[Episode 134870] [Episode 134870]"Such a shame, when a diamond turns out to be cracked, Master."
"Truly, even a diamond of exceptional quality may have flaws, or occlusions, so to may Ranma turn out to have flaws which would place his worth well below mine, but still would he shine over the cubic zirconium of the other males at our school. But the question which nags my mind revolves around how a diamond, like Ranma, could resist the lure of an orchid like Akane? For surely a flower, such as her, would draw anyone like a moth to a flame!"
"Congratulations Master. A triple mixed metaphor!"
"Such accomplishments are to be expected from one such as I. What is important is how could one of heaven's blessed have resisted Akane? It is inconceivable that he could have slighted her unfairly, for though he has been still less fortunate than I, he could not be so base."
Sasuke's mind was otherwise occupied by his chores so when he heard "he could not be so bass." he answered, "Even at sixteen, his voice should have broken by now."
Kuno stopped putting on his hakama. "Sasuke, are you sure you're paying full attention to my speech?"
"Of course, Master. I hang upon your every word!"
"Then perhaps your doctor had best adjust your medication. For Ranma to have spurned the lovely Akane is impossible!"
"Yet Nabiki said it happened."
"Of course!" Kuno leaped to his feet; knocking over Sasuke, and nearly tripping as his hakama fell to his ankles. "It's so obvious where the discrepancy lies. Saotome must prefer the amorous pursuit of men! It should have been immediately obvious, with his flame-red silk shirt, black pants, and Chinese slippers. Saotome has excellent fashion sense! What tortures he must be undergoing!"
"Because he's being ostracized by his peers?"
"No, because he has Akane on one hand, a beauty he is incapable of appreciating; and I on the other, who could never return his affections! Surrounded by the most perfect examples of man and woman, and doomed never to have either. Surely they say the greatest punishment of hell is being able to see heaven, but not enter it."
"Actually, that was the punishment for purgatory. The first circle of hell was as nice as heaven, but lacking God's love."
"Engage me not in theological pedagoguery! Can you not see the poignancy of the situation? Today I must break Saotome's heart, and tell him I can never be his! Oh, cruel fate, that I must crush the heart of such an otherwise perfect man. Were he heterosexual, I could clasp him to my bosom, and call him brother! But now I must refrain. For even if he doesn't take it the wrong way, it would be too cruel to, Tantalus like, dangle his romantic ideal before him, only to snatch it away again!"
"Master, Tantalus was trapped in the Roman version of the afterlife which doesn't fit with the Christian after-life motif you've been using."
"I thought it was an 'after-life theme' that I was using."
"No. The correct term would be motif. A series of motif can then be used to construct a theme."
"You learn something new every day. Bother me not with idle wordplay, for I must consider how to let my new friend down gently. I would not drive him to despair if I could avoid it."
As Kasumi had begun breakfast that morning, she had begun to put on her apron, when she remembered her dream from the night before. It was the same apron she had worn yesterday when Ranma had given her that backrub, and it was the same apron she had worn in their dream.
Instead, for reasons she'd have difficulty articulating, she took it off, and put on a fresh apron. The apron which reminded her of being snogged by Ranma, she folded, and put on the counter to deal with later. Whether that was going to be by adding it to the laundry, or by taking it to her room she wasn't sure.
As she cooked the miso soup, and prepared the rest of the meal, she'd look at the apron, and smiled while blushing.
At breakfast, confusion reigned, as the two Saotomes sought to out-eat each other. No one noticed the odd expression she occasionally wore when she glanced at Ranma.
Unlike the dream Kasumi, the real Kasumi was wearing a different apron, a conservative dress with the proper supporting underclothes. And she was lacking the sexy smile she had worn in the beginning, or the passionate arousal she had worn during the rest of it. So there was nothing at the breakfast table to remind him of his dream of making out with Kasumi in the kitchen.
It wasn't until his mind started wandering as he ran on top of the fence to school that he remembered it, and it was only chance that he landed on dry land when he fell off.
Nabiki and Ranma joined Akane among the twisted wreckage of the Hentai Horde, and the smashed remains of their equipment as Kuno walked out from behind a tree, notably without his bokken. "Akane Tendo. I regret to inform you I can not spar with you today, for I must speak to Saotome."
"What do you want, Kuno."
