"Well, Akane would have threatened to beat them up. Kasumi would have ignored them. I would have insulted them by implying they weren't real men. Why? What did you do?"
"I pulled the bottom of my shirt up to my neck, and he drilled through his own foot."
Kasumi burst out laughing, and Akane's growing anger over the perversion of construction workers was derailed by the immediate punishment of the pervert involved.
Suddenly Nabiki swore foully. When the other three looked at her, she paused, before uttering a stream of invective which made even Akane blush. "I suddenly came up with an explanation for our parent’s behavior."
"Surely it can't be that bad?"
"Keep in mind that Daddy never cared who we spent time with before. He never expressed interest in the hordes of boys after Akane; so it's only Ranma who they're worried about. And it's obvious from the two-headed dildo and the contraceptives that they don't care what we do with each other so long as there are no children. It's obvious there's a reason, and it's obvious they're hiding it from us. What if they're hiding it from shame or embarrassment? What if they're worried about consanguinity?"
Kasumi blanched, but Akane and Ranma looked at her blankly. "What's that?"
"What if Ranma is either our half-brother or our full brother? Either one of us could be adopted from the other family, or one of our fathers was unfaithful with the other's mother?"
Akane's face suffused with anger. "Daddy wouldn't cheat on mommy!" Implicit in her outburst was the assumption that while claiming her father cheated was laughable, suggesting that their mother cheated was inconceivable. Daddy was an idiot at times, but mommy was a saint!"
Ranma didn't object. He had no recollection of his mother to defend. He also had a hard enough time believing one woman found Genma attractive enough to marry, but for two women to both pick him? Impossible. If they were half-siblings they'd have to be sharing Soun as a father.
This brought up the possibility that one of them were adopted from the other family. "If you're our full brother, either Kasumi or I had to be adopted from your family, or you have to be Akane's fraternal twin. When's your birthday?"
"I don't know."
"How could you not know?"
"Pop never bothered celebrating it."
Akane decided this was enough circumstantial evidence to convict Genma. "He must have concealed it to mask that one of us was taken from the other family!" This line of argument meant that their parents were lying, conniving deceivers, but at least none of her parents had cheated on each other. Then she paled, thinking about being descended from Genma. "I hope Ranma's really a Tendo."
Nabiki hadn't ruled out the possibility that Genma was just an uncaring bastard who didn't bother to celebrate Ranma's birthday, perhaps because he knew Soun had cheated with Genma's wife. They could have even swapped Akane and Ranma to raise the girls together, and to concentrate on Ranma's training. "Alright. Tomorrow we'll have DNA tests done on all of us, and if necessary, Ranma can extract blood from our fathers during sparring to test them."
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(Posted Sat, 02 Apr 2005 00:23)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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