“Most Of The Time, The Others Bitch About The Biggest Pain Is Being Able To Look All You Want, But Not Able To Touch,” Came a steely, raspy voice from right next to Ranma.
“AAAAHHHHHH!” Ranma practically jumped out of his skin, (or ecto-plasm) and look to his side to see Death standing there, holding a tea-cup and tray in his hands. “DON’T DO THAT!” Ranma screamed. For someone who’s heart stopped beating over a week ago, he was certain it was going a mile-a-minute right now.
“I Can’t Help It. It’s What I Do,” Death answered as he lifted his cup to his teeth and took another sip.
Looking down and seeing the concrete sidewalk get wet from tea, Ranma’s eye twitched. “Okay... What are you doing here now? Come to torment me after you’ve made my life hell?”
“Boy,” Death said as he lowered his cup from his teeth. “You Have NO Idea What Hell Is. Besides, Wasn’t It YOUR Choice To Stay On This Mortal Plane As Is, Instead Of Going On To Your Fairly Earned Eternal Damnation?”
Gritting his teeth, Ranma turned away, grumbling about his bad luck. “Rub it in, why don’t ya?”
“Oh, Don’t Be Such a Stick-In-The-Mud,” Death Retorted, lifting his cup of tea. “Besides, I Bring News Of How You Can Wipe Your Slate Clean, If You’re Interested.” He took another sip of tea.
Looking down as more of the liquid poured onto the sidewalk, Ranma hesitantly said, “Oooookaaaay... What’s the catch?”
“You Could Be Reborn and Start Over,” Death said seriously, his bony fingers placing the cup back onto it’s small tray. “You Automatically Get A Blank Slate, And Hopefully, This Time You Can Keep It ‘Clean’.”
“I... I don’t know,” Ranma said seriously. “It sounds like a lot of hard work... And what if I screw up worse the second time?” He frowned. “And how do I know I won’t be waiting a couple-hundred years for a new body?”
If Death had eyebrows, he would’ve raised one. Ranma, showing, intelligence? Well, he’d seen it happen before. Death often did bring enlightenment to even the most dimwitted. “You Sure You Don’t Want To Try For Reincarnation?” Death asked. “There’s Been A Cancellation, And I Can Get You A New Body Pretty Early.”
THAT caught Ranma’s attention. He’d be apprehensive about this idea because of the fact everything might be so... Changed. But... “How early?”
“Anywhere From Nine Months Down The Road, To A Hundred Years Or So In The Future,” Death answered seriously.
Ranma blinked. “THAT early?”
“Yes,” Death said. “But I’d Need You To Agree In The Next Five Minutes If You’re Going To Make It In Time For The Nine Months One. Your Possible Parents Are Copulating As We Speak,” The Grim Reaper said warningly.
His eye twitching, Ranma said, “I SO did NOT need to be told THAT!”
“True,” Death agreed somewhat. “But I’m Just Letting You Know The Seriousness Of Waiting To Make A Choice.” Death glared at Ranma. “Like How Thanks To YOU Keeping Me Busy The Last Time, Elvis Is Still Running Around On Earth Unsupervised!”
“Yeesh! You’re not going to let that one drop, huh?” Ranma grumbled.
“No,” Death answered simply. Ranma was then treated to a familiar sight of the Grim Reaper’s eye-sockets glowing with a red light. Flames appeared and shot up behind the bony bastard as he commanded Ranma to, “NOW CHOOSE!!!”
Looking at the flaming aura, thoroughly unimpressed this time, Ranma asked, “Don’t you got any other tricks?”
His flames dying down, somehow, the left Zygomatic and lower left anterior Parietal bones shook lightly as if to signify Death’s eye twitched in irritation. “If You Don’t Choose Right Now, I’m Going To Make DAMN SURE You End Up As Tatewaki Kuno’s Kid.”
Now THAT was a scary threat. “OKAY! OKAY!” Ranma screamed in a voice a few octaves higher than normal. “Sign me up for that rebirth thingy, but PLEASE! DON’T MAKE ME A SPAWN OF KUNO!”
Making his teacup suddenly disappear and summoning his scythe from nowhere, Death was quiet for a moment. Hefting the large armament/farming tool with one arm, he finally answered, “I’ll Think About It.”
Ranma didn’t get one word out before the scythe went right through him, making him dissipate into nothingness.
With a job well done, the scythe called his tool of the trade back into ‘Sickle Space’, the Grim Reaper recalled his teacup. Lifting it up, he mumbled, “I Hope The Big Boss Knows What He Was Talking About With Letting That Guy Keep His Memories...” He then proceeded to down another sip, the tea spilling down his bones and robs, splattering on the sidewalk.
“ACK!” Came a feminine cry from behind Death, followed by a loud ‘thud’. “Damn it!” Who left this tea here!?”
Death just smiled, (like he could do much else without lips?) THAT would serve Akane right.
(------)
Ranma’s soul went soaring and screaming through a black and white void of swirling light and darkness. The light at the end of the tunnel was getting larger and brighter as he neared it.
And then he disappeared as he slammed right into the end of the funnel. Ranma would be reborn to a pair of parents...
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(Posted Mon, 25 Jul 2005 19:29)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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