"I owe you an apology, Saotome. I misinterpreted your actions, and attributed you below your obvious worth. I couldn't think of a better beard for Akane Tendo than you. For that you have my thanks."
Ranma and Akane completely missed the implication of the phrase "beard" or they would have been angry over the implications that Kuno regarded Ranma as a decoy boyfriend for Akane, protecting Akane for Kuno. Nabiki however, had caught the reference, and was restraining her expression with difficulty.
Ranma merely accepted the apology with a casual "Don't worry about it. No harm done."
"Your generosity makes it all the harder for me to deliver this bad news to you. I'm afraid I can never be yours."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm afraid you're too butch for me." Kuno used the time during their open-mouthed confusion to walk into the school.
After she had cleaned up the remains of breakfast, she took yesterday’s apron to her room. She put it on the bed and sat down next to it. While her eyes were focused in the apron, her mind was wandering. She replayed what she could remember of the dream in her mind.
She remembered the passion her husband, Ranma, had put into his kiss, and the feel of his hand caressing her bottom. Only in a dream, or after years of familiarity could a lover have known exactly what she wanted without doing something she didn't want. And her dream, Ranma had a kind of fumbling naivite she'd imagined an inexperienced teenager would have.
Only in a dream could she have encouraged someone so wantonly. It just wasn't like her; but it felt so good. Not just the feelings her body gave her, but the feelings of being free to express herself without considering how she should behave.
Finally she got up to leave. But before she reached the door, she glanced back at the apron, still lying on the bed, and paused in thought. Finally, she proceeded to the door, and locked it shut.
On the inside of the door was a full length mirror, and Kasumi posed in front of it, seeing what her outfit looked like from the front, and from the sides. Then she took off her dress, and put the apron on over her underwear.
Posing in the apron, she looked perfectly respectable from the front. It was impossible to see what, if anything, she was wearing beneath it, except her shoulders and arms were bare. This wasn't the naughty image from the night before.
Without removing the apron she opened her bra, and removed it through the neck of the apron. Now it was more obvious. Her breasts moved with only the friction of the cloth to restrain their motion. The nipples tented the fabric, and gave her a pleasant feeling when she moved her torso to show off their mobility.
Bending over, she pulled off her panties, and tossed them onto the bed, next to her bra and dress. This changed nothing from the front, but exposed her hips and the sides of her bottom when she turned sideways. She imagined what she looked like from behind, as the dream Ranma first saw her; her back, bottom, and legs fully exposed to his view. Were her legs far enough apart that he could have seen her pussy?
She laughed to herself about wondering what a fictitious person may or may not have seen. She was curious about what such a pose looked like, but it didn't matter. It wasn't as if anyone would see her like that, at least not until she had a husband. She wasn't sure she'd have the courage to do it even then. It would probably depend on the husband.
Finally she went to her dresser, and selected her laciest bra and panties. Not that they'd raise an eyebrow in a high-school girl's changing room; they were rather conservative, but they were the sexiest she owned. She'd always purchased undergarments with an eye towards practicality and comfort.
Then she put on her yukata, and carried her lingerie to the bathroom to shave her legs. Perhaps she'd put on some makeup too.
The English teacher asked the class president, "How far did we get in yesterday's reading?"
"We reached the middle of page 87."
"Fine, then. Akane Tendo, please read starting with the first paragraph on page 87."
"With one bound, he was by her side. Nora felt his hot breath on her cheek, as he ripped the thin silk from her heaving..."
"Hold on, Ms. Tendo. Mr. Saotome. I realize you're new here: I assume you have a question?"
Ranma's ponytail was in the process of untoinging. "This is really different from what I was expecting."
"That's quite understandable. Jane Austen was a master of writing romance novels set in the elegance of Georgian England. Her use of language and imagery is exquisite, and the character's pursuit of love is such that no one on the school board could possibly object. Most characters spend a hundred pages before they get to hold hands.
"Unfortunately, someone ordered two hundred copies of 'Prude and Prejudice', ostensibly due to a typo. So far, we've read five cases of date-rape (including two that would have counted as statutory rape in the country it was written in, as the girl was sixteen), two sodomies, three fellatios, four examples of pointless intercourse in the background with unnamed characters, presumably for atmosphere, one example of cunnilingus, and that one unfortunate instance on page 47. The class is divided two to five against it being physiologically possible.
"I believe Hiroshi is keeping a score card of words that are used differently, or not at all outside this rather narrow genre. Where have we gotten with that list?
