want to come with us?”
YES/NO
YES!
Brianna smiles. “Good! Follow us!”
YOU GAIN:
Brianna’s on the spot trust (temporary until bulked up)
Britanny's on the spot trust (temporary until bulked up)
SAY: THANKS GIRLS... I’M CURIOUS THOUGH. WILL YOU HAVE ANY OTHER CLOTHES WHEN WE GET TO THE CAMP? I’M ONLY WEARING THIS BECAUSE I NEEDED CLOTHING AT THE TIME BUT IF THERE’S ANYTHING ELSE SO I CAN LEAVE THESE CLOTHES BEHIND...
There IS Daishi's outfit.
WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD IF IT WASN’T A CHARRED PIECE OF CRAP!
Good point.
You turn to look at Brianna. “Thanks, girls... I’m curious though. Will you have any other clothes when we get to camp? I’m only wearing this because I needed clothing at the time but if there’s anything else so I can leave these clothes behind...”
Considering your words, Brianna nods her head. “Well, a few of us may have to pick up and head home to save Ryan.” She grinned. “If you want, you could head with us. Perhaps we can get you something ASAP.”
SAY: SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. BUT WHY HEAD HOME?
You smile gratefully. “Sounds good to me,” a curious expression crosses your features. “But why head home?”
The werecheetah steps forward. “Because knowing Pee Wee, he’ll want to get to his full lab. Not some on the spot jury-lab,” Britanny explains to you. “Now come on!”
FOLLOW BRITANNY AND BRIANNA.
You follow the two women back to the camp, getting a good view of their backsides; both women have large, toned posteriors, the kind you could bounce a coin off of.
Gain 20 Character Points for gaining trust of two Diggers sisters.
You have gone up a Level.
Current Player Level: 2 (Neophyte Adventurer)
Gain 16 Perversion Points for staring at their asses.
Current Perversion Level: 1 (Inexperienced Virgin)
SAVE GAME
Saving Game...
Game Saved.
Now what shall you do?
WHAT ELSE BUT...
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(Posted Sun, 28 Jun 2009 20:42)
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