"Six 'Throbbing', three 'Turgid', ten 'Heaving', seven 'Suckling', two 'Tonguing', one 'Erect', eleven 'Coming', and one 'Golden Shower'."
"Now unless there are anymore questions, we'll let Ms. Tendo proceed, with 'her heaving bosom.'"
When Ranma’s head whipped away from the teacher, and focused on the chest of a blushing Akane, one of her best friends snickered audibly. Ranma apparently found something on his desk-top infinitely fascinating for the remainder of the class.
It was apparent that while Soun might claim the de jure role as titular head of the Tendo family, the de facto head of the household was Kasumi. So when Ranma decided he needed to go out for the evening, he didn't bother talking to Soun, and went directly to Kasumi.
Over the years traveling with his father, he had stayed at several dojo for short periods of time, and a large number of the wives of dojo masters were impressive women in their own right. Ranma learned some manners (the hard way) which he concealed from his father to avoid his scorn. This fact, combined with his responsibilities in maintaining the campsite when traveling with his father left him with a bizarre mix of social niceties.
For example, no one could see him eat without deciding that here was a barbarian, completely unfit for anything but the rudest company. But in contrast, his living area was always tidy. In part, it was a rebellion against being the same kind of slob his father was. He had to eat like a pig, just to stay fed around his father, but in other ways he wanted to be better than his father. In part it was due to his father calling housework, "women's work," and making Ranma do it all, and then teasing Ranma about it. If Ranma didn't allow messes to form, he avoided dealing with his father's abuse.
Likewise, Ranma learned manners when living in a household, which he wouldn't use with his father. And one of those manners involved letting the household know when he would be around, and when he would be out. So after undressing and folding his clothes, he splashed himself with water, and drifted through the floor to talk to Kasumi as she finished washing the dishes.
Ranma knew that with his multiple engagements to the Tendo sisters, there were new expectations on him; he just didn't understand what they were. Even though they didn't intend to go through with the engagement, he knew he'd be expected to date, and possibly do other romantic things with the three Tendo sisters. But he had no Idea what to do.
In addition to missing sex education classes while growing up, he also missed interacting with his peers, manga, books, television, and movies due to his traveling, finances, and his semi-literate father's scorn. So when it came to dating, he knew nothing beyond the idea of dinner and a movie, a walk in the park, and a goodnight kiss.
Ranma was certain he could improvise if he had to. After all, he figured out kissing fast enough; granted it was in a dream, but it felt real enough. But he really didn't want to screw things up, and improvisation always has occasional disasters. Better to prepare beforehand. But how to prepare?
Asking his father was a last resort. Asking Mr. Tendo looked like it might be just as bad. His classmates, and their attacks on Akane, plus their half-understood veiled comments ruled them out of consideration. Ranma didn't even think of Dr. Tofu, as he had only seen him once. That left the Tendo sisters, themselves.
While he would admit his ignorance to them if he had to, he would rather keep the depths of his ignorance a secret. A more studious Ranma would have searched out something to read. Ranma decided to spy on other people's dates. Ranma didn't even consider this as prurient voyeurism. This was about learning a technique he'd need.
He still hadn't made a real connection between the people he saw necking, or his shared dream with Kasumi, and dating. Dating was dinner, a movie, a walk in the park, and a goodnight kiss. Necking with Kasumi was something else. Something he could research later. Tonight he was going to learn how to date.
"Kasumi, I'm going out for the evening."
"Oh, Ranma, do you need some hot water before you go?"
"No. I'll go out like this. Don't worry about anybody letting me back in, tonight. If the house is locked up when I get back, I'll just walk through the wall to get back in."
"How long will you be gone?"
Ranma noticed Akane as she came to listen in on the conversation in the kitchen, but didn't care if she overheard. "I don't know. I've never done this before."
"What are you trying to do? Maybe I can help?"
"No thanks. It wouldn't be right. Besides, I'd feel funny about it. I'm gonna have ta be able to take you three out on dates, and I don't know the area at all, so I'm gonna look around the neighborhood. Visit a few movie theaters, and visit Koisukebe Park. Maybe look at where other daters go."
"Well, have fun."
It wasn't until after Ranma left, that Akane remembered that the relaxing Koisukebe Park, that she liked to visit by day, was a notorious make-out point at night. The council had even forbidden police to use flashlights in the park unless in pursuit of a serious criminal, because of the likelihood that they'd disturb the people busy with much more personal matters.
The overcrowding in Tokyo and the paucity of automobiles had led to two major social differences with America and Western Europe. One was the "love hotel," a hotel where couples could rent a room by the hour. The other was the make-out parks.
In these parks, most of the social taboos were set aside, as long as no one was too flagrant about it. Partial nudity would be forgiven, and otherwise unacceptable public displays of affection would be ignored. The sound of lovemaking could be heard occasionally from the bushes, and sometimes seen from the paths if one strayed to the less well lit areas. Police concentrated on arresting the peeping toms, rather than ruining the fun of the inhabitants.
And Ranma had just declared his intention to visit that place in order to see what went on there. Worse still, he was doing it to learn how to behave on dates with her and her sisters. If Ranma were still at home, Akane would have stopped him. If Ranma left as a normal person, she'd have tracked him down to stop him.
But Ranma had floated out through the wall; invisible, and intangible. There was no way Akane could track him by any means at her disposal. But Akane knew that something had to be done! Going to the park to find Ranma was something; therefore she had to do it.
Meanwhile, Ranma was nowhere near the park. He was following his itinerary. Dates started with dinner. Well, he'd already eaten, and he knew how to eat, so he decided it would be a waste of time to watch other couples eat. So it was time to switch to part two. Go see a movie.
Ranma selected an action movie that looked interesting, phased through the wall, and decided where she'd watch the movie from. She selected a spot twenty feet from the screen, perfectly dead center. This, incidentally, left him twelve feet off of the ground, and directly between the projector and the screen, but as he was flying, and invisible, no one noticed her, and she didn't have to worry about someone trying to sit in an apparently empty chair, and find themselves in the lap of an invisible redhead.
Ranma enjoyed the movie immensely. It was only after it was done that she mentally kicked herself, as she had learned nothing about the way she was supposed to behave in the theater on a date. So it was time to attend the movie again, but this time, she'd watch the people in the theater, and ignore the film.
There was alot of strange behavior going on. Guys bought popcorn that they shared with their dates, which Ranma could understand. But he noticed that occasionally when couples would touch hands while eating it, they'd draw back in embarrassment and blush.
Different couples behaved differently, with no indication as to what determined their behavior. Some couples just watched the movie, shyly flinching when they came into contact. Others seemed comfortable leaning against each other, as they watched the film, obviously together even as they concentrated on the movie.
This made sense to Ranma, as he somewhat understood that the idea of the date was to enjoy being with someone else. These couples obviously enjoyed each other's company even if they weren't talking, or communicating openly.
Then there were the dates that didn't seem to be going well. The ones where the girl looked like she was under constant attack from the boy. Eventually Ranma hit upon a method to deal with these perverts. He'd reach through the bottom of the guy's seat cushion, and give him a vicious pinch on the ass.
Occasionally the boy might think it was an isolated event, and ignore it. But after giving a second pinch where no pinch could occur, every boy behaved lest he anger the hidden chaperone.
Finally there were the boys who were "attacking" their dates, while their dates were encouraging them. Concealed in the dark of the theater, the couples wrestled with each other, their clothes, their morals, and their passions.
Ranma catalogued as many techniques as he could, and then remembered how he could feel what Kasumi felt when he gave her a backrub. Ranma decided to try to do it again, to see if he could learn what the effects of the boys' attacks were. In order to touch one of the girls without alerting or frightening them, he phased his body through their chair, and made skin-to-skin contact.
This let him feel, in a muted way, what the girl was feeling, and cross-reference it with what she saw the boy doing to her. Within an hour, he'd learned most of the techniques a dozen boys had gleaned from hentai books and magazines related to heavy petting. And unlike them, he knew which ones were working and which ones weren't.
He didn't know why some of them weren't working, or how he might improve them. He didn't know when he was expected to behave this way. He didn't know why only some of the dates were doing this. And he didn't know how to make his tongue do THAT.
But given the opportunity, he'd learn. Some of the attacks looked like reiki, or shiatsu. Ranma knew enough of the basics that he might be able to learn something from some manuals on shiatsu. Some reminded him of what he and Kasumi did in the dream, and some reminded him of the thrusting Nabiki did that was reminiscent, to Ranma at least, of someone packing an overfull duffel.
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(Posted Wed, 23 Mar 2005 07:36)
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